Yes, it's back, by popular (read: my own) demand, TCP's annual MLB Predictions. Participate in the Moral Imperatives, if you dare. Simply list the winners of all 6 divisions, the 2 wildcard teams, and how the playoffs will play, um, off, plus any other happenings that might, um, happen. Then I will ridicule you. Start ridiculing me...now!
NL East....Phillies. Oh, how I hate to make this prediction. I was a Mets fan for the first 22 years of my life, moved to Illinois and became a White Sox fan, moved to Houston and became an Astros fan, and then moved to Pennsylvania and became a Phillies fan. Then Ed Wade hired one too many 40-year old relievers, MLB.tv came into existence, and Brett Myers beat his wife and Phillies President Bill Giles apologized to him for letting her get in the way of his fist, and I went back to being a Mets fan. Then Jimmy Rollins turned into the second coming of Ernie Banks, and the Phillies are good now. Meanwhile, the Mets appear to believe that they are in an over-40 Latino-only league. The Braves have cut costs to the bone and will play Mark Kotsay in CF, who has more back problems than the Mandelbaum family on Seinfeld. The Marlins would LOVE to have the Braves salary structure, and should enjoy some peace and quiet at their home games. The Nats built a new stadium, which if nothing else, should be cheaper than their last new stadium, the Stade Olympique, which Montrealers are still paying for even though it is now used mostly for the occasional Rush concert.
NL Central...Cubs. Ah, the Audacity of Hope! Comically named Japanese import Kosuke Fukudome (the crowd chants Fuk-U!, Fuk-U!) joins this band of chronic fan-letter-downers for their 100th Anniversary non-World-Series-winning campaign. But they should make the playoffs in the Weakest Division In Baseball (c). The Brewers will find a way to blow it again, as Ben Sheets comes down with Smallpox or possibly Diphtheria. The Reds should be improved, but they are still the Reds. The Astros hired Ed Wade as their GM, so watch out at the 59 Diner for a phalanx of relievers coming in for the early bird special. The Cards have one pitcher in RF and another pitcher batting eighth, signaling their complete surrender. The Pirates can't even get "Talk Like A Pirate Day" scheduled until they are already out of it by 40 games.
NL West...Diamondbacks. These are the guys who haven't changed their name to be politically correct. I guess they could take out the "Diamond" to be sensitive to African tribal conflicts. They won it last year with a bunch of guys that had to get permission slips from their parents to make road trips. I don't expect them to get any worse. The Padres rid themselves of one Giles brother, but are still subsidizing the other one's declining years for some reason. The Dodgers have Joe Torre, who will suddenly become a much worse manager now that he doesn't have a $200 million payroll. The Rockies, as often happens to World Series losers, will slip back to reality, probably because of a humidor malfunction. The Giants have the worst lineup since Saturday night on ABC in 1976 (Dave Roberts is "Holmes & Yo-Yo", and Ray Durham is "Mr T & Tina").
NL Wild Card...Padres
NL Playoffs...D'Backs beat Phillies, Cubs beat Padres. D'Backs beat Cubs when a female Chicago mental patient dressed as Beatrix Kiddo from "Kill Bill" wielding a samurai sword runs onto the field during Game 7 and causes Fukudome to drop a crucial pop fly. The Cubs bullpen will then give up 18 runs.
AL East...Red Sox. I'm a Yankee despiser going way back, so there doesn't need to be any other reason, but now that Manny is doing yoga, the chakras will be opened up in Fenway like nobody's business. The Yankees will revert to the 70's as Hank Steinbrenner takes full control. He'll try to start a running feud with Bobby Abreu, but unlike Reggie Jackson, Abreu will barely notice, or care. The Rays, who DID change their name to be politically correct, will still not be any good, but they will be better than the Blue Jays and way better than the Orioles, who should change everything about their franchise except their name (and ballpark) immediately.
AL Central...Tigers. The Motor City Kitties went out and got Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis from the Marlins for a bunch of minor leaguers. Detroit hasn't seen a knee-capping like that since Nancy Kerrigan. The Indians (the guys who should really be changing their names), will continue to field a team with a guy nicknamed Pronk. The White Sox will cause manager Ozzie Guillen to finally become unable to utter anything besides unintelligible bilingual profanity. The Twins will discover that the Mets farm system wasn't any good BEFORE they traded Johan Santana to acquire it. The Royals will experience another year in a rebuilding process that began shortly after the retirement of George Brett.
AL West...Angels. No more team name jokes, we've hit our quota. Los Angeles De Los Angeles De Anaheim (ok, one more) has a four-man outfield of Garrett Anderson, Torii Hunter, Vladimir Guerrero, and Gary Matthews, Jr., which would be great if they were playing in a beer league on Tuesday nights, but not so good for the majors. They'll figure it out enough to beat the likes of the Mariners, Athletics and Rangers, who don't have four decent outfielders between them. The Rangers are just hoping George W. Bush doesn't go back to being their owner in his post-White House years.
Al Wild Card...Yankees
AL Playoffs...Red Sox beat Tigers, Angels beat Yankees. Red Sox beat Angels as Sox fans, instead of singing "Sweet Caroline" during the middle of the 8th inning, take to reciting passages of the Bhagavad Gita.
World Series...D'Backs beat Red Sox, despite the fact that the latter parts of the games are past most of their bed times.
Friday, April 04, 2008
CALIFORNIA DREAMING
The Mets were off last night, and moved up to a half-game behind the Nats, who dropped an extra-inning "Citizens Bank Special" to the Phillies, 8-7.
Meanwhile, I got word that I am headed to Los Angeles during the last week of April and the first week of May, when by happenstance, the Amazin's will be in town. I am so there. Photos and a full accounting of Dodger Dog delectability will follow.
The Braves are up next for a weekend set leading up to the final Opening Day at Shea against Philadelphia.
Meanwhile, I got word that I am headed to Los Angeles during the last week of April and the first week of May, when by happenstance, the Amazin's will be in town. I am so there. Photos and a full accounting of Dodger Dog delectability will follow.
The Braves are up next for a weekend set leading up to the final Opening Day at Shea against Philadelphia.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
WRIGHTING THE SHIP
The Mets improved to 2-1 with a 13-0 smackdown of the Marlins. David Wright singled, doubled, homered, and generally made us all feel goooood. The homer was a majestic objet d'art, with Wright waiting perfectly on a hanging curve from Lee Gardner and making every millimeter of the sweet spot of the bat meet of the baseball. It was a no-doubter even through the blurry haze of MLB.TV.
Carlos Beltran now leads the civilized planet in extra-base hits, adding three more doubles last night. One of the doubles was a home run that crew chief Rick Reed (not the ex-Met scab pitcher) let himself be talked out of. The ball bounced squarely of a railing about three feet beyond the fence and came back into play. Reed initially signalled for a homer, but after a conference with the other blind bats, who were even further from the play than Reed, umping second base, was, he changed it to a double. It's a play replay was made for. Someday, Bud will embrace this new-found video thingy he's heard so much about.
Oliver Perez went six shutout innings, and then Pedro replacement Nelson Figueroa, Pedro Feliciano, and Daddy Wags finished up. Ol' Pete had his MRI in New York, and he'll be out the obligatory "4 to 6 weeks", meaning he'll be back when he's damn well ready. Pedro tends to take his time with pretty much every aspect of his life, so I'm think we'll see him back on the mound in early June. That will leave El Duque and Mike Pelfrey to get way too many starts. Luckily, the Phillies' bullpen is a shambles and the Braves have no pitching after Smoltz and Hudson, so I think we'll muddle through, at least as long as Wright and Beltran stay this molten, anyway. I'll think I'll watch that Wright homer again on the highlight video. Mmm, mmm, gooooood.
Carlos Beltran now leads the civilized planet in extra-base hits, adding three more doubles last night. One of the doubles was a home run that crew chief Rick Reed (not the ex-Met scab pitcher) let himself be talked out of. The ball bounced squarely of a railing about three feet beyond the fence and came back into play. Reed initially signalled for a homer, but after a conference with the other blind bats, who were even further from the play than Reed, umping second base, was, he changed it to a double. It's a play replay was made for. Someday, Bud will embrace this new-found video thingy he's heard so much about.
Oliver Perez went six shutout innings, and then Pedro replacement Nelson Figueroa, Pedro Feliciano, and Daddy Wags finished up. Ol' Pete had his MRI in New York, and he'll be out the obligatory "4 to 6 weeks", meaning he'll be back when he's damn well ready. Pedro tends to take his time with pretty much every aspect of his life, so I'm think we'll see him back on the mound in early June. That will leave El Duque and Mike Pelfrey to get way too many starts. Luckily, the Phillies' bullpen is a shambles and the Braves have no pitching after Smoltz and Hudson, so I think we'll muddle through, at least as long as Wright and Beltran stay this molten, anyway. I'll think I'll watch that Wright homer again on the highlight video. Mmm, mmm, gooooood.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
OH, MY HAMMY!
That didn't go well.
Pedro Martinez' healthy period lasted all of three and one-third innings in 2008. After inducing a grounder from Matt Treanor (how's that name for irony?), Petey grabbed the back of his leg and called out the Mets trainers. ESPN is reporting that he heard a "pop" in his hamstring. It might have been champagne coming from Phillies' and Braves' clubhouses.
Pedro wasn't exactly looking like Johan Santana at the time, ceding homers to Dan Uggla and Luis Gonzalez in his brief stint. According to the fine Marlins broadcast team of Rich Waltz and Tom Seaver-killer Tommy Hutton, Luis Gonzalez is third on the all time list for homers by a left fielder (only Mr. Bonds and Mr. Williams are his betters), which was pretty shocking to me at least. He still throws like a particularly unathletic girl.
The Mets erased a 4-0 deficit to tie the game, mostly with walks, singles, and sac flies. Marlins starter Rick Vandenhurk was no Dutch Master, throwing 76 pitches in 3-plus innings of work and giving up three of the four runs. That left the decision to the bullpens, and both were outstanding. After Renyel Pinto bailed out Vandenhurk in the third inning, the rest of Florida's pen yielded only a questionable infield hit to Brian Schneider for the rest of the game. It's a shame that the Marlins will have to wear these guys' arms out, because they look pretty good when fresh. The Mets pen was equally as good, especially Jorge Sosa, who finished up for Pedro in the third and went two more scoreless frames.
The 4-4 score held until the bottom of the 10th, after I had given up and gone to bed. Fifth Met reliever Matt Wise served up a nice fat one to someone called Robert Andino, who smacked it over the scoreboard in left field for the game-winner. All 27 Marlins fans left at the game drove home through the chowder-like south Florida humidity happy, and the Mets dropped to 1-1.
I was watching the game, as I will most games this year, on MLB.TV. I chose MLB.TV over ExtraInnings from the cable provider because I travel so much. At home, I have a 42" LCD TV, to which I have connected a spare PC in the VGA input of the TV. It works great, and I love being able to check my Strat team's live stats between innings. I bought the Premium package to take advantage of their higher resolutions. This year, they upped the highest resolution to 1.2 megabits, but I ended up watching most of it at 800 kilobits because the 1.2 feed kept freezing up at least twice per half-inning. MLB makes you download some kind of "web accelerator" if you want to watch the 1.2 feed, and as soon as I saw that, I knew it wasn't going to be very good. I can only hope Time-Warner continues to improve their bandwidth up to broadcast quality, because this accelerator business will never cut it. Maybe in 2013 I'll get a decent picture.
The Mets take on the Istiophoridae again today, with Oliver Perez matching left arms with rookie Andrew Miller. Miller is on my Strat team, so I fully expect a thumping from the Mets' bats. I only hope young Andrew can keep it from turning Buerhle-esque.
Pedro Martinez' healthy period lasted all of three and one-third innings in 2008. After inducing a grounder from Matt Treanor (how's that name for irony?), Petey grabbed the back of his leg and called out the Mets trainers. ESPN is reporting that he heard a "pop" in his hamstring. It might have been champagne coming from Phillies' and Braves' clubhouses.
Pedro wasn't exactly looking like Johan Santana at the time, ceding homers to Dan Uggla and Luis Gonzalez in his brief stint. According to the fine Marlins broadcast team of Rich Waltz and Tom Seaver-killer Tommy Hutton, Luis Gonzalez is third on the all time list for homers by a left fielder (only Mr. Bonds and Mr. Williams are his betters), which was pretty shocking to me at least. He still throws like a particularly unathletic girl.
The Mets erased a 4-0 deficit to tie the game, mostly with walks, singles, and sac flies. Marlins starter Rick Vandenhurk was no Dutch Master, throwing 76 pitches in 3-plus innings of work and giving up three of the four runs. That left the decision to the bullpens, and both were outstanding. After Renyel Pinto bailed out Vandenhurk in the third inning, the rest of Florida's pen yielded only a questionable infield hit to Brian Schneider for the rest of the game. It's a shame that the Marlins will have to wear these guys' arms out, because they look pretty good when fresh. The Mets pen was equally as good, especially Jorge Sosa, who finished up for Pedro in the third and went two more scoreless frames.
The 4-4 score held until the bottom of the 10th, after I had given up and gone to bed. Fifth Met reliever Matt Wise served up a nice fat one to someone called Robert Andino, who smacked it over the scoreboard in left field for the game-winner. All 27 Marlins fans left at the game drove home through the chowder-like south Florida humidity happy, and the Mets dropped to 1-1.
I was watching the game, as I will most games this year, on MLB.TV. I chose MLB.TV over ExtraInnings from the cable provider because I travel so much. At home, I have a 42" LCD TV, to which I have connected a spare PC in the VGA input of the TV. It works great, and I love being able to check my Strat team's live stats between innings. I bought the Premium package to take advantage of their higher resolutions. This year, they upped the highest resolution to 1.2 megabits, but I ended up watching most of it at 800 kilobits because the 1.2 feed kept freezing up at least twice per half-inning. MLB makes you download some kind of "web accelerator" if you want to watch the 1.2 feed, and as soon as I saw that, I knew it wasn't going to be very good. I can only hope Time-Warner continues to improve their bandwidth up to broadcast quality, because this accelerator business will never cut it. Maybe in 2013 I'll get a decent picture.
The Mets take on the Istiophoridae again today, with Oliver Perez matching left arms with rookie Andrew Miller. Miller is on my Strat team, so I fully expect a thumping from the Mets' bats. I only hope young Andrew can keep it from turning Buerhle-esque.
Monday, March 31, 2008
OPEN SEASON ON MARLIN
Oh, yeah, you know it, I'm baseball blogging again. I gotta keep this thing on life support. It's how I know I'm alive.
I didn't see today's Mets game, it being an afternoon tilt and me being a person who works at that time. I noticed from ESPN GameCast that the Mets put up a 6-spot in the 4th, with my man crush David Wright capping off the scoring with a bases-clearing double. Johan put in a decent effort, striking out 8 in 7 innings. The bullpen was scoreless, which is a good sign.
The Marlins have Luis Gonzalez. In right field! Dude has an arm like a paraplegic. In my advanced state of decrepitude, I could go first to third on him, on a line drive hit right at him, with me carrying two bowling balls. What are they thinking?
I didn't see today's Mets game, it being an afternoon tilt and me being a person who works at that time. I noticed from ESPN GameCast that the Mets put up a 6-spot in the 4th, with my man crush David Wright capping off the scoring with a bases-clearing double. Johan put in a decent effort, striking out 8 in 7 innings. The bullpen was scoreless, which is a good sign.
The Marlins have Luis Gonzalez. In right field! Dude has an arm like a paraplegic. In my advanced state of decrepitude, I could go first to third on him, on a line drive hit right at him, with me carrying two bowling balls. What are they thinking?
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