A.B.B. 20

I think I have that right. It's been a while since I did an A.B.B., and not much has happened...har! It's about two hours before I have to go to bed, and I have nothing else to do, so let's have a look at the race. Wow, 20 days. Freaking unbelievable.

BARACK OBAMA

I think he's gonna win. I will probably blow it for him by publishing this, but he's successfully navigated the Scylla, Charybdis, and whatever the third debate can be compared to (the Santa Maria?), and he didn't start foaming at the mouth or chanting Koran verses, so he's the man to beat. Everybody in the media is trotting out the Bradley Effect, which was specious to begin with, and saying that white people will get the willies when they hit the voting booth, but I'm not buying it. I sure didn't get even one willy (willie?), and trust me, I am very, very white - almost ghostly. I can't believe he's ahead in Ohio AND Florida, and he might even have a shot in West By Gosh Virginia ("Almost Heavin'") , as my friend and former Mountaineer Stater Ziggy liked to say.

JOHN MCCAIN

Poor John. He's not a bad guy, and he's got a great sense of humor, but events have overtaken him. He was revealed as the incompetent leader he is when he a) picked Sarah "The Moose Whisperer" Palin as his running mate, and b) called a time-out (and ducked David Letterman) when the banking system tanked. Either or perhaps both of those choices will go down in history, like Michael Dukakis' snoopy helmet, as the turning point in what might have been a winning effort. I'm sorry, John. Go back to the Senate, and keep up that maverick spirit. And stay out of the Arizona sun, for crying out loud, you with the 47 melanomas.

Sarah, my dear, you should go back to Alaska and not come back until you're fully baked.

There you have it. Barring an October/very early November surprise (and you know the GOP will try their damnedest), that's it for A.B.B. I'll be back on November 5th, or whenever the Republican lawyers give up the fight (God forbid), to proclaim who the Anybody is.