FAITHLESS

It's been two weeks, time for a blog entry.

I've been listening to the Stewart O'Nan/Stephen King book "Faithful" on my iPod at the gym lately, and I've decided to try the same thing with the Phillies. Like O'Nan, I come late to this particular baseball affliction, but unlike King I don't happen to possess second row behind-the-dugout seats. Alas. We'll see how it goes.

The Phillies aren't nearly as loveable as the Bosox nor do they have quite the same tortured history nor do their fans suffer the same blind devotion. The Phillies just suck, and have for a couple of decades, and for many more decades before that. Phillies fans resign themselves to mediocrity in mid-February, and content themselves with Harry Kalas' lug-ub-ri-ous de-liv-er-y while they fritter away the summer down the shore. The Fightins are mere props in the long running touring company production of an inferiority complex that is life in and around Philadelphia. There are no expectations placed on the Phillies, aside from never having enough good players. They rarely even make the post-season, which deprives the Phillies fan of the Oresteian epics with the Yankees that Boston fans must endure. Mostly, Phillies fans like the Phillies because we like being able to complain. It's what we do.

The 2005 edition of the Phils once again will labor in the shadow of the Atlanta Braves, NL East Division winners every year since the divisions were trisected and a full season was played, in 1995. The Braves were once the plaything of Ted Turner, a Steinbrennerian media mogul with an unlimited wallet and the competitive nature of Karl Rove down 10 points in the polls. Ted eventually sold out to Time Warner who merged with AOL. The corporate suits have been threatening a drastic payroll reduction for the last few years, but the Braves have always been able to piece together a winner due to the steady management of GM John Schuerholz, Manager Bobby Cox and Pitching Coach Leo Mazzone. Atlanta is in every way a model franchise. God, how I hate them. Their fans are a bunch of assholes, too. Every time I see that Tomahawk Chop, I suddenly become an activist for Native American rights. And there isn't enough space in the known universe for me to fully explain my loathing for Chipper Jones.

The rest of the division has gaping flaws. The Mets picked up Pedro Martinez and Carlos Beltran in the free-agent market, but they have no bullpen, and Mike Piazza is a liability behind the plate. The Marlins have a loaded lineup and great pitching, but you never know with them. They look terrible in April and win the World Series, and then they look great and finish below .500. It has to take a lot out of a team to play in the Miami heat all summer before a half-empty stadium. Then again, they do have two rings in the last 8 years. The Nationals are a disgrace. Major League Baseball has been holding them in escrow for the last three years while they search for a permanent owner, they've been moved to an abandoned football/soccer stadium in a city that is 90% African-American during a period when baseball has done nothing to attract minorities, and on top of all that, they have no decent players. They should be lucky to avoid 100 losses, but somehow, they'll win the season series from Philadelphia anyway.

The Phillies stumbled through Spring Training this year with a record of 11-18, second to last in the Grapefruit League. The pitching was the biggest shortcoming. Vicente Padilla missed the whole spring and will be sidelined for several weeks of the regular season, and none of the other starters impressed. The team Spring ERA of 5.85 won't translate well up North. The main controversy in the Spring was what to do with young Ryan Howard. Howard can clearly hit for power, but as a natural first baseman, he will never supplant superstar Jim Thome. The Phils had him play some innings in left field, but had it been a medical trial it would have been cut short due to imminent danger to life and health of the test subject. GM Ed Wade finally decided to park Howard in Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes Barre until an injury forces him into the lineup or until some AL team in need of a DH offers something useful. Howard demanded a trade, which Wade laughed aside while pointing to the Major League Baseball Players Association labor agreement, subpart: "Players with less than six years major league service".

Citizens Bank Park, the Phils' still-sparkly newish home, hosted the season opener. New Philly ace Jon Lieber took on Washington, scattering 10 hits (he's like the Johnny Appleseed of hits!) in an 8-4 win over Livan Hernandez. Phils center fielder Kenny Lofton, another new addition, broke open the game with a line-drive three-run homer in the bottom of the fifth. I guess he is better than Marlon Byrd.

The Nats took the final two games of the series by victimizing the Phillies bullpen. Game two was a 3-2 nailbiter in the 8th until Charlie Manuel handed the ball to Tim Worrell. Four hits and four runs later, DC led 6-3 and tacked on another against Terry Adams to win it 7-3. Worrell struck again in Game Three, giving up the tying run in the 8th while Frenchy Cormier allowed the game-winner in the 10th. They better figure this out soon, or, boy we will be complaining a lot.

On the road to St. Louis we go. The defending NL champs have an offense that Mike Martz would be proud of, but only so-so pitching, which the Phils tore into fairly quickly. They built a 5-1 lead over newcomer Mark Mulder, only to blow it in the - you guessed it - 8th inning. Ryan Madson did the honors this time, with some help from lefty Aaron Fultz, who walked Albert Pujols with the bases loaded for the go-ahead run. Yikes.

Games two and three of the Cardinal series started to make me feel a little better. Both were blowouts, 10-4 and 13-4. Pat Burrell is hotter than an authorized Paris Hilton sex video. After the St. Louis series, he has 15 RBI. Nobody else has 10. The next stop is Florida, though. Those guys drive us crazy.

Brett Myers took on Al Leiter last night in game one. I caught this one mostly from the beginning on Comcast Sportsnet. This is as good a time as any to mention the TV coverage for what won't be the last time. The Phils air on cable on Comcast Sportsnet, which is sort of a local version of ESPN, and less frequently, on the local UPN station. Sportsnet is part of the huge-o-mongus Comcast cable/high speed internet/sports franchise empire. Comcast also owns the 76ers and Flyers in addition to the arena they play in. They also host this web site, so if I say anything bad about them, they may (deleted). In any event, Comcast pretty much runs sports and sports coverage in this town. They even refuse to give their signal to DirecTV and Dish Network so that you have to subscribe to cable to watch the Phillies. (Deleted). Hey! Whatever. In general, the coverage is pretty good. Harry Kalas' voice alone usually makes it worth watching. Harry been getting kind of full himself, though, since he was inducted into the broadcasters wing of the Baseball Hall-of-Fame. He hired an agent and demanded to not have to work with color man Chris Wheeler before they finally gave him some more money last year. Actually, I can't blame him for not wanting to work with that whiny loser Wheels. Larry Andersen, an old southpaw reliever who has fashioned himself into the Steven Wright of baseball announcers, rounds out the TV crew.

Anyway, the game. Burrell did it again in the top of the first, launching an upper deck shot over the Teal Monster (oh, please) to make it 2-0. Pat promptly gave a run back in the bottom of the first by dropping a fly ball to allow Carlos Delgado to score. Leiter infuriated everyone with 3-2 counts for the next four innnings, giving up another run before they started running out of baseballs and the Marlins had to pull him. The Delgado run turned out to be it for the Fish as Brett Myers and a newly non-incendiary bullpen blanked Florida for the rest of the evening for a 4-1 win. I don't know about Billy Wagner yet. He's throwing hard, but he looks a lot more hittable. Maybe I'm overreacting. He said he wants to retire after this season if the Phillies win it all. I'm not even remotely concerned with the Phillies winning it all, but you hate to hear a guy utter the "R" word, especially in March or April.

We're 4-3, with two more in Dade County before heading home to play the Atlanta Evil Spawn. Wolfie's going tonight.