WE TOOK IT ONE CLICHE AT A TIME



Congratulations to the Anaheim Angels, 2002 World Champions! I picked them to finish last and said they had a "Benji Gil" problem, so it shows you what I know. If you managed to stay up until almost midnight on the east coast and hear the post-game quotes, you probably heard the usual array of hackneyed phrases that athletes use when some perky host or hostess thrusts a microphone in their face. Well, here at The Crossbow Project, we have exclusive quotes from the other end of the baseball spectrum, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, who finished with a record of 55-106. The comparisons are startling.



ANGELS' GARRET ANDERSON



"I can't believe it, man. It's been a long year -- a testament to the guys who never gave up.''



DEVIL RAYS' TANYON STURTZE



"You talk about a long year, try losing 106. We gave up almost every game. Some of the guys would order ahead at Chili's in the 8th inning so they could pick up take out on the way home."



ANGELS' TROY PERCIVAL



"Unbelievable for us, for our fans. This team has worked as hard as any team ever. We deserve it.''



DEVIL RAYS' ANDY SHEETS



"We didn't work at all. Maybe at Nintendo. We put in a lot of hours there. We even lost at that. Guys would have fistfights over EA Sports MLB 2002 so that they didn't have to be the Devils Rays."



ANGELS' TROY GLAUS



"Without everybody contributing, doing their job, understanding what they were supposed to do, we wouldn't be here."



DEVIL RAYS' RANDY WINN



"We had a bunch of guys who never learned the signs. We had at least two coaches who called everybody 'bro' all year long. I don't think they even bothered to learn our names. Not that many of us stayed on the roster very long. Half of us were up and down from Triple A so many times, they kept a room open at the local Budgetel and guys would just exchange the keys as they came and went."



ANGELS' TIM SALMON



"I got to know he's (former owner and founder Gene Autry, who died in 1998) pulling strings for us up there."



DEVIL RAYS' STEVE COX



"Who even owns us? Vince Naimoli? Is he, you know, connected?