NOW YOU KNOW WHY THOSE ACTRESSES TRY TO STAY SO SKINNY







No, this isn't real, just some fun I had with Microsoft Paint. Seems pretty plausible though, doesn't it?

THIS JUST IN...IT'S SNOWING



I've coined a new term for the ceaseless, breathless coverage of winter storms on the Philadelphia TV news shows: The Snowgasm.



Kathy Orr must have broken in 5 times during Tiger Woods' sleepwalk to another golf championship to tell us...what, exactly? "We have a live camera on Center City, and there's still this collection of white, fluffy wet objects falling from the sky! It's like, been doing this for hours! Don't go outside!! Don't drive your cars!!! One to two feet are expected and, uh, uhhh, UHHHH, UHHHHH!!!!!! OH YES! OH MY GOD YES!!!!"



This stuff is even worse during sweeps month, which it happens to be right now. They know we're all trapped in our houses, and we all have this morbid fascination with seeing news reporters suffer hypothermia standing out in the cold, so this is an absolute ratings bonanza. They can all practically count their overtime checks and bonuses. If the storm lasts much longer, I fully expect to see a sports guy and a Sunday female anchor in flagrante delicto in a snow bank on 4th and Chestnut. This just in! indeed.