SCENES FROM LAST NIGHT'S "SOPRANOS" IF HBO HAD MERGED WITH ANOTHER NETWORK



This is the latest in a series here at TCP presenting extra scenes from last night's episode of "The Sopranos" that would have been shown if HBO had merged with another network. This week's network is HGTV.



SCENE: Christopher shoots up some smack and then sits on Adriana's dog, killing it.



EXTRA SCENE: "Designing for the Sexes" helps Christopher and Adriana mediate their home decorating dispute. After looking at several options, Christopher finally decides to hang the architect out the window from his ankles while demanding a 90% discount as Adriana bawls hysterically in the bedroom.



SCENE: Tony and Johnny Sack meet under a bridge to discuss the HUD scam.



EXTRA SCENE: Susie Cuehlo from "Surprise Gardener" pops in to liven up the mob meeting landscape. This is the final episode of "Surprise Gardener", if you know what I mean.



SCENE: Paulie Walnuts rescues Tony's painting of Pie-O-My from being burned and hangs it on his wall, then has it retouched so that Tony looks like a general.



EXTRA SCENE: Joan Steffend of "Decorating Cents", where Joan remakes a room every show for "under $500", buys the painting from Paulie for $50 after the eyes continue to creep him out. Paulie later reconsiders the transaction, and for the next six months of shows, Joan has to include $100 vigorish for Paulie in the $500 total.



SCENE: Carmela drops off some kitchen decorating ideas to Furio.



EXTRA SCENE: Furio hires Joan Kohn from "Kitchen Design" to implement the ideas. Carmela comes over to check it out with A.J. in tow. Carmela and Furio exchange meaningful glances while A.J. whines in the background. "Kitchen Design" is cancelled because it's become so incredibly lame.



SCENE: Tony seduces Svetlana, the one-legged Russian woman.



EXTRA SCENE: While Tony and Svetlana are having sex, Norm Abram from the "New Yankee Workshop" accidentally uses Svetlana's artificial leg to make a flower stand.



NEXT WEEK'S NETWORK: The Food Network