PULL MY FINGER LAKES

The missus and I are traveling to Rochester, NY this weekend to attend my niece's college graduation. One of my brothers and two of my sisters will be there, and I can't decide whether to make cheeky references to Jack Benny's chauffeur or Jane Eyre's employer-turned-lover to show how witty and sophisticated I am.

Ah fuck it. I'll just tell a few fart jokes. That usually works.