TO INFINITY, AND BEYOND!



Pretend President George W. Bush has ordered that the national missile defense system be put into operation. In a statement, Bush said his goal was to "protect our citizens against what is perhaps the greatest danger of all -- catastrophic harm that may result from hostile states or terrorist groups armed with weapons of mass destruction and the means to deliver them." The decision came despite last week's failure of an anti-missile test over the Pacific Ocean.



In related news, the President has also ordered the following systems be put into operation:



- The Ronald W. Reagan Memorial Perpetual Motion Machine. "All of our energy worries will be solved, as soon as our crack scientists in the Pentagon overcome the 2nd law of thermodynamics," said an excited Bush.



- The Henry Hyde Memorial Cold Fusion Reactor. "Well, you know, in case the Perpetual Motion Machine doesn't cut it," the President related.



- The Bob Barr Memorial Escher Building. "It'll be great for fitness buffs. You can walk up stairs all day and never go anywhere," added Mr. Bush.



(Yes, I was able to post my usual dreck after all. The safety meeting didn't last as long as I thought. Just remember, you can't get half-formed, ill-considered jokes as good as these anywhere else, so keep coming back!)