DAVID MANNING: "LOVED IT, UH, THEM, WHATEVER!"



In an unprecedented move, the films "National Security" and "Kangaroo Jack" agreed to merge, forming the film "National Jack".



Columbia Pictures and Warner Brothers, which released the two films, agreed to the merger yesterday after analyzing data from advanced screenings. "We've established that the two films have essentially the same story, the same characters, and the same theme, and are equally as lousy, and that it would be foolish to show the films separately in twice as many theaters as they can support," said a spokesman.



According to the merger agreement drawn up by the two parties, the merger will be accomplished by editing .466 frames of "National Security" in with every frame of "Kangaroo Jack". "Kangaroo Jack" Producer Jerry Bruckheimer added, "I was actually thinking of moving the whole thing to Los Angeles and hiring Martin Lawrence to play the Kangaroo, so this move is really the best of all possible worlds."



The two companies have announced that synergies from combining the two films could run into the tens of millions.