I'M BACK, YOU SNIPER JOKE FIENDS



Yes, I have returned after a full day of ... (shudder) working...at my (shudder even more) job. The only thing to cure what ails me is: more sniper jokes!



(You're right, I reworked this joke for maximum funny. Even then it still sucks, but it's my site so I can do what I want.)

John Allen Muhammed and John Lee Malvo could potentially be put on trial for murder in 4 states. Combine them with the Rolling Stones, and you've got two groups of soon-to-be-dead guys going on tour.



Chief Moose, when asked if he was relieved at the successful outcome of the investigation, replied, "I'd rather not answer that for fear of jeopardizing the case, but please, I ask the media to relay this message to my wife and repeat it often: My duck wants to get caught in your noose. She'll know what it means."



Amid reports that John Allen Muhammad was once in the US Army, the military has shelved plans to expand it's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy to homicidal maniacs.