SCHWARZENEGGER INAUGURATED; MILLIONS REALIZE RECALL NOT A PUBLICITY STUNT

After Austrian former bodybuilder and movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger was inaugurated as the Governor of California today, millions of stunned Californians finally came to the realization that the recall election was not in fact a massive publicity stunt tied to the release of the Terminator III - Rise Of The Machines DVD.

"Well, look at the timing," said retired seamstress Wanda Martinez. "I mean, the DVD came out a few days ago, so I just figured this was a big PR campaign. You mean he's really our Governor? O Dios mio!"

"Thank goodness this DVD mess will all be over and we can go back to good old Gray Davis tomorrow," remarked Joseph Watson, a public utility worker, before he was told. Later, after the news spread throughout the state that the action hero would in fact continue to serve out Davis' four year term, Watson shrieked, "Jesus H. Christ! We're all fucked!"

Election officials all over the state answered frantic phone calls from startled voters after it became clear that Schwarzenegger was actually the new state Chief Executive. "It ran mostly along the lines of, 'I thought the whole thing was a huge marketing gimmick', and "what have we done?'," said Contra Costa County Clerk Leo Ongais. "A few people called to see if we were selling the DVD here at the Clerk's office."

The Terminator III - Rise Of The Machines DVD comes with commentary by the director and actors, including Schwarzenegger, an HBO Behind The Scenes documentary, trailers, and a storyboard gallery, but unfortunately, no plan for reversing the projected $60 billion California state deficit. "I mean it, we are seriously fucked," added Watson.