SIC SAD WORLD^TM*, VOLUME IV

You know the drill. This is from a New York Times article about two huge bridges being built in remote areas of Alaska at the behest of Alaska Republican Representative Don Young.

"I'd like to be a little oinker, myself," Mr. Young told a Republican lunch crowd here, taking mock offense at the suggestion that Ted Stevens, the Alaska Republican who is chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee, directs more pork to their state than he does. "If he's the chief porker, I'm upset."

* Not really trademarked. Kind of like how that White House memo titled "Bin Laden Determined To Strike Inside The United States" is not really about Bin Laden being determined to strike inside the United States. I think it's really about bowling.

IF IT HAPPENS, IT HAPPENS

Phil Mickelson has won the Masters.

That leaves me one closer to the top of the list of the greatest golfers never to win a major. It's only been a few hours and the pressure is getting unbearable. Get off my back, will ya!