YOUTH HOSTILE
Former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett won his first court battle to play in the NFL prior to the league-mandated three years after his high school class graduated. U.S. District Judge Shira Scheindlin found the NFL's eligibility rule violates anti-trust laws.
After the ruling, the San Diego Chargers announced that with the first pick in the 2004 NFL Draft, they would be selecting Michelle Wie.
Teenagers in the NFL...does that mean that every player will have a cell phone on the field?
Pretty soon the players will be so young, NFL training camps will have Indian names, be located near lakes, and every year they'll hold an "Arts and Crafts Day".
Friday, February 06, 2004
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
SIC SAD WORLDTM*, VOLUME III
I apologize for posting more blogorrhea about Janet Jackson, but I couldn't help myself.
As you recall, SIC SAD WORLDTM is a feature where we take quotes from the web and post them "as found", or "sic", without further embellishment, because none is needed.
Today's installment is from Reuters:
Federal Communications Commission regulators launched an investigation amid calls for the government to take a tougher stance on regulating indecency on television.
"There's now going to be an FCC investigation into the nipple," (MTV Chief Executive Tom) Freston told reporters at a news conference.
I apologize for posting more blogorrhea about Janet Jackson, but I couldn't help myself.
As you recall, SIC SAD WORLDTM is a feature where we take quotes from the web and post them "as found", or "sic", without further embellishment, because none is needed.
Today's installment is from Reuters:
Federal Communications Commission regulators launched an investigation amid calls for the government to take a tougher stance on regulating indecency on television.
"There's now going to be an FCC investigation into the nipple," (MTV Chief Executive Tom) Freston told reporters at a news conference.
CLOSE ENOUGH FOR, WELL YOU GET THE IDEA
The 2004 Annual TCP Budget, as prepared by White House Budget Director Joshua B. Bolten (it's a little known fact that he moonlights as a web log budget director), is out. Here are the highlights:
EXPENSES
Internet Access..........................................................................$0.11
Domain Hosting..........................................................................$0.14
Talent.........................................................................................$0.00*
Total...........................................................................................$0.05
INCOME
Honoraria from think tanks..........................................................$587,000
MacArthur Genius Grants.............................................................$1,000,000
Nobel Prizes................................................................................$5,000,000
Spontaneous contributions by grateful readers..........................$23,675,753,000
Total.............................................................................................$900,000,000,000
Which should leave us about $899,999,999,999.95 in the black. I think somebody is headed to the boat show!
UPDATE: It looks like Josh might have forgotten to carry the 1 somewhere in there, or he may have possibly missed that supplemental request we'll be making after the November election to pay for a weekend in Vegas, because now he's saying there will be a projected deficit of $500,000,000,000. Oh well, easy come, easy go.
* I think he might actually be right about that one.
The 2004 Annual TCP Budget, as prepared by White House Budget Director Joshua B. Bolten (it's a little known fact that he moonlights as a web log budget director), is out. Here are the highlights:
EXPENSES
Internet Access..........................................................................$0.11
Domain Hosting..........................................................................$0.14
Talent.........................................................................................$0.00*
Total...........................................................................................$0.05
INCOME
Honoraria from think tanks..........................................................$587,000
MacArthur Genius Grants.............................................................$1,000,000
Nobel Prizes................................................................................$5,000,000
Spontaneous contributions by grateful readers..........................$23,675,753,000
Total.............................................................................................$900,000,000,000
Which should leave us about $899,999,999,999.95 in the black. I think somebody is headed to the boat show!
UPDATE: It looks like Josh might have forgotten to carry the 1 somewhere in there, or he may have possibly missed that supplemental request we'll be making after the November election to pay for a weekend in Vegas, because now he's saying there will be a projected deficit of $500,000,000,000. Oh well, easy come, easy go.
* I think he might actually be right about that one.
Monday, February 02, 2004
WEAPON OF MAMMARY DESTRUCTION
The U.S. Government mobilized today against a new, unexpected threat to national security: Janet Jackson's right breast.
"This time, we have conclusive photographic evidence," said Secretary of State Colin Powell before a special U.N. tribunal. "Clearly, Miss Jackson has been hiding active lactation munitions bunkers on her person, and thanks to Special Weapons Inspector Justin Timberlake from the N.S.Y.N.C., one of these chemical weapons stockpiles have been revealed. We must not shrink from whatever is ahead of us. I know that I certainly won't."
In a briefing with reporters at the Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld noted simply, "Goodness gracious, golly, and my stars."
French foreign minister Dominique de Villepin repudiated the Bush Administation's stance on the imminent threat in a press conference, saying, "What is the big deal? It's only a booby. We show that much in commercials."
A weapons inspections team is being hastily deployed to Houston to examine the newly uncovered evidence. A Pentagon spokesman said there were no shortage of volunteers for the mission.
The U.S. Government mobilized today against a new, unexpected threat to national security: Janet Jackson's right breast.
"This time, we have conclusive photographic evidence," said Secretary of State Colin Powell before a special U.N. tribunal. "Clearly, Miss Jackson has been hiding active lactation munitions bunkers on her person, and thanks to Special Weapons Inspector Justin Timberlake from the N.S.Y.N.C., one of these chemical weapons stockpiles have been revealed. We must not shrink from whatever is ahead of us. I know that I certainly won't."
In a briefing with reporters at the Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld noted simply, "Goodness gracious, golly, and my stars."
French foreign minister Dominique de Villepin repudiated the Bush Administation's stance on the imminent threat in a press conference, saying, "What is the big deal? It's only a booby. We show that much in commercials."
A weapons inspections team is being hastily deployed to Houston to examine the newly uncovered evidence. A Pentagon spokesman said there were no shortage of volunteers for the mission.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
BEEN GONE SO LONG
I haven't posted much lately because I was working on a task force last week, among whose most important conclusions was that I shouldn't have been assigned to the task force. The only problem with that is, I'm going to probably stay on the task force anyway, because nobody else has the time to work on it. Nothing new here.
Today is the day my beloved Patriots end their 14 game winning streak and spurn the sweet embrace of history for a dance with the greasy insurance salesman of obscurity, or something like that. They are going to lose the Super Bowl, is what I'm trying to say. I'm looking forward to the despair, the heartbreak, and the ample supply of potato chips and dip.
I should be back to my usual schedule of posting next week. Don't say you weren't warned.
I haven't posted much lately because I was working on a task force last week, among whose most important conclusions was that I shouldn't have been assigned to the task force. The only problem with that is, I'm going to probably stay on the task force anyway, because nobody else has the time to work on it. Nothing new here.
Today is the day my beloved Patriots end their 14 game winning streak and spurn the sweet embrace of history for a dance with the greasy insurance salesman of obscurity, or something like that. They are going to lose the Super Bowl, is what I'm trying to say. I'm looking forward to the despair, the heartbreak, and the ample supply of potato chips and dip.
I should be back to my usual schedule of posting next week. Don't say you weren't warned.
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