At least I didn't buy it for myself.
Friday, January 09, 2004
NOW WE KNOW
Remember back in week two of TCP when I asked, who runs up a six-figure water bill?
Well, it's a seven-figure bill, but here's the answer.
Remember back in week two of TCP when I asked, who runs up a six-figure water bill?
Well, it's a seven-figure bill, but here's the answer.
HAIR-BRAINED
So, how are we doing in the War on Terror? Is there one leading indicator that can tell us all we need to know? Yes, news fans, there is. I call it "The Banfield Hair Color Index".
If you recall, MSNBC anchor Ashleigh Banfield either stopped dyeing her blond or started dyeing her hair brown (the actual answer requires more research than TCP is capable of) after she was assigned to Afghanistan. Her rationale was that she didn't want to "offend" the locals with her theretofore brassy 'do. Here we see Ash's pre-9/11 coif:
And this is how she looked shortly after taking the Afghan job:
In August of 2002, back from the 'Stan, she added a few blond streaks, so things were looking up on the terrorism front:
But then in May of 2003, as the Iraqi conflict raged on, the streaks were gone, and a frightening reddish tone emerged, signalling a possible escalation in Al-Qaeda activity:
Finally, this most recent photo shows Ms. Banfield with a more somber sienna tint to her tresses, evincing a slight lessening of tensions, but certainly no return to the pre-9/11 halcyon days:
So, there you have it. Are we winning the War on Terror? All you need to do is watch the hair.
So, how are we doing in the War on Terror? Is there one leading indicator that can tell us all we need to know? Yes, news fans, there is. I call it "The Banfield Hair Color Index".
If you recall, MSNBC anchor Ashleigh Banfield either stopped dyeing her blond or started dyeing her hair brown (the actual answer requires more research than TCP is capable of) after she was assigned to Afghanistan. Her rationale was that she didn't want to "offend" the locals with her theretofore brassy 'do. Here we see Ash's pre-9/11 coif:
And this is how she looked shortly after taking the Afghan job:
In August of 2002, back from the 'Stan, she added a few blond streaks, so things were looking up on the terrorism front:
But then in May of 2003, as the Iraqi conflict raged on, the streaks were gone, and a frightening reddish tone emerged, signalling a possible escalation in Al-Qaeda activity:
Finally, this most recent photo shows Ms. Banfield with a more somber sienna tint to her tresses, evincing a slight lessening of tensions, but certainly no return to the pre-9/11 halcyon days:
So, there you have it. Are we winning the War on Terror? All you need to do is watch the hair.
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
DISCOVERING MY WORLD
Kinda busy today. I'm developing my own Discovery Channel show called "American Monster Blogger Spaces". Every show, we take somebody's normal blog, and soup it up into a freaky, snarky, mindblowing information powerhouse. There's an authority figure who is always yelling at the guy who does all the work, and we're always running against impossible deadlines which we meet at the very last second, and there's always tension as to whether the people will like the finished product. But they always do! Except for the special episodes when they hate it. You should be seeing it next fall when they run out of episodes of all the other crap.
Kinda busy today. I'm developing my own Discovery Channel show called "American Monster Blogger Spaces". Every show, we take somebody's normal blog, and soup it up into a freaky, snarky, mindblowing information powerhouse. There's an authority figure who is always yelling at the guy who does all the work, and we're always running against impossible deadlines which we meet at the very last second, and there's always tension as to whether the people will like the finished product. But they always do! Except for the special episodes when they hate it. You should be seeing it next fall when they run out of episodes of all the other crap.
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
HE'S IN!
Pete Rose, who has recently admitted to betting on baseball while managing the Cincinnati Reds after denying it for over 13 years, has been unanimously elected into the Lying Gamblers' Hall Of Fame, a spokesman announced.
"He received 100% of the vote," said spokesman Ace Deucey (not his real name). "We've been trying to get him in for years, but we were never quite sure he was lying about betting on baseball. We were pretty sure he was a prodigious gambler, and we figured he lied about lots of other stuff, but to bet on his own sport and then lie about it, well, that's Hall Of Fame caliber lying and gambling."
The Lying Gamblers Hall Of Fame, which on its web site lists its location as Las Vegas when it is actually in Reno, numbers among its luminaries the 1919 Chicago Black Sox, Michael Jordan, and last year's inductee, Bill Bennett.
Pete Rose, who has recently admitted to betting on baseball while managing the Cincinnati Reds after denying it for over 13 years, has been unanimously elected into the Lying Gamblers' Hall Of Fame, a spokesman announced.
"He received 100% of the vote," said spokesman Ace Deucey (not his real name). "We've been trying to get him in for years, but we were never quite sure he was lying about betting on baseball. We were pretty sure he was a prodigious gambler, and we figured he lied about lots of other stuff, but to bet on his own sport and then lie about it, well, that's Hall Of Fame caliber lying and gambling."
The Lying Gamblers Hall Of Fame, which on its web site lists its location as Las Vegas when it is actually in Reno, numbers among its luminaries the 1919 Chicago Black Sox, Michael Jordan, and last year's inductee, Bill Bennett.
Monday, January 05, 2004
FOR A GOOD TIME CALL
Ladies and Gentlemen of the great state of California, I present your Governor!
Ay, caramba.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the great state of California, I present your Governor!
Ay, caramba.
Sunday, January 04, 2004
GOLD, FRANKINCENSE, MYRRH NOT REQUIRED. WELL, GOLD WOULD BE NICE
Wish me Happy Birthday, you freaks!
And I refuse to waste more precious blogspace on Britney "I Like Jacking With Civil Servants" Spears. Oh, I just did. Well, let's be realistic, blogspace really isn't all that precious. Certainly not in these parts.
Wish me Happy Birthday, you freaks!
And I refuse to waste more precious blogspace on Britney "I Like Jacking With Civil Servants" Spears. Oh, I just did. Well, let's be realistic, blogspace really isn't all that precious. Certainly not in these parts.
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