THE NEVERENDING STOOOOORRRY!

"President" Barack Obama today released a super-8 video with a date stamp of August 4, 1961 that shows shots of his mother on her way to the hospital, with the unmistakeable silhouette of Diamond Head rising over Waikiki Beach in the background, pulling into the hospital that is clearly marked as "Kapiolani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital, Honolulu, Hawaii", graphic shots of his mother literally giving birth to him inside the same hospital, various doctors and nurses, many of whom appear to be of Hawaiian descent, proclaiming that it is a boy, and his mother saying, "I'm naming him Barack Hussein Obama".

 

Orly Taitz responded, "This film was produced by the same people who faked the moon landings, obviously."

TCP'S ALASKA: EPISODE 2

I took a one-hour walk today along the street where I live. I used to do that in Hawaii pretty regularly, and I'll give you an idea of what I saw.

Number of obscenely hot girls in bikinis seen on my walk: Hawaii - too many to count, Alaska - zero.

Number of churches seen on my walk: Hawaii - just a wedding chapel, where hot Japanese brides and bridesmaids were often posing for photos, Alaska - four (Catholic, Church of God, Baptist, Methodist).

I am beginning to see the error of my ways. However,

Number of Starbucks along my walk: Hawaii - zero, Alaska: one.

Eh, it's not quite the same, but I'll take what I can get.