SCENES FROM LAST NIGHT'S "SOPRANOS" IF HBO HAD MERGED WITH ANOTHER NETWORK



This is the last (thank you God) in a series here at TCP presenting extra scenes from last night's episode of "The Sopranos" that would have been shown if HBO had merged with another network. This week's network is MTV.



SCENE: Irina calls Carmela to tell her that Tony has been having sex with her one-legged cousin, Svetlana.



EXTRA SCENE: Irina hangs up and calls Sharon Osbourne to tell her that Ozzy has been having sex with Svetlana's artificial leg.



SCENE: Tony sleeps at the shore house he is trying to buy after Carmela throws him out.



EXTRA SCENE: "Cribs" pops in to profile Tony's shore house. The highlight of the episode is when Tony repeatedly introduces one of the crew members to the bottom of the toilet bowl in his own unique way.



SCENE: Tony, Chris, Carmine, and Johnny Sack meet in the park to discuss a compromise on the HUD scam.



EXTRA SCENE: Johnny Knoxville and the boys from "Jackass" show up to tell the mobsters that they have the whole thing on tape, and then run like hell.



SCENE: Tony's guys on his yacht "The Stugotz" blast Dean Martin music at the lawyer who owns the shore house Tony no longer wants to buy because the lawyer won't return the deposit.



EXTRA SCENE: "Shore Thing Summer Sopranos Style" continues with a Frank Sinatra look-a-like contest, guest appearances by Ann-Margret and Joey Bishop, and a special TRL with Luciano Pavarotti in a Speedo.



This is it for the 4th season of "The Sopranos". This lame bit will be back next season, if this weblog makes it that long before dying of apathy and self-loathing. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everybody!