SCENES FROM LAST NIGHT'S "SOPRANOS" IF HBO HAD MERGED WITH ANOTHER NETWORK



This is the latest in a series here at TCP presenting extra scenes from last night's episode of "The Sopranos" that would have been shown if HBO had merged with another network. This week's network is FOX.



SCENE: Paulie visits his childhood friend, who is the principal at a high school.



EXTRA SCENE: In a scene written by David E. Kelley, we learn more about the high school. It's an inner city school where the kids are all tough, but with hearts of gold, one of the teachers is Fyvush Finkel, and all the rest of the teachers are young and extremely good looking.



SCENE: Paulie's enforcers chase the school principal down the hallway.



EXTRA SCENE: This is only one scene of an hour-long episode of "When Mob Goons Attack".



SCENE: Tony has an afternoon fling with Ralphie's new girlfriend, Valentina.



EXTRA SCENE: Later, in another scene written by David E. Kelley, Valentina becomes anorexic and imagines Ralphie dancing naked with a dildo up his ass to the beginning of "Hooked On A Feeling".



SCENE: Tony, Paulie, and Silvio are having dinner with their goomahs.



EXTRA SCENE: In still yet another scene written by David E. Kelley*, the three mobster girlfriends are really lawyers who live together in a palatial apartment and pout a lot while wearing their underwear.



SCENE: Tony sings a passage from the song "Eclipse" from Pink Floyd's "Dark Side Of The Moon" to himself in the shower.



EXTRA SCENE: Paula Abdul lavishes praise, but Simon Cowell calls it the most wretched performance by the most disgusting pile of blubber he's ever seen, whereupon Tony shoves a .45 in Simon's mouth and blows his brains out.



*I can't even come up with a weblog entry this weekend, and this guy has three TV shows going. And he's married to Michelle Pfeiffer. Oh how I hate him so.



NEXT WEEK'S NETWORK: MSNBC