CHECK-MET

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. If you're going to swing at the first pitch, swing! Oh, well. You can't complain too much. We'd be swimming with the Devil Rays without Abreu.

The Phils dropped the game, 4-3, and the series, 2-1, to the recently foundering Metsies yesterday afternoon at the Park. Cory Lidle had another workmanlike effort, where he pitched his usual six-plus innings and gave up his usual four runs. Typically, the Phillies bats have been enough to win these kinds of games, especially at home, but yesterday they couldn't solve the normally very solvable Kaz Ishii. Kaz picked up only his second win of the season mainly by stymieing the big two, Abreu and Burrell. Thome took him deep, but neither Bobby nor Pat nor anyone else for that matter was on base at the time. Jason Michaels had a nice game, getting three hits and keeping the game alive in the ninth for Abreu to ultimately end it with his feeble check swing bouncer to the mound. Braden Looper saved it for New York, and despite what the WFAN idiots have been whining about, he's done a pretty good job, certainly against us.

Once again, Phillies pitchers could not manage to keep Jose Reyes off the bases. The Mets shortstop went 3-for-5 with a run scored and stole three bases. Is it bad execution of the game plan, or just a lack of a game plan? How can you give Reyes anything good to hit when he obviously will swing at anything? If there was one key to why we lost this series, Reyes' anomalous success may be it.

The Phillies fell to 13-20 vs. the NL East. Obviously, there will be no October baseball in Philadelphia if that winning percentage keeps up. The Spawn were blanked by Florida and T.F.N. were off, putting the division deficit to 3.5 games and leaving the wild card lead at a half-game. The Faithless meet the Faithful tonight as the World Champion Boston Red Sox drop by for the first of three. The Champs have won four straight, and nine of ten, although five of those nine wins came at home against the imploding Reds and the perpetually rebuilding Pirates. Knuckleballer Tim Wakefield takes on Jon Lieber in the opener. Now, for those going to the game, the Phillies fans seats are in the upper deck, last three rows. Try to not to disturb the Red Sox fans. They've paid good money for those tickets, and they've traveled all this way. Even when they start up with the "NINE-TEEN EIGHTY" chants, just look the other way.

AARON GO BOOM

I was right about the low run total, until Aaron Heilman came in. Up to that point, Robbie Tejeda had gone six innings only allowing one run, and Victor Zambrano had only allowed two runs. Ryan Madson had given up the tying run the top of the 7th to make it 2-2. Heilman is sort of Ryan Madson's opposite number on the Mets. Mets fans are clamoring to get him in the rotation, and he has a similar build and pitching style. Lefthander Royce Ring (not his porn name, as far as we know) started the bottom of the 7th by striking out Abreu and walking Thome. With the righthanded Pat Burrell coming up, Willie Randolph brought in Heilman. Then, basically, all hell broke loose. Heilman hit Burrell with his first pitch, allowed an RBI single to Chase Utley, struck out David Bell, allowed another RBI single to Mike Lieberthal, gave up an infield single to Jason Michaels, wild pitched in a run, and walked Jimmy Rollins. Now with three lefthanded hitters due up, Randolph mercifully pulled Heilman and inserted Korean lefty Dae-Sung Koo. Kenny Lofton timed a few fastballs and then slapped a double down the left field line to clear the bases to give the Phillies an 8-2 lead. Final numbers on Heilman: 1/3 IP, 3H, 5ER, 1BB. Omar Minaya will be accepting apologies from Mets fans on "Mike and the Mad Dog" later today.

Oogie started the 8th and had another rough outing, allowing a 2-run homer to Mike Piazza with two outs. When does Tim Worrell get back? Just kidding. Daddy Wags finished off the Mets in the 9th for a non-save and the 8-4 final.

You know, if Yukon Cornelius were allowed to only play the Phillies for 162 games a year, we'd be speculating about the size of his head and what he told the grand jury in the BALCO case. He hit roughly his 578th home run against the Phils last night, off Tejeda, who has pitched over 16 innings as a starter this year without allowing a run to anybody else.

It's a Lost Productivity Special at Citizens Bank Park this afternoon as Kaz "O-Ren" Ishii takes on Cory Lidle in the rubber game (The Rubber Game, starring Royce Ring!) of the series. Do you even have to ask if Washington and Atlanta won last night? The wild card lead is still a half-game, and the division deficit is still three games. In other news, Wolfie's third opinion was also to get cut, making it nearly certain that he will have the surgery and be out for a minimum of 14 months. Looks like a spot opened up on my Strat team for next season. Meanwhile down in Clearwater, Cole Hamels returned from breaking his hand in a bar fight to strike out eight and walk two in five dominating innings Tuesday. According to the Inquirer, Assistant GM Mike Arbuckle wants to get him 100 innings at A and AA, but if Tejeda craters, Padilla continues to miss starts, Floyd doesn't get it together, and Wade can't swing a deadline deal (if?) the Phils may have no option but to bring him up. Cole, if you must hang out down on South Street, lead with your right hand.

NEW YORK WIN IT

Of course I meant the Phils were off on Monday. Unfortunately, they played last night, and not well. Brett Myers was uncharacteristically atrocious, and all the usual Mets suspects (Yukon Cornelius, Piazza, Minky, Victor "Who Dat" Diaz) contributed to an 8-5 drubbing. Oogie turned a 1-run game into a 3-run game about as quickly as a Tom Cruise romance by giving up homers to Mientkiewicz and, of all people, Brian Daubach in a dismal 8th inning of "relief". The only highlight for the Phillies was their barely insufficient comeback from an early 5-1 deficit, which itself was highlighted by reliever Aaron Fultz's base hit and subsequent head first dive into home plate.

I think the most egregious example of Myers' and the bullpen's awfulness last night was their allowing leadoff mangler Jose Reyes, who entered the night with a .271 OBP, to reach base three times. He eventually scored twice, and was generally in the middle of every Mets rally. If Willie Randolph is going to put such an offensive liability in the no. 1 spot, you have to take advantage.

While T.F.N. also lost, the Atlanta Evil Spawn (A.E.S.?) won, tightening up the wild card race to a half-game. Robbie Tejeda tries to extend his unscored-upon streak as a starter tonight against Victor Zambrano. Zambrano has a 2.49 ERA in the month of June with no home runs allowed. I'd have to bet the under on this one.

LAST DANCE

The Phils are off today, so it's back to my usual off-season dreck.

Former Klansman Edgar Ray Killen was convicted of manslaughter today in Philadelphia, MS for the 1964 killing of three civil rights workers.

All I know is, this can't be helping Six Flags.

COASTAL EROSION

The weekend series with the A's was a chance wasted to pick up some ground on T.F.N. On Friday night, the Phils were more or less back to their home selves, chasing Barry Zito with a five-run seventh and coasting to a 6-1 victory behind the once-again stellar pitching of Robbie Tejeda and the lower rungs of the bullpen. On Saturday, though, they ran themselves out of several run-scoring opportunities en route to a 2-1 loss, and blew a 2-1 lead in the sixth on Sunday to lose 5-2. Jon Lieber lost the Sunday game, and continues to disappoint. He's not keeping the ball down consistently, and he gives up way too many homers. Did somebody just give Kevin Millwood a haircut and a shave and sew Lieber's name on his uniform?

Washington didn't fare much better on their West Coaster, going 3-3, but it was enough to extend their lead from 1.5 to 2.5 games. The Phils returned home last night and will face the Mets starting tomorrow, followed by, for some unknown reason, the Boston Red Sox. T.F.N. play the relentlessly mediocre Pittsburgh Pirates in Pittsburgh starting tonight before heading home to play their erstwhile Canadian rivals the Blue Jays. It looks like we're just going to have to beat Washington ourselves, much like we couldn't do for lo those many years against the Braves.

I hate to mention it this early, but we still maintain a 1.5 game lead over the Atlanta Evil Spawn for the N.L. wild card. While it's not the most advantageous place from which to embark on a playoff journey, the wild card has been popular recently for World Series champs. We'll definitely take it if we can get it.

The Blue Rocks were giving away Johnny Damon bobblehead dolls on Friday, but we arrived far too late to get one. Due to the crowd for the promotion, we ended up sitting in the upper boxes behind home plate, in the middle of a row of a mostly full section, uncomfortably wedged between an incredibly fidgety corporate outing in front of us, two 250-lb. guys who liked to spread themselves out to my right, a family with incessantly yapping teenagers behind us, and some people to my wife's left who didn't bother us but who we still wished weren't there so we'd have some room. The night was also kind of a downer because the Rocks' longtime PA announcer, Johnny McAdams, had passed away the night before. In addition to doing Blue Rocks' games, Johnny Mac was the PA voice of the Palestra, and he's the only PA announcer I've ever known at Frawley Stadium. They played the entire game without any public address during the game in his honor. Johnny Mac's voice was a rich baritone, as smooth as any I've ever heard at a big-league park. I'll especially miss "8 o'clock, Bulova Watch Time" and his signature call of the "The Wilmington Blue Rocks aaaaaaaaaaaand friends" at the beginning of the game when each of the Blue Rocks take their position with a kid from some local little league team. Thanks for everything, Johnny Mac, you'll be dearly missed.

EXTRA WINNINGS

Props to all of you who stayed up to watch the Phils 13-inning 3-2 win on the West Coast on a Thursday night, with "props" in this case meaning "Are you clinically insane?" But hey, a win is a win, any way you can get it. J-Roll kept the contract honeymoon period going with five hits and the winning run-scored. The bullpen, excepting Frenchie, was superb. Even Geoff Geary managed to pick up a win with two hitless innings.

T.F.N. (now with periods!) were off last night, meaning the Phillies deficit is now 2.5 games. Tonight's game is at McAfee Coliseum in Oakland. During the 7th inning stretch, the Jumbotron gets it's virus protection updated and reboots itself. It's quite a party atmosphere. Robbie Tejeda fills in for Wolfie for the first and possibly the last time against his Phan-hoped-for successor, Barry Zito. Zito's presence would certainly raise the attendance of South Philly's single female population at Citizens Bank Park, but I'm not sure what else good it would do. Besides, the surf off the Jersey Shore leaves a lot to be desired, and we already have more mediocre Italian-American singer/guitar players than we need (see Bon Jovi, Jon).

Speaking of McAfee Coliseum (motto: W32/Sober.p@MM is a low profiled virus. Would you like more information?), yours truly will be there in person on Thursday, June 30th, to take in an Athletics/Mariners day game My wife and I are taking a much anticipated vacation to the Bay Area starting next Saturday (maybe just in time for The Big One). Had I bothered to check a schedule, I would have tried to convince my wife to take the trip two weeks earlier. Of course, today is her birthday, and I'm not sure she would want to spend it watching the Phillies in Oakland. I probably made the right call.

We are watching some baseball on her birthday: the Wilmington Blue Rocks. Love that Mr. Celery.

COFFEE TALK

The Phillies leave town and turn back into...the Phillies. After another wretched offensive performance, the Phils find themselves three games back of TFN (see yesterday's post). Padilla allowed a leadoff homer to Mr. Overrated, and gave up what proved to be the winning run later in the first inning mainly because of a ball hit by Richie Sexson that Bobby Abreu so often has trouble with, a deep fly right at the wall. Bobby can never seem to figure out how to feel where the wall is while keeping his eyes on the baseball and then leap at just the right moment and in the right direction. Like last night, he always ends up distancing himself from the fence a few feet and making a desperate lunge in the general direction of the ball, seemingly with his eyes closed. You can understand his desire to protect his multi-million dollar body from crashing into a concrete barrier, but somebody has got to teach him how to make that play. It clanked off his glove for a double, sending Raul Ibanez to third, where he later scored on a Jeremy Reed sac fly. Padilla gave up another homer, to Randy Winn, and the M's tacked on the final two on a Mike Morse homer off Ryan Madson in the 8th for a 5-1 final.

Meanwhile, Ryan Drese, whom the Phillies clobbered so badly last week that he was put on waivers, combined with Chad Cordero for a 4-hit shutout of the Angels. TFN, indeed. We absolutely must win tonight's series finale. Brett Myers faces the awful-so-far Joel Pineiro. No more jet-lag or too many Double Ristretto Venti Nonfat Organic Chocolate Brownie Frappuccino Extra Hot with Foam and Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended* excuses. We need this one, guys.

*actual longest possible Starbucks order, as documented on the Internet, so it must be true.

(TOO) LATE SHOW

I hate West Coast swings. Stewart O'Nan, who co-wrote "Faithful" about last year's Red Sox, wrote proudly of staying up until 2 AM on work nights to watch the Old Town Team play Anaheim, Oakland and Seattle. It ain't happening here. I need about 10 hours sleep a night and usually only get seven or eight, and I'm not about to reduce that to 3 or 4 for the sake of this pissant blog. Maybe if Stephen King was co-writing and I had a big advance in my pocket, but that ain't happening either. As it was, the Phils scratched out three hits against the immortal Gil Meche and lost 3-1. Meanwhile, Those F*cking Nationals (trademark pending) won in Anaheim to extend their division lead to two games.

Randy Wolf is headed to Tommy John Country. Maybe he can borrow one of Octavio Dotel's "exceptionally long leg tendons". Both guys are on my Strat team, so you'd think one would help the other. Jeesh. Just when it looked like everything was sunny, a tornado rips off the roof.

The Padilla Flotilla sails tonight against former Red Sock Aaron Sele. Those F*cking Nationals have Rangers' castoff Ryan Drese facing Angels ace Bartolo Colon, so if we can get the bats going again, maybe we can get back to within a game.

My take on the J-Roll signing: Whatever. There isn't anything better in the Phillies price range at shortstop, and as others have noted, Jimmy appears to be at least consistently mediocre at the plate, and pretty good defensively, making the signing very low risk. Unless the Phils have designs on breaking the bank for a Tejada or a Jeter or (I just heard Dave Montgomery's aorta constrict all the way from here) an A-Rod, which is about as likely as J-Roll achieving a .900 OPS, they might as well lock him up. $8 million a year is chump change for a franchise swimming in Citizens Bank Park cash.

NEW ZOO REVUE

The Nationals lost. Finally! The start of their inevitable decline has begun.

Wolfie's hurt. Once again, it's the elbow that disabled him last year for the last month of the season. Robbie Tejeda will step in, but Wade had better get on the phone to move Ryan Howard for an arm, preferably one attached to a starting pitcher (you have to spell these things out for Ed). As with Oogie, even if it's not precisely the guy you want, you may prevent one of the other NL East teams from getting precisely who they want.

Let's talk Ichiro for a bit. I love to watch the guy, but the Wikipedia entry for overrated needs to have his photo. Maybe I'll do that later today, just to see how long it lasts. I love the Internet. Back to Ichiro. His VORP for the last three full seasons and so far in 2005 are listed below:

Year	VORP	Rank Among Right Fielders	Rank Overall
2002	44.6	8th	56th
2003	39.3	12th	70th
2004	80.9	4th	9th
2005	12.8	12th	90th

Compare that to Bobby Abreu:

Year	VORP	Rank Among Right Fielders	Rank Overall
2002	70.4	3rd	18th
2003	53.3	4th	34th
2004	83.8	2nd	7th
2005	39.9	1st	3rd

Now, who should really be getting a ZOOperstar? Bobby outperformed Ichiro in each year of this comparison, often by an embarrassing amount, and yet Ichiro gets to wear his first name on his jersey, gets followed around by a horde of press, and is celebrated wherever he goes. They're both foreign and can barely speak English. Neither one is particularly eloquent in their native language, as far as I can tell. Bobby even had a Miss Universe girlfriend before she cheated on him on Venezuelan reality TV. So what's the deal? Ok, Ichiro has a (insert gun cliche here) for an arm, and he's often spectacular in the field while Bobby sometimes looks slightly inebriated, but still, this comparison is almost laughable in terms of who helps his team win more. And as the PTI guys like to quote Herm Edwards, "We play to win the game."

The ZOOperstars would like to welcome Bobby Crab-reu!

WIE ARE THE WORLD

Just a few quick words. Very, very busy today.

The Phils completed yet another series sweep. The Brewers went down by scores of 5-2 on a David Bell bell-ringer in the 9th, 7-5 behind a strong Randy Wolf outing and some late power from Mr. Burrell, and 6-2 on Cory Lidle's sixth win. I'm not sure what else can be said. This is a team playing at the highest level right now, at least offensively. The damn Nationals are really starting to piss me off. While we win 12 of 13, they win 10 straight. F*ck those rat bastards. I'll say it one more time: they have to collapse eventually. Whimper.

Non-baseball-wise, I saw Michelle Wie on Saturday down at Bulle Rock. She can play a little. I saw her back up a wedge shot on #2 about 15 feet to within a foot of the cup. I've only ever seen male players do that before. She made Julie Inskter stop flapping her yap about Michelle's sponsor exemption by finishing second to Annika. Michelle doesn't quite have Annika's machine-like approach yet, but she has 19 more years to catch up. She's also way too timid at this point. She laid up on #2 from only 205 yards out, which is about a 4 iron for her. Of course, she stuck the wedge on her third shot, so what do I know.

We also caught Judith Owen down in Wilmington at the Clifford Brown Jazz Festival at Rodney Square on Sunday. She wasn't really in her element, but it was a good time nonetheless. It had to be difficult for a freckly-faced Welsh girl to try to win over a bunch of hot, sweaty, mostly small-city jazz enthusiasts with her brand of piano-driven pop music. They had a beautiful grand piano set up for her, which she gratefully acknowledged, and she had her bassist from the Tin Angel show playing stand-up bass as accompaniment. She mostly reprised the Tin Angel show, although it was significantly shorter due to her cross-country travel arrangements, or so she said. I bought her CD and got her to sign it for me this time. She urged me to come to her next area show at World Cafe Live in Philly. That's a fantastic venue. I hope she brings Harry along.

TEXAS SWEEP 'EM

I've been spending most of the last 12 hours berating myself for being so far off on last night's final score. How could I have predicted 10-9? What was I thinking?

So, it was 10-8. Oh well. Nobody's perfect. The Rangers bats did in fact come to life. Dellucci led off the game with a dinger, and Teixeira hit two. Even Mark De Rosa got in on the fun. Fortunately, we kept hitting our singles, doubles and a triple in addition to two homers from Burrell, and one each from Pratt and Thome. Padilla struggled again, and Urbina was horrendous, but Geary and Cormier chipped in some good innings for a change, and Wags did his thing. Ho-hum, another series sweep.

I thought the beanball incidents were handled well by Jerry Crawford. Padilla may or may not have been throwing at Teixeira, who had already taken him deep twice, but to issue a warning to both benches at that point would have deprived the Rangers their opportunity to retaliate in kind. As it was, Michael Tejera plunked Abreu in the arm, the warnings were issued, and the situation was defused. Too many times I've seen the warnings go out after the first hit batsman, and the aggrieved party ends up exacting revenge with a hard takeout slide or a plate collision, which only escalates the potential for injury, or they carry over the dispute to the next game or even a series several months later. Of course, the latter can't happen between these two teams, but I still think it's better to let the players police themselves whenever possible.

The Brew Crew round out the 13 game home stand, starting with Brett Myers vs. Victor Santos. Santos has received deplorable run support lately. In five of his last six starts, the Brewers have scored 2, 0, 2, 1 and 1 runs, losing each game. The only win among those losses was against the putrid Colorado Rockies. Let's hope Milwaukee keeps it going. Wolfie takes on fellow lefty Doug Davis on Saturday, and Lidle faces Big Bad Ben Sheets on Sunday afternoon.

I'll be at Bulle Rock in Maryland to check out the LPGA tournament this weekend. I attended annually when it was at the DuPont Country Club in Wilmington, and Michelle Wie is playing, so I don't want to miss that. We'll also we seeing the wondrous Judith Owen again, this time for free at Rodney Square in Wilmington on Sunday. I won't be able to watch it, but I'll be rooting for Afleet Alex in the Belmont. I think they're still playing the NBA Finals, too, although ABC would just as soon show repeats of "Desperate Housewives", or even "According To Jim" at this point.

U-R-B-I-N-A SPELLS RELIEF

I'm kind of busy today so I'll make it quick. Nice trade, Ed. No, I actually mean it. I give it an A-. Ugie nicely fills our biggest hole, Utley will be playing full time, and we got a bench player to replace Polanco. Now, if Ed had managed to get a bench player who could hit, the deal would be an A+, but we can't always get what we want. Ramon Martinez will suffice for now, unless one of our starters gets hurt. But that's what Ryan Howard is for.

Great 2-0 win last night, as well. I had a feeling Tejeda would be good, but five shutout innings blew away all expectations. As with most Wednesdays, I missed the bulk of this game. It doesn't look like much happened. I see Madson and Wags threw another three innings. Hope you got a good night sleep at Abreu's house last night, Ugie.

We're now in second all alone after losses by New York and Atlanta. Padilla takes on Astacio tonight as we go for the sweep. Look for the Rangers bats to awaken. This could be a 10-9 game. Come on Oakland, show some professionalism and beat the Nationals!

THEY DON'T LIKE MIKE

The Rangers had their fun last night, belting three impressive-looking homers, but the Phils' steady samba beat of singles and doubles (and one Abreu blast) allowed them to prevail by an 8-5 score. The Phillies jumped out to an early 2-0 lead in the second. Thome lashed a hard single to center, and Utley drove a double into right field to put runners on second and third. Polanco followed with a liner that tipped off losing starter Ryan Drese's glove, which SS Michael Young tried unsuccessfully to barehand. The ball ended up in short left field, scoring Thome and Utley. Lieberthal reached on an infield hit to second base, and after Lieber whiffed on 3 bunt attempts, Rollins skied one to right center. Lieby forgot that there was only one out and was doubled off. This started a night of Lieberthal-hating that has seemingly been pent up in Phillies fans. I'm not sure exactly why. As someone has noted, Lieby is second in the NL in catcher VORP, or Value Over Replacement Player, which is a cumulative measure of the value of a given player relative to a "replacement-level" player at that position, who is essentially someone you could sign off waivers or out of Triple-A. What it means is, we can't really do much better.

The Phillies added more in the 3rd, on singles by Abreu and Burrell, a walk to Thome, a fielder's choice by Utley, and a single by Polanco. Buck Showalter, once derisively referred to as "the guy who invented the game" by Ozzie Guillen, decided to pitch to Lieberthal instead of putting him on to face Lieber. Lieberthal responded against new pitcher Joaquin Benoit with a two-out hit to score the third run of the inning to make it 5-0. Then the Rangers woke up. In the fourth, Hank Blalock hit a laser beam into the right field stands with a man on, and after a Kevin Mench walk, catcher Rod Barajas homered deep to left center beyond the 385 sign on a Lieber crush-me slider to make it 5-4.

Benoit retired the final 10 hitters to face him before he was relieved by lefty Ron Mahay after a curious move in the top of the 7th. Alfonso Soriano, who had been held out of the lineup with a bad hammy, pinch-hit for Benoit and singled, and Showalter brought in Mahay, his next relief pitcher, to pinch run. I don't think I've ever seen that in all my years of watching baseball. Maybe Buck did invent the game. Mahay was quickly forced at second to end the inning, and then only retired one of the six batters he faced in the bottom of the inning to help give the Phils a four-run cushion. It could have been more but wasn't thanks to boo-magnet Lieberthal, who hit a weak tapper to the mound with the bases loaded. Everybody's second favorite object of derision, Charlie Manuel, then heard it from the crowd when he let Rheal Cormier (third favorite, if you're counting) hit for himself with the bases still loaded and the lead only 8-4. Frenchie weakly struck out, of course, drawing more vitriol from the crowd. I'd hate to hear what it would have been like if we were losing.

As if to validate the catcalls, Cormier went out to start the 8th and gave up an instant home run to Michael Young which barely left the ground. He got the next two batters before Ryan Madson finished off Kevin Mench. Wags walked Mark De Rosa with two outs in the ninth, but struck out Andres Torres to preserve his 15th save.

Everybody else in the NL East won except for Florida, which dropped them into last place by a full game behind us. As I mentioned yesterday, tonight's game looks like a strategic give-away. Instead of pushing Myers to pitch on 3 days rest, we're throwing Robbie Tejeda. It'll be a good test of the roll we're on if we can somehow scrape out a win. Who knows, maybe Tejeda has what Gavin Floyd didn't. He was 2-0 with a 2.22 ERA in 5 starts at S/WB.

RANGERS IN THE NIGHT

Back in last place, and it only took one loss. This is going to be an emotionally draining summer.

Cory Lidle was pounded hard and early by the D'Backs, who put up seven runs in the first two innings. I was forced to watch most of it on the ESPN.com GameCast. Those little blinking dots are no substitute for Harry Kalas, but one does what one must. Lidle made it through three innings before Geoff "White Flag" Geary came in. He allowed a homer to Jose Cruz, Jr.in the 5th, and his successor Aaron Fultz gave up what would be the deciding runs in the 7th, the last of which was driven in by relief pitcher Lance Cormier, who is no relation to Rheal nor would he want to claim to be right now. To their credit, the Phils battled back into the game, scoring three in the fifth on a Burrell double and an Utley sac fly, and four more in the bottom of the ninth on a Rollins double, and singles by Lofton and Utley. Last-man-off-the-bench Todd Pratt left the tying runs on base by succumbing to a 2-2 fastball from Javier Lopez to leave the final score at 10-8. This leaves us at 30-28, tied with Florida at 1.5 behind the confounding Nationals, who have to tank pretty soon, don't they? Please? If I keep saying it, it has to happen.

Interleague plays beckons again. We get the AL West this year, starting tonight with the frightening lumber of the Texas Rangers. It sure would be nice to see the "keep the ball down" Jon Lieber we were promised when he was signed. Otherwise, there could be some sore arms in the bleachers from throwing all those home run balls back. The Rangers have four players (Soriano, Texiera, Hidalgo, and Mench) in double figures in HR's, with Hank Blalock and platoon outfielder Dave Dellucci sitting at nine. It looks like we're going to avoid the methusalan Kenny Rogers and his sub-2.00 ERA, but we will see the 6'10" Princeton grad Chris Young, who is sporting a 3.02 ERA and a 5-2 record, in game 2. That game looks like a sacrificial lamb, since we have Robbie Tejeda making his first major league start, occasioned by the rainout Friday night. Sorry about that. Padilla goes to the hill in game 3 against Pedro Astacio, who I seem to recall gives us fits from his days as a Met (well, not fits necessarily, but he did beat us twice in 2002).

Somebody beat the Nats!

SNAKE CHARMING

It did continue to rain on Friday, but Padilla took his turn anyway. The D'Backs are only in town this one time, so the teams and the league were forced to schedule a twi-night twin bill on Saturday. Vicente gave up an early run on a Tony Clark homer in the second. As Paris Hilton would say, he's hot. George Steinbrenner is asking, "Where was that in the ALCS last year?" Abreu answered in the third with a two-run shot off Javier Vazquez, who Steinbrenner saw pitch a lot like this last year. The Phils exploded for six runs in the fourth on, among many other hits, Abreu's second homer of the game, effectively putting the game away if not for the continued entertainment value provided by the bullpen. Robbie Tejeda is looking more Adams-like every time out. The Snakes had the tying run at the plate at one one point before Frenchie Cormier got Jose Cruz. Jr. to ground into a rally killing DP to end the 8th. The game 1 final was 10-6, with Jim Thome adding an upper deck homer and Lieberthal singling in a run to complete the Phillies scoring.

The nightcap pitted ace Brett Myers vs. Russ Ortiz, a guy who normally takes four hours to pitch a game, walks about 15, and somehow manages to beat the Phillies almost every time. It goes to the strength of the roll the Phils are on that none of that happened. Maybe it's because Ortiz is not a Brave anymore. The D'Backs got on the board early again on a Luis Gonzalez RBI single. Myers was laboring, looking very Ortiz-like, but he was able to strike out Troy Glaus, and then, after a wild pitch and a Shawn Green walk, Jose Cruz, Jr. and Chad Tracy to wriggle out of the bases-loaded predicament. The Phils tied it on only one hit, a single to center by Polanco after a leadoff walk by Lofton (Rollins was being rested). A couple of fielders choice's later, the game was even at 1-1.

Both pitchers settled down until the 5th, when Alex Cintron and Luis Gonzalez hit back-to-back solo homers off Myers. Myers was out of gas after six, so Charlie Manuel sent up Endy Chavez to hit for him to lead off the bottom of the sixth trailing 3-1. Ortiz was still in there, having retired 15 straight, and more amazingly, walking none since the first inning. Chavez started off the inning with a single, and then scored on Kenny Lofton's triple on one hop off the 365 sign in left center. Placido Polanco even more amazingly, followed with a go-ahead homer, only his second of the year, and suddenly, it was 4-3 Phils. Ryan Madson, who had been spared any game 1 duty, barely, came on to pitch two scoreless innings, and just to prove the first homer wasn't a fluke, Polanco hit another one, this time off the Javier Lopez who didn't use to demoralize us in Atlanta. Billy Wagner came on in the 9th, and the D'Backs killed their own rally by trying a double steal with two outs. Todd Pratt fired to second to get the trail runner Luis Gonzalez by five feet. Thank you very much. The final was 5-3, completing the doubleheader sweep and moving the Phils to 2 games over .500.

Yesterday, my wife and I attended a Wilmington Blue Rocks game in lieu of me napping in front of the HDTV. It was a little warm out there, finally. The best part was that it was "The Dog Days Of Summer", and people brought their pooches to the park. We had a massive German Shepherd at the end of our row, and a little brown poodle named Amber was shading herself under the seats in front of us. The Salem Avalanche players came to the fence and were loving on the puppies, too. The Rocks went out and played like dogs, surrendering an early 2-0 lead and losing 3-2. Rocks manager Dann Bilardello has a very un-Theo like approach to the game that he'll have to straighten out if he wants to make it to the big club. He sent a runner home with one out on a short looper to right. As we know, the Red Sox like to play it station to station unless Damon or someone else reasonably fast is running. Of course, the runner was cut down easily. Later, Dann ordered his cleanup hitter to sacrifice. No thanks, please, we're Moneyball. That move didn't work either, by the way, resulting in a meek pop-up. Get with it, Dann.

As for the Phillies, they sprinted out to another quick lead, 6-0 this time. Mike Lieberthal got the break of the day when his double off the wall was ruled a home run after Charlie Manuel gave the umpires a grounds rules refresher, which only served to help them blow the call. Diamondbacks manager Bob Melvin was ejected, and for good reason, since that ended up being the winning run. The Snakes chipped away at the lead against Randy Wolf and the bullpen, especially the bullpen. Our pal Cormier gave up Luis Gonzalez' 300th home run in the 8th to make it 6-5. Pat Burrell hit a bomb in the bottom of the 8th for a 7-5 lead, and Wags held on to barely get the save after giving up an RBI single to who else, Tony Clark, in the 9th for a 7-6 final.

This afternoon's series finale has Cory Lidle facing their putative ace, Brandon Webb. When the NL East merry-go-round stopped Sunday night after the Mets doubleheader with the Giants, your Washington Nationals (?) are now in first place, a half-game better than Atlanta. We're tied with the Mets at 30-27, a game out in third place, and the Florida Marlins (!) are in last place, having lost 8 of 10. I love this. Any team can go 8-2 and take a 3 game lead, or go 2-8 and wind up in dead last. I'd love it more if we keep winning 8 of 10 for a while, and the Braves would lose 8 of 10, of course. Looks like I picked the right year to start blogging the Phillies.

BROOM, BROOM, BROOM!!!

How sweep it is! Sweeping Beauty! How Sweep is my valley? Ok, that's enough. The Phillies managed something they hadn't done all year, take every game of a series, last night against the Giants. It was shaky behind the always interesting pitching of Jon Lieber, but they held on.

The Phils took a quick 4-0 lead in the second on an Utley double, a Lieberthal single and egregious throwing error by Jason Ellison, a near homer by Lieber off the 398 sign in right center, and a for-real homer by J-Roll just inside the right field foul pole. Lieber gave that lead right back with a two out rally including back-to-back homers by J.T. Snow and Moises "Urine Good Hands" Alou. The Phils then quickly regained the lead in the third with a two-run bases-loaded wounded duck into short right field by David Bell. The Giants added a late run in the seventh off Rheal Cormier, who still hasn't got the "improved bullpen" memo. Daddy Wags closed out the 6-5 win with a 1-2-3 ninth. Back to .500. And thanks to a late comeback by the Nats, the entire NL East is now within 2.5 games of the lead.

It's June 3rd, and it may be early, but we are in what is known in baseball circles as a "pennant race". It's an alien concept in these parts, but I've seen them before, and they can be quite exhilarating. This is a particularly good one, involving five nearly indistinguishable and variously flawed teams. The Braves bullpen is a mess, the Marlins just lost 7 of 8 and are getting no production from Mike Lowell (yet) and Al Leiter is terrible, the Mets have weak pitching after Pedro, and the Nats are playing way over their heads. Despite our problems, which have been excruciatingly documented here, we've won 10 of the last 15 and have the only thing resembling momentum in the division, plus a favorable schedule. Now, Rheal, did you get the memo? I'll just forward you another copy, mmm-kay? Thaaanks. (that was my Lumbergh impression, in case you weren't aware).

Try as they might to shelter him and his 7+ ERA from Major League hitters, the Phils are forced to send Vicente Padilla to the hill tonight against the D'Backs Javier Vazquez. On the surface it doesn't look promising, but we're on a roll, and this is as good a time as any to see if Padilla can get it together. The good news is, it's raining. Keep raining! And CBP grounds crew, whatever you do, don't do this!

CHASE AND THE GIANT HIT, PART II

Damn! Why do all the good games happen on Wednesday? I have "a prior commitment" (which has nothing to do with the oft-injured Cubs pitcher) most Wednesdays, and I am usually unable to catch the entire game. I'm really sorry I missed most of last night's strange tilt with the Giants. Is there any better phrase in the English language than "pinch-hit Grand Slam"? There are probably a few, and of course, it really sucks when you're the slamee, but still, when you're a follower of the team that hits one, life is good.

I did catch Scott Graham and Chris Wheeler on WDEL for the first two innings while I was in the car. Wheels pulled a typical Wheels jinx move when he mentioned, not once but twice, that Cory Lidle has not given up a home run to a lefty this year. I thought, "Oh great. The ball will be flying out of the park in bunches tonight." Amazingly this didn't happen, but about everything else did. The Giants started things with a couple of cheap runs when pitcher Kirk Rueter slapped a two-out single up the middle with the bases loaded, and Jason Ellison followed with another single to left. Pat Burrell cut down Mike Matheny, who Marion Jones could outrun even after she stopped taking steroids and while pregnant, at the plate to end the threat. So far not too unusual, but the night was young. In the Phils half of the third, Jim Thome was ejected, for the first time as a Phillie, for arguing balls and strikes with plate umpire Paul Schrieber. I guess I was right when I said he wouldn't get cranking on a monster June last night, but that's not what I meant. Thome later had a run-in with a defenseless water cooler as he exited the premises, which seemed to fire up the Phillies.

The Phils took a 3-2 lead in the 4th on an RBI double by Lieberthal, an RBI triple by J-Roll, and an RBI single by Polanco. Tomas Perez, filling in for Thome, popped up with the bases loaded to end the inning, but his time would come. The Giants regained the lead in the 6th with a 2-run triple by Alfonzo followed by a double by Matheny to make it 5-3. Rollins led off the bottom of the 6th off new pitcher Jeff Fassero with a single, and advanced to second on a Polanco infield hit. Abreu then singled to left, and Pedro Feliz gunned down Rollins trying to score. Just when it looked like a promising inning was falling apart, Tomas took his cue and dribbled a bases-loaded single into center field to tie the game at 5-5.

The Phillies took the lead in the 7th on one of the bigger plays on a night of big plays. J-Mike and Lieberthal led off the inning with singles, and Endy Chavez came on to pinch-bunt, which he did successfully to advance the runners, With the Giants infield playing in and the outfield playing deep, Rollins hit a routine fly to short left that Feliz charged at full speed and reached for just as it neared the turf. The ball appeared to hit Feliz' glove and stick, but the second-base umpire Andy Fletcher immediately called it a trap, which allowed Michaels to score. This was the second time in two nights the Phils caught a break on an outfield play. In game 1, Lofton clearly trapped a ball that was called a catch, which saved at least one early Giants run. Giants manager Felipe Alou had seen more than he could stand, and carried on long enough to get tossed. The Giants immediately re-tied the game at 6-6 in the top of the 8th off Ryan Madson. Jason Ellison hit a one-out nubber to Perez with runners on first and third, which Perez tried to fire home. His throw was off-balance and the ball ended up short-hopping Lieby, several steps too late. Madson regrouped and got Vizquel to bounce into a 6-3 double play to end the inning and preserve the tie.

The Giants decided to go with newly acquired LaTroy Hawkins to start the 8th. As a Cub last month, Hawkins speared a liner and then hit Jose Offerman in the head as he tried to scamper back to first, allowing two runs to score for a 3-2 Phillies win. Until last night, that was by far the strangest game the Phillies had played all season. LaTroy got right to work outdoing himself, ceding a single to Burrell and a walk to Perez, followed by a sac bunt by Bell and another walk, this one intentional, to Michaels. Lieberthal hit a line drive to second for the second out, bringing up the pitcher's spot. Either by chance or by using a heretofore unwitnessed foresight, Charlie Manuel had one hitter left on his bench (other than backup catcher Todd Pratt): Chase Utley. The Giants had lefty Jason Christiansen in their pen, but he had pitched the previous night and presumably was unavailable. Possibly Alou might have brought him anyway, but Felipe wasn't around anymore, so they stuck with Hawkins. On a 1-1 count, Hawkins delivered a slider down and in, which was probably an even worse location than Jose Offerman's helmet. Utley hit what we would call in the engineering field a "quasi-linear parabola" into the third row, invoking that mellifluous phrase mentioned above. Billy Wagner cleaned up the 9th for his second straight non-save.

The Phils are now one game under .500. Naturally, the Braves won, so we're still 3.5 out, but it beats being 4.5 out. At the risk of pulling a Wheels, the Phillies look pretty good right now. The bullpen is improving without Adams and Worrell dragging it down, the starters are doing fine, especially since we keep skipping Padilla's turn, and you can't argue with last night's 19 hits. We're getting breaks, clutch hits, and Thome is 1-0 vs. water coolers in the month of June (Hey Baseball Prospectus, let's see the historical numbers on that).

Tonight it's Brad Hennessy vs. erstwhile ace Jon Lieber. I saw Hennessy first hand last month in Houston, and he didn't impress much. Craig Biggio took him deep twice, and it was only the Astros' otherwise complete lack of hitting ability and four fielding errors that kept the Giants in the game. Still, a series sweep has eluded the Phillies all year. Tonight would be as good a time as any for the first one.

CHASE AND THE GIANT HIT

As Comcast Sportsnet pointed out last night, the Phillies are playing their NL West doppelgangers this week. The Giants stats and record are eerily similar to ours. The biggest difference is that the Padres are streaking right now and the Giants are several more games back than we are. The other major difference is that the Giants had played nine more home games than the Phils coming into last night.

Brett Tomko, who once pitched a 1-walk, 27-batter no-hitter for my Strat team, faced Randy Wolf in game 1 last night at the Park. Tomko struggled with his control from the outset, issuing walks in each of the first three innings. It wasn't until the 3rd that the Phils finally capitalized. Wolfie led off with a double off the scoreboard in right, and was sacrificed to third by J-Roll. Lofton, playing on his 38th birthday and defying pretty much everyone, including me, who said he was too old five years ago, drove in Wolf with a line single to center for a 1-0 lead. Abreu and Thome followed with walks, setting up a bases loaded situation for Burrell, who apparently no longer thrives under these conditions as he once did. Pat popped up to Lance Niekro at first base, seemingly deflating any chances for a big inning for the Phils. The next batter, Chase Utley, immediately got down 0-2, before fouling off a few high fastballs and basically looking lost. Then Tomko dropped a slider off the plate and down, and Utley, in what was last night's best hitting performance, somehow slapped it into center field to score Lofton and Abreu to make it 3-0. Tomko must have been royally pissed that he let that inning get away, and probably more than a little impressed with Utley, as was everyone who saw that hit.

Wolfie, meanwhile, was also struggling a bit, including a couple of early walks and a hit batsman, but he always managed to escape his self-made jams without allowing any runs. Manuel lifted him in favor of Ryan Madson in the 7th to face Moises Alou with a man on and two outs. I haven't read the full scoop on this, but I'm guessing it was a combination of pitch count, fatigue, and the fact that the Giants had their right-handed cleanup hitter up. In any event, Mad Dog did his job getting the game to Wagner in the ninth. Thankfully, the Phils tacked on a couple of runs in the 8th, because Wags gave up yet another home run, this one to rookie Jason Ellison. The Phils managed to hang on for a 5-2 win, and are now 3.5 games out following losses by Florida and Atlanta. The NL East is tighter than (insert Dan Ratherism here).

I'm getting really worried about Billy Wagner. I keep saying that, but this time I mean it. He once could spot his 99 MPH heater, but now it inevitably ends up right on the barrel of the hitter's bat. He's publicly disavowed using his slider, so unless he comes up with another off-speed pitch, unlikely from a guy who has mentioned retiring after the season, he has nowhere else to turn.

I'm letting up on the "Do Something, Ed" watch. Outrighting Terry "I Hear Scranton Has A Pretty Good School System" Adams and giving Robinson Tejeda a shot at some meaningful work has been enough so far to halt the precipitous slide of the bullpen. Still, it sure would be nice to unload Ryan Howard, who will never play as long as Thome is around, and break up the Utley/Polanco/Bell playing time mess in favor of a reliable young reliever and maybe some help for the farm system. I've heard some folks mention that the A's would love Howard and his potentially sweet OPS, and they have a young catcher, Daric Barton, who they might part with. They also have a deep bullpen we could poach from with the right combination of players. Then again, knowing Wade and having read "Moneyball", the chances Ed won't get fleeced by Billy Beane are pretty remote.

Soft-tossing lefty Kirk Rueter takes on Cory Lidle in the Park tonight. Thome has had some monster Junes in the past (9 and 15 HR's so far as a Phillie), but Rueter is very tough on lefties, so he probably won't get cranking tonight.

SITH SENSE

Once again, we'll do a brief review, this time of the Phillies successful but not quite successful enough weekend series against the Braves. The Phils hung a 4-spot on John Smoltz in game 1, then coasted home for a 5-1 win behind Cory Lidle, Rheal Cormier, and Billy Wagner. That had to be the easiest win over the Braves I've ever seen. Atlanta scored a run in the first, and never really challenged after that.

Game 2 was a 12-5 laugher, but only after the Phils exploded for 5 runs in the ninth. Jason Michaels was the star, making a superb diving catch and hitting a 3-run homer to put the game away. Jon Lieber was shaky, but he managed to stay in long enough to get the victory. Just as I had written, Robinson Tejeda was brought into a still undecided game to relieve Lieber, and retired the side in order. So far, so good.

Until game 3. The Phillies took a 2-1 lead into the fifth, and appeared poised to get the sweep with ace Brett Myers firing darts. Then the Braves woke up. After two quick singles, Ryan "Islets of" Langerhans hit a two-run triple to give the Braves a lead they would never relinquish. Tejeda came in in the 7th and gave up his first three runs of the season in the 8th to give the Braves a 7-2 win.

The Phillies have managed to negotiate the last 12 games vs. first or second place teams with a 7-5 record. Now, if they could have played as well against the other teams, they would be in first place themselves, but it never seems to work out that way. We're still 5 games out, still in last place, but this stretch gives us a smidgen of hope. The Braves and Marlins are not great teams, and neither appear to be capable of winning 100 games. This division can be won with a sustained run of good baseball, and with the schedule turning in our favor, the time is now.

Elsewhere in my chronologically challenged life, we went to see Revenge Of The Sith. My one-phrase review: Eh. To expand on that, the second half of the film, where Palpatine has been exposed as Darth Sidious, was excellent. It was fascinating watching Anakin slowly turn into Darth Vader, and to see all the other plot elements fall into alignment for Episode IV. Prior to that, the movie was unrelentingly dull. I think the main problem with Eps I, II, and the first half of III is that there is no established villain, at least not one who is nearly as scary as Vader, who you already know is coming. Count Dooku? Are you kidding me? I mean, the name alone sounds like a waste product. General Grievous is a droid for crying out loud. Like a droid is going to defeat a Jedi. Oh, sorry, I went over-nerd there. And the casting of Natalie Portman has got to be the biggest movie mistake since John Travolta discovered Scientology. Still, I'm glad I saw it, as if my social abilities gave me any choice.

Hope you're having some cold ones with your Navy buddies, Dad.

HANDS ON

Ok, this was posted 9 minutes ago on Yahoo, but I still won't be the first to come up with this joke:

So, some Viagra users are going blind? I guess, unlike Cialis users, they weren't waiting for the right moment.

BIG SLEEP

The Phillies had a day off last night. I went to bed at 7:30 PM. God, I'm old.

I guess I should use today's entry to reflect on the state of the Phillies, but I'm not on Xanax yet, and I don't want to start. Today is Day #3 of the "Do Something, Ed" watch. As Tom suggested in the Moral Imperatives, that something could be to either get fired or quit. In fact, I would prefer that to be the something. Maybe Ruben Amaro, Jr. has half a brain in his head. Heaven forbid Dave Montgomery goes out and hires a Moneyball disciple. Theo Epstein only won the World Series after numerous other GM's failed for 86 years, and we wouldn't want that. Then we'd have to put up bunting around the stadium and plan a parade and all that other profligacy that we just can't afford because we are a small-market team after all. So, so small.

Cory Lidle stepped up to replace Vicente Padilla in the rotation tonight against Big Bad Smoltz. I haven't heard as to why just yet, other than the obvious fact that Padilla stinks right now, and the day off made it Lidle's turn day-wise. I wonder if Madson's available, or if Manuel will try out Robinson Tejeda in high-risk situations. Tejeda has gone 5-plus without allowing a run, which is a hell of a lot better than Geoff Geary or Rheal Cormier. Again, you wouldn't want to go with young relievers who are cheap and effective when you have old geezers available on whom you lavished long-term contracts worth several million dollars. I'm getting Wade's Seven Habits Of Highly Effective Managing General Partner Bamboozlers down pat.

NORTH TO ATLANTA

Hey, we won one! I missed most of it of course. I was listening on the radio in the car up until the rain delay, and then I turned it off. I didn't tune back in until the sixth inning when Wolfie almost blew the 8-2 lead. Poor Ryan Madson's right arm is going to fall off and enter the Overuse Protection Program pretty soon. You can't really blame Charlie. Mad Dog is the only guy out there with a semblance of effectiveness other than Wags. It was nice to see J-Roll have a good night. He's been killing us in the leadoff spot with his OBP hovering around .300. Thome also got off the interstate with three hits. Thanks to Al Leiter for showing up for work last night. I think his broadcasting career may start sooner rather than later.

I've decided this is Day 2 of the "Do Something, Ed!" Watch. I'm not even counting Marlon Byrd for Endy Chavez, unless Chavez develops a nasty breaking pitch. The options are there, Eddy boy. Ryan Howard is option number one. You obviously aren't going to play him, so it's imperative that you turn him into a middle reliever or setup guy who can eat innings and keep Madson away from the Andrews Clinic. Get cracking!

On to Chipper-ville after a day off. Oh brother, Padilla vs. Smoltz. I'll have to plan to miss that one.

BILLY, YOU WEREN'T A HERO

Ugh. It's never fun when your closer blows a save, and this one was less fun than usual. Brett Myers was cruising along with a 2-hit shutout when he came out for the eighth inning of a 3-0 game. Apparently, from the paper this morning, Charlie Manuel never intended him to pitch in the eighth, instead using him as a decoy to force the Marlins to announce lefty pinch hitter Lenny Harris so that Manuel could bring in the lefty Rheal Cormier, which would cause the Marlins to have to burn Harris and insert a right-handed hitter. Myers, according again to the paper, had told Manuel he was gassed because of the hot Florida weather. I was pretty pissed at the time, but if the guy is done, he's done. Unfortunately, Charlie was stuck with Cormier, who gave up a single to pinch-hitter Joe Dillon and a double to another pinch-hitter, Jeff Conine. With his nightly botching completed, Cormier exited in favor of Ryan Madson. Madson allowed both runners to score, but did at least finish the inning with the Phillies still ahead 3-2. That's one of the many differences between the Marlins and the Phillies. The Phils in that situation score maybe one of those two runners, if they get a break.

The Phils went quietly in their half of the ninth, and on came Billy Wagner. Wags was throwing Dade County heat, registering 101 MPH on the Doplhins Stadium gun a few times, and dispatched the first two hitters, setting up a confrontation with Damion Easley. Easley has pretty much bumped Luis Castillo out of his starting job, which Castillo had held for years until a recent injury. He's always had some pop, although he peaked out at an .810 OPS in 1998. Nevertheless, if you throw him a 99 MPH fastball belt high right over the plate, he knows what to do with it. Billy did. And Damion did. Tie game. Yikes. Billy got Alex Gonzalez to end the inning, and the game went to extra torture, I mean extra innings.

Once again, the Phillies failed to mount a rally against the Florida bullpen, and Amaury Telemaco was brought in to pitch the 10th. Telly had been called up to replace the execrable Terry Adams, who had been outrighted earlier in the day. Now we know why Adams had hung around so long. Telemaco gave up a leadoff single to Joe Dillon, who had stayed in on a double switch. He managed to retire Jeff Conine and Paul Lo Duca, forcing Manuel to bring in lefty Aaron Fultz to face Carlos Delgado, who is fast becoming a Phillie nemesis of the Chipper and Cornelius Floyd variety. Delgado promptly belted another two-out blast, this one to the deepest part of the park in center, scoring Dillon and giving the Marlins the 4-3 win.

What more is there to say about the Phillies bullpen, and Wade's handling thereof? It literally cannot get any worse. The Phils have the worst bullpen ERA in the major leagues. The worst. Finally, Wade's asinine policy of signing 38-year-old relievers to lucrative long-term contracts has bitten him in the ass hugely. Tim Worrell is a mental case of some sort, Cormier can't even get lefties out, and Terry Adams was so bad even Wade had to fire him. There is plenty of cheap, effective relief talent available every off-season, but somehow, Wade always feels the need to hire guys who remember the lyrics to Queen and Supertramp songs. Then there's Wagner. He started out pretty strong, but he's getting more and more hittable every game he enters, and if he goes over the edge, we're looking at 100 losses easy. Maybe it's time to make some radical changes. Ryan Howard can be dealt for relief help today. The same is also true with either Gavin Floyd or Vicente Padilla, although you wouldn't get much for either right now. Placido Polanco or David Bell are certainly guys who might get you a decent reliever. Come on, Ed, do something! We're 7.5 back and fading fast. Maybe Ed is waiting for the July 31st trading deadline to...oh yeah, never mind.

TRAIN-ING DAY

So much for the Jon Lieber renaissance. Everything was looking good until the sixth inning, when pitcher Dontrelle Willis inside-outed a one-out single past David Bell down the left field line. Über-pest Juan Pierre, very high on the most-hated list headed by Chipper, followed with a slap hit past Bell through the hole (Bell should have had this one, but he alligator-armed it for some reason). Then the Phils got one of those breaks that usually foretell happy endings. Paul Lo Duca hit a swinging bunt up the first base line which Lieber pounced on and fired to first. The ball hit Lo Duca in the helmet and caromed down the right field line, allowing Willis to score. Immediately, home plate umpire Eric Cooper called interference on Lo Duca, who went into a fit of apoplexy, apparently unaware of the rule stating that the batter-runner must stay in foul territory while running to first. Replays showed that he was clearly in fair territory the entire time, even touching the grass as he got closer to the bag. This made it two outs with runners still on first and second for Carlos Delgado. Chris Wheeler, who was doing play-by-play on Comcast Sportsnet at the time, mentioned that the Phillies were not out of the woods yet. Sometimes, even most times, I wish Wheels would keep his rampant pessimism to himself. Delgado proceeded to take a wayward cut fastball deep into the right field seats for a 3-1 Marlins lead. Miguel Cabrera followed by mashing a first pitch breaking ball at light speed over the Teal Monster to make it 4-1. Terry "We're Throwing In The Towel" Adams, or "The Bearded Hemorrhage" as Dennis Deitch of the Delaware County Daily Times calls him, came in to allow his usual run in the 7th. Bob Abreu stayed hot with an RBI single in the 8th, but there would be no comeback against the D Train, now 9-1 and steaming toward a Cy Young award. Final: 5-2 Fish.

Last night's loss drops the Phillies to 6.5 games back, with two more to play in Dolphins Stadium, followed by three in Atlanta. This would be a good week for Jim Thome to get hot, but last night's pinch-hitting attempt doesn't bode well. Coming up in the 7th as the tying run with two outs, Thome was utterly baffled by Dontrelle's breaking stuff, and struck out looking. I guess I don't understand why if he's not likely to do well enough against Willis to start him and give him four at-bats, you would elect to pinch-hit him in a critical situation against the same pitcher. That's our Charlie: counter-intuitive to the point of utter bafflement, and not in a good way.

Tonight, Brett Myers, who would be in the Cy Young race himself if the Phillies were any good, faces Josh Beckett. The Phillies hit Beckett hard earlier this month at Citizen's Bank, which would be encouraging were it not for Beckett's 0.62 home ERA, with ZERO homers allowed and .167 batting average against. Hey Wheels, chew on those numbers!

BEYOND ELEVEN

Let's just do a quick recap of the week. I was unbelieveably busy all week and could not find time to blog.

Tuesday, May 17th - Cory Lidle manages to beat the Cards 7-5 despite five Phillies miscues, three by David Bell

Wednesday, May 18th - Jon Lieber gets clobbered again as the Cardinals win 8-4. Come on, Jon, we really need you.

Thursday, May 19th - Brett Myers, the true team ace, gets win number four as the Phils prevail 7-4. The Phillies score one run in seven different innings.

Friday, May 20th - Interleague play begins in Camden Yards. The Phillies bash the Birds 9-3. Wolfie lowers his May ERA to 2.77.

Saturday, May 21st - The Phils can't solve Eric Bedard and lose 7-0. Vicente Padilla is now 1-5 with a 7.04 ERA. Paging Gavin Floyd? He's 1-4 with a 7.66 ERA at S/WB. Maybe not.

Sunday, May 22nd - Lidle throws a complete game in a 7-2 victory. The Phillies are very sorry to leave Camden Yards.

For the 2005 Phillies, this was an auspicious stretch. They went 4-2, won both series, scored 34 runs, and aside from Padilla, Lieber, and Terry "Please Release Me, Let Me Go" Adams, pitched pretty well. Philadelphia is now 21-24, 5.5 games behind the Marlins, whom they meet for a three-game set starting tonight. Discouragingly, Jim Thome is now hitting .195 with one home run, and it's nearly June. Clearly, this situation has to improve rapidly if the Phillies have any chance this season. And we have to get rid of Adams. He's a three-run rally with ears.

In other news, on Saturday night, my wife and I attended a show by the inimitable Welsh chanteuse Judith Owen and her husband, the omni-talented Harry Shearer, of Simpsons voice-over and Spinal Tap's bassist Derek Smalls fame. The show was at the Tin Angel, on 2nd Street in Olde City. As my wife and I walked into the club, and back out again, we instantly went from the oldest people on the street to the youngest people in the room and vice versa. Second Street was thick with 20-somethings dressed for, it would seem, imminent sexual congress. The Tin Angel itself is an exceedingly long and narrow space on the second floor of the restaurant Serrano. We stood in a line on the stairs waiting to get in while a stout gentlemen at the door went in and out checking to see if the sound check was over. On one of his sojourns outside the door, he made a point to complain about Judith's behavior. Nice. As we sat down, my wife was greeted with a table having the adhesive qualities of a roach motel, only not as appetizing. Why I was expecting more out of musical performance venues in Philadelphia I'll never know. Undeterred, I ordered a fully caffeinated cappuccino in order to keep my aging self awake through the 10:30 show and the drive home.

Finally, Judith and her backup duo took the stage at about 10:45. She mentioned something about the "Non-COMM", which I found out later was a convention for public radio stations that she and Harry had attended that day at the University of Pennsylvania, and then went right into her rendition of Deep Purple's "Smoke On The Water". She played most of her new album, interspersing her songs with witty commentary about the Welsh in general, Tom Jones in particular, Beverly Hills cosmetic surgery queens, her impossible husband, her impossible self, the unfortunate souls who had to navigate right past the stage to get to the bathrooms, and the ventilation fan above her that kept blowing in her face periodically. Harry, who sat on a stool in the audience along a sidebar during most of the show and was only mildly harassed for autographs by Simpsons dweebs, came on stage as a backup baritone on the Michael Jackson inspired number "Famous Friends". He then took over for about 10 minutes while Judith took a breather, doing bits from his "Le Show" program, including the hilarious song sung from Barbara Walters point-of-view called "82 Facelifts".

The night belonged squarely to Judith, however. Her songs, most of which she wrote herself, and a few which are covers of contemporary classics such as Sting's "Walking On The Moon", are sung with a jazz-inspired pop style that can only be described as unique, with her strong yet sweet voice punctuated with frequent staccato elongated vowel phrasings. She played her Yamaha keyboard with an effortless virtuousity, and percussionist Jeff Brownlee and bassist Sean Hurley, whom she described as "her hunks", were first-rate as well. The between-song interludes were always funny and often mesmerizing as she exerted her considerable will over the audience. The 40-50 patrons called her out for two encores. For the first encore, she came out and said, "I thought you lot didn't want me to come back out, and I was saying 'Those fuckers!', but now I love you." For the second encore, she sang the England homage "Blighty" from her 2003 album "12 Arrows", and then told us all (a la Tracey Ullman), to "Go home!", which we did, thoroughly entertained and feeling lucky to be part of this intimate group amidst the horny rabble on the street below. Now if they can give our table a good steam cleaning and stop dissing the talent, the Tin Angel will really have something.

SPLIT-CINNATI

We managed to fly safely on Friday the 13th, debunking that myth for the time being, which really wasn't much of an accomplishment, when you think about it. The only way the myth could have been upheld was if every airplane aloft that day came plummeting down in a fireball, in which case I doubt the airline would let us get on board in the first place, seeing as how our flight was at 4 PM. They're not too bright, but even they would have caught on by then.

The day worked out OK for the Phils as well, who pounded the Reds 12-2 behind the increasingly impressive pitching of Brett Myers. Of course, I was stuck either in a plane or an airport all evening, so I missed it. The Reds took game 1 on Thursday while I was sitting in Minute Maid Park (more on that in a bit) watching the out-of-town scoreboard. Lieber uncharacteristically collapsed in that one. On Saturday, Ryan Madson retired only one batter in relief of Randy Wolf, blowing a 4-2 lead in epic fashion as the Reds scampered to a 12-4 decision. On Sunday, Vicente Padilla, finally done with Spring Training, won his first game by a 4-3 score, although Billy Wagner did his best to lose it for him.

On to my Minute Maid Experience. I traveled from the Kingwood area of Houston with my brother-in-law, my nephew, and my nephew's college friend down to the park, where we met my niece. My niece actually kept score of the game (she's 23, single, and very attractive, guys. Inquiries can be left in the comments section). I have to admit, I got caught up in the atmosphere of a Houston baseball crowd and sat down in my seat along the third base line after the first pitch. I couldn't help myself. At least I didn't get up, go get a beer, sit down, get up, go to the bathroom, sit down, get up, go get an ice cream, etc. like most of the other 29,000 fans. Jeez. It was like a damn conga line up and down the aisles. I must have missed about 30 pitches waiting for someone to get out of the way. After I finally did sit down, the Giants scratched out a run on an infield hit, an error by 3B Morgan Ensberg, a fielder's choice, and a sacrifice fly. Craig Biggio answered right back in the bottom of the first with a towering home run to left center, and Ensberg hit one in almost the exact same spot two batters later. So far, so good for the normally anemic 'Stros.

Andy Pettitte was not very sharp early though, and he quickly gave up the tying run on a Deivi Cruz double and a Mike Matheny single. Matheny was a real pest all night, which is pathetic considering he's not even as much of an offensive threat as Houston backstop Brad Ausmus, which is really saying something. The game stayed tied until the fifth, when Biggio hit a routine pop fly into the Crawford Boxes in left for his second round-tripper of the night. I mean, this thing had no chance in any other park, including Fenway. Moises Alou puts this ball in his back pocket in Wrigley, assuming Steve Bartman stays home. Oh well, c'est la stade.

The Astros paid for their good fortune in the top of the sixth. Pettitte loaded the bases on two walks and a single for Matheny, who hit a humpbacked liner into left that a hobbling Lance Berkman, just off the DL, made a late break on. Berkman not only couldn't reach the ball, but he bobbled it, allowing the go-ahead run to score as well. The Astros never scored again, blowing their best chance in the 8th when Phil Garner curiously sent both runners from first and second on a 3-2 pitch with one out and Jose Vizcaino up. Viz either missed the sign or had a brain cramp, as he took a called third strike. Matheny, with the left-handed hitting Vizcaino up and a clear view of third base, nailed Jason Lane, a slow runner, by five feet at third to complete the double play. It was the kind of aggressive base-running play Garner was brought in to execute, but he picked the exact wrong time to try it. Vizcaino has to at least swing at that pitch, though. That was the most inexcusable part of the whole endeavor. To their credit, the Astros fans actually booed, although I'm not entirely sure they knew who they were booing at.

The Giants tacked on a couple of more runs in the 9th on a Tal's Hill double by Ray Durham, an Omar Vizquel single, a sac bunt, and yet another Ensberg error. Someone named Tyler Walker closed it out 1-2-3 in the bottom of the 9th for San Francisco, and it was back on the 59 Highway for us. Getting back on the freeway wasn't hard, since most of the rest of the "fans" had left after the 8th inning botched double steal.

Minute Maid is as clean and beautiful as I remember it. After years of enduring the Astrodome, it's the one aspect of moving north I really regret. I'm not sure when it started, but after the traditional "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" during the seventh inning stretch, the PA plays "Deep In The Heart Of Texas", complete with lyrics on the Jumbotron, and the fans eat it up. It's pretty damn cool, I must say, at least for someone who lived in Houston for six years and whose wife grew up there. "The sage in bloom, smells like perfume, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP-CLAP Deep in the Heart of Teh-ex-as!" The Phillies aren't ever going to come up with anything to compare, I'm afraid.

I was disappointed that they didn't close the roof, which is an engineering feat to behold. They usually start slowly and silently bringing it forward in about the 6th inning, and the other two times I was there, it took me until about the 7th to notice. After that, I ignored it for awhile and went back to watching the game. Then, suddenly, it's closed, and what was a lovely skyline view a few innings earlier is a bunch of glass panels. It's kind of jarring, like, when did I go indoors? Still, I would have liked to have seen it again, just to satisfy the geek in me.

Off day today. We're 7 games back of the Braves, 5.5 out of the wild-card. "The S-L-G, stinks might-i-ly BOO-BOO-BOO-BOO! Deep in the Heart of Phil-ly"

HOUSTON, WE HAVE AN ANNOYING CLICHE

I don't have much to say, just a quick note that I'm in beautiful Houston, Texas on a business trip, and the Phillies are still foundering. I caught the end of the Sunday game, which the Phillies lost 3-2 to the Cubs, at my sister- and brother-in-law's house. They are all avid Astros fans, and are even more melancholy than I am about now. I saw most of the Monday 4-2 win over the Brewers on our laptop via MLB.TV. One of these days I'll have to give a complete review of that service, which is fantastic. I completely missed yesterday's and today's epic bullpen collapses. I think the less said, the better. The one good thing I've noticed is that Bob Abreu is volcanically hot now that we're well into May. Aside from that, all is pretty morose in Phan-ville.

Well, I have to run and eat more on the company dole. I probably won't be checking in again until I get home. At that time I'll regale you with tales of my excursion to Minute Maid Park to watch the Astros play the Barry-less Giants.

WESTWARD, OH NO

Of course, we lost. J-Roll made it interesting with a three-run homer in the top of the ninth (sorry about that "hits like Lauryn Hill" thing, Jimmy), but Pat struck out again with the tying run on base against Looper, as he did in game three. We're now a very ugly 12-17 as we escape the East for the Central like Steve McQueen tunneling out against the Nazis.

The Cubs are reeling right now, having lost Kerry Wood for at least two months, Nomar possibly for the season, and with many of their other hitters slumping. Unfortunately, we get their best pitcher, Mark Prior, this afternoon, although he's been scuffling a bit as well with minor ailments. We're countering with Lidle, who could be a few wind-blown homers waiting to happen. Corey has been eating innings, though, and keeping the ball around the plate at least. The weekend games have Lieber facing lefty Glendon Rusch and Myers facing Carlos (Don't Call Me Victor) Zambrano. We have to win those last two if not all three to have any hope of getting back in this race by June. Then we head off to face streaking Milwaukee, who has taken over second place in the Central. I wrote it earlier in the year and I stand by it: it's good to be Bud-free.

I stayed up and watched "Breaking Away" for the 348th time last night. It's definitely in the Pantheon, right up there with "All The President's Men", and the movie that gave this place its name, "Real Genius". The Phillies are looking like Mike after he bonks his head in the quarry swimming against the IU kid: bloody and sinking fast. We still have over two-thirds of the movie to go though.

BLOG ON THE FLY

Something different today: I'm going to jot down my immediate, visceral reactions to the Phillies lousy play as it happens! I have the ESPN Gamecast going as I write this. Looks like Padilla struggled in the second, giving up a couple of doubles and two runs, although the Mets ran themselves out of a bigger inning when David Wright was thrown at the plate by J-Roll. Jimmy then got one back with a walk, steal of second, steal of third, and a wild pitch by Kris Benson. Well, at least we can run, if not hit.

TOP FIFTH
Pratt bounces out. Padilla gets a rare hit. Jimmy singles him to second. Come on Chaser! Three-and-oh to Utley. Take a strike, Chase, Bobby's on deck. OK, 3-1. Walked him. Bases juiced for Abreu. Just noticed: how could they sit Floyd for this game? He popped it up...dammit. Ok, Pat, it's on you. You love this place. Now is the time. It hit him! Tied up at 2-2. That'll do it for Benson. He'll hit the showers, along with three hookers the grounds crew planted so that Anna Benson will make good on her pledge to have sex with the whole team, including the grounds crew, if Kris cheats on her. Aaron Heilman comes in.

Ok, Bell is in there. He and his whopping .216 average. Comebacker. Nice job, Dave. Well, we tied it up, anyway.

BOTTOM FIFTH
Beltran in against Vicente. Ground out to Big Ryan. That'll bring up Piazza. Base hit up the middle. Pizza-boy is a hitting machine. Mike Cameron steps in. Again, where the heck is Yukon Cornelius? Maybe he's hurt. I'll have to research that. Doh! Double by Cameron, Piazza to third. Way to keep the momentum going, Padilla. Minky is walked to load the bases for D-Wright. We need a DP grounder bad here. Nope. Another double! Two runs are in, it's 4-2, Minky heads to third. Ok, Charlie, I think the Flotilla is taking on water. Diaz is walked to load them again. Hey it worked once. Heilman the pitcher is due up. I guess they'll bat him now that he has a lead. Ryan Madson comes on to try to stanch the hemorrhaging. Polanco replaces Bell for the double switch.

Heilman is taking his hacks. Heilman is caught browsing. Nice job, Ryan. That'll bring up Reyes, bases still loaded. Good morning, good afternoon, good night. Struck him out. Madson is clutch as usual. Ok, not too terrible, only two runs. At least Padilla actually made it out of the fourth today. Maybe by July he can pitch long enough to get a win.

TOP SIXTH
Big Ryan up. Big K. Marlon Byrd makes an appearance. He even has a hit already. And another! Marlon heads for second on Cameron's error. Pratt's up. Pratt K's. Polanco, hitting in the ninth spot, tries to get a big two-out hit. Not happening. Bouncer to third. Still 4-2.

BOTTOM SIXTH
The blogger repairs to the facilities...Kaz bounces out. Beltran out swinging. Pizza-boy gets another hit. Cameron hits into an FC. The score remains 4-2.

TOP SEVENTH
I wonder if Heilman will stay in, or if they have a setup guy they like to use. I guess it's Heilman. J-Roll leads off. Is it me, or is J-Roll a dead ringer for Lauryn Hill? Hits like her too. One out, on strikes. The Chaser is up. Ground out to 1B. Now Abreu. K me. So, so quiet. Stretch time!

BOTTOM SEVENTH
Minky grounds to second. D-Wright K's. Diaz bounces to third. Madson mows them down again. Let's get some runs!

TOP EIGHTH
Pat The Bat starts us off. Heilman still dealing. Burrell out on strikes. The pitcher's spot is due up. Offerman will pinch hit. Jose is aboard with a bases on balls. It's about time somebody got on. Ryan is up. Now's the time, rookie. Double play. That's not what I meant. Still 4-2, and time is rapidly running out. Looper is probably getting warm.

But I'm serious, J-Roll and Lauryn Hill could be related...



BOTTOM EIGHTH
Tim Worrell? Oh no. That lead will soon get bigger. Marlon Anderson leads off, base hit. Reyes up. Sac bunt, Anderson to second. Kaz is the hitter. Grounds to second, moving Anderson to third. Any other reliever gets out of this, but Worrell will find a way to allow that runner to score. Beltran is up. He walks on four straight. Piazza must be salivating. He's already 3-4. And there it goes! Three-run blast. 7-2. Drive safely folks. Thanks, Timmy. Have a nice life pumping gas or selling real estate. Cameron doubles for the exclamation point. Come on Minky, put us out of our misery. He popped up to second. God, we suck.

Well, I gotta run, kids. I'll add a post-mortem tomorrow, and a preview of the Cubs series, if I really feel depressed.

SO CLOSE, YET SEO FAR

Remember what I said about Brad Wilkerson? It goes double for Cornelius "Cliff" Floyd. Now there's a name I can ridicule. COR-NEEEEELL-YUSSSS!!! God, I hate that guy. He continued to kill us in every way possible last night, hitting another monster homer and robbing J-Mike of a tater, which ended up being the difference in the game. And who the hell is Jae Seo? The Mets are on the verge of sending this guy down to Norfolk, and he throws eight shutout innings. Unfathomable.

The game started out well enough. Wolfie looked pretty good until I left the game in the top of the third, otherwise detained. Soon after I stopped listening, Victor "only hits against us" Diaz homered. Yukon Cornelius singled in a run in the third, and then hit his ninth homer, seemingly his ninth off Phillies pitching this year, in the fifth to make it 3-0. Meanwhile, Seo was meeting little resistance. I know Thome and Lofton are out, but geez, guys, can't anybody here play this game? They managed a David Bell single and two Bobby Abreu walks until I picked the game back up in the top of the ninth. Braden Looper came on to close, and he's had a shaky history against the Phillies, blowing several games last season. Rollins was retired quickly, but the Chaser worked the count to 3-2 on a few close pitches the Mets fans were hollering about. Finally, Looper grooved one, and Utley clobbered it over Diaz for a home run to right. OK, that's one. Bobby followed with a blast on a 1-2 pitch to almost the same location to make it 3-2. Yes! Comeback! Looper is toast! Not so fast, little one. Burrell took a called third strike, and J-Mike was completely overmatched, going down on four pitches. Fuck me. Hello 12-16.

This afternoon's tilt doesn't look any more promising. Vicente Padilla, still in Spring Training mode, goes for the Phils against Kris Benson, who was just activated off the DL. Guess who made room for him? That's right, Mr. Expendable, Jae Seo, who the Phillies hitters just treated like he had the Marburg virus. Thank goodness we're getting out of this division after today and heading to the increasingly Friendly Confines, although we'll probably make the Cubs look good the way we're going. Marburg, anyone?

TRANSITION GAME

I actually sat down and tried to watch this game from the beginning. Pat Burrell rewarded me with a three-run dinger off Tom Glavine in the first inning. Glavine just isn't getting the corners any more. I'm not sure if it is QuesTec, or Sandy Alderson and his new union-busted umpires getting back at him for being such a big union guy, but that pitch five inches off the plate that used to be rung up with regularity is nearly always called a ball now. Bobby Abreu took advantage of a couple of Glavine-former-strikes to work out a walk ahead of Pat, and he later singled in a pair of runs in the second inning to make it 5-0.

As we've all heard, Jim Thome and Kenny Lofton (big surprise) are on the 15-day disabled list. The Phils called up Ryan Howard and Marlon Byrd from S/WB to fill their spots. Howard was in uniform for the game last night but did not start, because of the lefty Glavine. In my opinion, this can only help in the short term. Thome was slumping badly, probably because of his back injury, and Howard's bat should be an improvement. Byrd and Michaels probably won't be much different than Lofton and Michaels, especially if they just give Michaels the centerfield job full time. He's earned it.

The Phils tacked on three more in the fourth. Abreu drove in two runs with another single and scored the third one on a David Bell single. I hope Bobby's out of his reality-TV-induced funk. Glavine couldn't make it out of that fourth inning, and the rout was on. Cliff Floyd hit another huge home run in the bottom of the fourth to make it 8-1, but the Mets never threatened. The final was 10-3. Tim Worrell managed to raise his ERA to 8.10 by giving up a run in the ninth. He and The Thing need to seriously consider another line of work. If only Wade had the wherewithal to find better alternatives.

Now, I tried to watch this game, but Comcast refused to let me. Since the Sixers were busy getting pantsed by the Pistons, Sportsnet wasn't carrying the Phillies game and Comcast instead had switched it to CN8, their penny-ante news channel. I have the High-Def DVR box on my downstairs TV, and CN8 was working fine there. I decided to catch the end of the game in bed, and upstairs, we just have the usual Low-Def Digital cable box. No CN8. No UPN either, which, coincidentally is the other Phillies station but had nothing to do with the Phillies last night. Weird. I rebooted the cable box, but that didn't help. With the score 8-1 at that point, I was hoping to enjoy a nice leisurely blowout of the Mets, but since the game was in hand, I decided to watch the end of the Kevin Spacey/Danny DeVito film "The Big Kahuna". If it had been close, I would have stayed downstairs. Really, I would have.

Wolfie takes on Jae Seo tonight at Shea. Wolfie pitched great against the Mets earlier this season, taking a shutout into the ninth. The Marlins and Braves have given him plenty of trouble, but that's to be expected. The Phillies are still four and a half behind Florida, who pounded Atlanta last night. Still plenty of time. Go Big Ryan!

CAN'T TRUST THAT DAY

Golf: no. Great pitcher's duel at Shea: yes, after I went to bed. Terry Adams getting his pink slip: I hope so.

Obviously, I missed the whole thing. It started raining as I left work, and it was far too cold and windy anyway to hit the little white ball. The game was on Rain Delay (a gripping Fran Healy interview with the immortal...Gary Sheffield?) until I packed it in at 9 PM, ailing from pollen overload. It looks like Lieber left after six innings with the score tied 1-1. Manuel called on the only righty he had left after yesterday who could pitch middle relief, The Thing, Terry Adams. As many other Phillies bloggers have wondered, why does Ed Wade keep giving guys like this second and third chances? He bombed out in Boston, failing to make their playoff roster, but now somehow he's good enough for the Phillies. Well, good enough for Carlos Beltran to smack a three-run shot to deep right off of him. Nice job in talent evaluation, boys. The Phillies never recovered, and lost 5-1.

Tonight it's Brett Myers vs. Tom Glavine. If we're lucky, Glavine will be too concerned with Bud Selig's latest steroids plan to concentrate on the game.

Welcome to the world my new grand niece, Anna Michelle (photos not immediately available)! Thank goodness you're a Red Sox fan.

BECKETT PLAY

The Phillies were not waiting for anything against Josh Beckett yesterday, certainly not me. By the time I tuned in, in the car on the way to the driving range after listening to Harry Shearer's "Le Show", the Phils were ahead 5-0. Bobby Abreu, who we'll discuss later, hit a three-run shot before Beckett had retired a batter, and super subs Tomas Perez and Todd Pratt added RBI singles. The Marlins made a game of it while I was warming up with my second-hand "Senior" Calloway driver (if the driver fits...) at the Ed "Porky" Oliver Golf Course. Now, if a guy raises to the level of having a golf course named after him, wouldn't his family insist that the "Porky" part be left off? This once again illustrates that Delaware is a southern state, or at least something "other" than Pennsylvania or New Jersey. Oh yeah, baseball. The Fish drew to within 5-3 in the third on an Alex Gonzalez homer (he now has one more than Bobby again) and a Carlos Delgado sac fly of the D Train, who had gone into pinch hit for Beckett and singled.

Two was as close as Florida would get today, though. Lidle was fairly sharp, not overpowering but generally in command, with no walks and 5 K's. Ryan Madson bailed him out of a sixth inning jam and pitched a prefect seventh before giving way to the rapidly declining Tim Worrell. Those two may be flip-flopping roles very soon, or at least should be. Worrell only managed to get one out while leaving the tying runs on for Daddy Wags, who was once again forced to try for a save of more than three outs due to Timmy's ineffectiveness. Not to worry, at least not yet. Wags arrived to the usual strains of "Enter Sandman", and immediately induced Mike Lowell to bounce into an inning-ending DP. Billy mowed 'em down 1-2-3 in the ninth for an 8-6 final and his sixth save, and has yet to allow an earned run. We'd be in deep shit without him, to put it bluntly.

Meanwhile, this morning, I read a possible explanation for Bobby's horrid (only 1 HR) April: his former Miss Universe fiance was caught fooling around with some guy on a Venezuelan reality TV show. He's managed to avoid the press in Philly, where the fans couldn't find Venezuela on a map if you spotted them the continent, but he's expecting a crush of media when the Phils head to New York today. Apparently, it's huge news in Latin America, where Abreu is something of a superstar. He should be a superstar here, but he has doggedly refused to improve his English, and his easy-going style translates to lackadaisicalness with the overheated knuckleheads who have WIP on speed dial. Bobby is a great, great player, and I hope he manages to put this behind him. Plus, I need him to get hot for my Strat team next year.

Two aces go tonight at Shea: Lieber vs. Pedro. The weather looks good for golf, too. Not bad for a Monday.

RAIN, MAN

We went to the Blue Rocks game with the sky still looking threatening and a few drops of drizzle coming down. We figured we'd either see a game, or at least pick up our rain checks at the Will Call window. Surprisingly, the parking lot was jammed, and we picked up our tickets and sat down in our box seats along the third base line. It started pouring worse than ever right about at game time. A grade school marching band played the anthem while I ran out to the car to grab the free Blue Rocks umbrellas we got last year. The grounds crew was putting the tarp down as I got back, and we sat desultorily for about a half hour under the umbrellas. Finally, the rain abated, they pulled off the tarp, and it was time to play ball.

That lasted about one half-inning. After the Winston-Salem pitcher completed his warmups in the bottom of the first, the rain started up in earnest again, and the umps called everyone in after Rocks shortstop Iggy Suarez hit a groundout. We sat for a few more minutes listening to rain-themed pop songs blaring from the loudspeaker, and then went home.

The Phillies fared a little better, or worse, I suppose. They started on time, and got a few innings in before their first rain delay. The bottom of the Marlins order conspired for two runs in the second on a LoDuca walk, a Lowell double, and a Gonzalez 2-run single. We got one back in the fourth when Gonzalez blew a double-play ball by Thome, allowing Burrell to take third. Lieby then bounced into a fielder's choice to score Pat. Then some more rain.

They played the fifth, and were delayed again, and by then it was 10 PM, so I went to bed. Apparently they also played the sixth before finally deciding to call it at 2-1. Another loss. So, like the little league team we are, we lose in six innings. I hope they got some ice cream.

Today's matchup as we try to avoid the sweep is their ace, Josh Beckett vs. our number four, Cory Lidle. Lidle's been OK this year, and Beckett, though often overpowering, doesn't win as often as you would think. I'll be out hitting golf balls getting ready for the golf season, which starts tomorrow in our work league. I'll catch as much as I can on the car radio. We need this one bad. Six games out on May 1st is a lot worse than four games out on May 1st. Ok, both are terrible, but you have to have some hope.

ERASERHEAD

Sometimes I wish I could erase all the memories I have of the Phillies, or at least go back in time and change my rooting destiny. Tonight was one of those nights. After I got home from work, my wife and I watched "Peggy Sue Got Married" on one of the outer Cinemax channels. We watch old movies on cable quite a bit, or at least I do. If "All The President's Men" is on, I'll drop whatever I'm doing, enraptured.

Back to the game. Right after Kathleen Turner woke up in her hospital bed still married to Nic Cage, we went out for pizza and ice cream (I think they call that the Bruce Froemming Diet), and I missed the top of the first. Wolfie had his usual lack of success against the Marlins, giving up a homer to journeyman infielder Damion Easley, and then a two-run shot to Juan Encarnacion. On the radio on the way home from the ice cream place, I heard my man Miguel Cabrera launch an upper-decker off Wolf to give the Makaira nigricans a 4-0 advantage. Resigned to another wasted evening, I watched my backlog of DVR shows, hoping the Phils would stage a comeback, but it was 5-1 when I checked back in. The Marlins added another run to make it 6-1 before my other man, the Chaser, hit a dinger to bring the Phillies within 6-2.

About that time, "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind" started up on Cinemax. I'd been waiting for a while to see this flick, nearly buying it on Pay-Per-View a few times. This is the film where Jim Carrey signs up with a company to completely erase all the memories of his girlfriend, played by Kate Winslet. Like I mentioned earlier, what happened in the eighth and ninth innings made me wistful for such a procedure. Philadelphia drew to within two when Jim Thome hit a laser beam over Juan Pierre in center with the bases loaded to score Michaels and Rollins. That put runners on second and third with only one out. Pat Burrell, still nursing his leg injury but in the lineup, couldn't make contact, and whiffed, leaving it up to the Chaser. Trader Jack McKeon smartly walked Utley and brought in former Phillie Todd Jones to face the far less dangerous David Bell. Jones wasn't worth a damn when he was with us, but he managed to get Bell on a meek pop-up to center to snuff out the rally.

Then came the ninth. Lieby actually got a hit, and with one out, Rollins smacked what should have been a sure double down the first base line. Lieberthal had to hold up at first to make sure Carlos Delgado didn't catch the liner, and then ran with his usual sloth toward third. Meanwhile, Rollins hesitated rounding first as Lieby hauled his burgeoning girth around second, not sure if he could make it. Once Rollins saw that Lieby was going to be safe at third, he finally sped up and headed toward second. Damion Easley took the cut off from Encarnacion, whirled around and saw that Rollins was nowhere close to second, and fired to Gonzalez covering to nail him. NO! Two outs. Why isn't somebody with functioning legs running for Lieberthal there? We've still got Pratty on the bench to come in and catch. Actually, it looks like we were out of players. Ok, why are we out of players in the ninth inning? I think Manuel just blew that one. In any case, Polanco came up next and walked, bringing the winning run to the plate in Bobby Abreu. For some reason, McKeon left Jones in there, even though Guillermo Mota is their closer. Bobby took a strike, fouled off another, took a ball, and then went down swinging. Ball game. We lose to the Marlins again.

You can't really say we blew that one. 6-4 is not exactly the score of a game you let get away. Still, we could have won with some better managing decisions, better baserunning, and certainly, better pitching from Wolfie. Tonight it's the D Train against (oh no) Padilla. I think I'll be wanting to forget tonight's game, too. So, where do I sign up for that memory erasing thing?

NO BALL TODAY

I spent my evening away from baseball at Quest For Tech, where I secured two tickets to a Wilmington Blue Rocks game this Saturday via their DSL connection. The person to whom we give out this computer will probably be very confused as to how www.bluerocks.com got into their Internet Explorer history. One of the founders also had me look up ticket availability for a QFT outing later in the year to Citizens Bank Park. This will probably be the only time I go this year, since my wife, being a genteel Southern lady, hates Philly fans. She does like the QFT people, though, and even volunteers with me. She likes going to Blue Rocks games as well, since Delaware people are almost Southern, for all intents and purposes, and behave far better than the puerile denizens of Broad and Pattison.

I'm also looking forward to my first MLB game of the year in two weeks at Don't Call It Enron Field in Houston, where the Astros will take on the Giants, sans Barry. My wife and I are heading to Houston, me on business and she visiting family. I've been to D.C.I.E. Field twice before. The concourses are huge and spotless, and the grass is a noticeably bright green compared to the old Astrodome, but the fans are the same old transplant idiots who can't show up on time, can't stay in their seats for more than an inning and can only cheer when the scoreboard tells them to. Still, it's a pretty park, and I can't wait to see a real major league game again. My next foray into the majors will be at, of all places, Oakland Coliseum, scene of the '73 Mets' final curtain. My wife and I have booked a vacation to the Bay Area for late June/early July, and a ball game was my only prerequisite. The Athletics will face the Mariners in what should be, if nothing else, an intra-divisional game if not a heated rivalry. Plus, I'll get to see the traveling circus freak act that is Ichiro, or "Ichiro!", as Baseball Prospectus calls him. Aside from these two games and the QFT outing to Citizens, I'm hoping to get down to RFK for at least one game this year. They sell killer french fries at the concession stands there, and there are no bad seats in that venerable old dump.

A day off for Baseball Dreaming. Ain't it great?

TOP TEN REJECTED GEORGE W. BUSH NEW ENERGY PLAN IDEAS

10. Build refineries on the site of crumbling inner-city schools
    
9. Home nuclear kits
   
8. All-coal-powered Internet
   
7. Have Halliburton build a pipeline to the Sun
   
6. Encourage hillbillies to dig for oil, move to Beverly
   
5. Recover biodiesel from Tom DeLay's hair
   
4. Off-shore drilling wherever we don't have a vacation home or we aren't governor of
   
3. Build refineries on the site of polling places in the Blue States
   
2. Saudi America!
   
1. And the number one rejected George W. Bush new energy plan idea is:
   When driving your Hummer a half a block down the street to pick up a DVD for your monster new home entertainment system and to buy some ice cream to put in your new giant freezer and to buy some more refrigerant for your central air conditioner, consider also picking up some light bulbs for the three spare bedrooms in your new $600,000 house so you don't have to make two trips