C'EST LA GUERRE...OOPS, I MEAN...NEVER MIND



The New York Times revealed (login req'd) yesterday that the Bush re-election team will be going after leading Democratic Presidential contender Sen. John Kerry by alleging, among other things, that he "looks French". What the story failed to mention is that the Bush team has a list of other strategies for the remainder of the Democratic field.



John Edwards: "John" sounds like "Jean". Too French.

Dick Gephardt: "Dick" reminds everyone of the French love for sex.

Joe Lieberman: German name. Plus, as a bonus, he's Jewish, so he helped kill our Lord and Saviour (use last one only in the South and maybe Utah).

Howard Dean: Comes from Vermont. "Vermont" is French for Green Mountain. They must be crawling with 'em up there.

Bob Graham: Graham crackers must be French. They are used in fancy pies and stuff.

Carole Mosely Braun: Looks too much like Josephine Baker.

Dennis Kucinich: Um, been seen eating French fries. Who cares?

Al Sharpton: Right. As if we need a strategy. Our strategy is his hairdo.