Every village has to have its idiot, and Preston Lit is Philadelphia's. It's a pretty impressive honor to be the village idiot of the nation's fifth largest city, so let's see what Mr. Lit has done to deserve it.
- In 1996, he harrassed a male news reporter for the local NBC affiliate who he was in love with and thought was Jesus, and led police on a 120-mile high speed chase.
- Placed a fake bomb in a mailbox in 2002.
- Barked like a dog and turned over a table during court proceedings after that arrest.
- Missed his parole hearing last month, then dumped trash all over his yard.
- Placed a fake bomb in a mailbox in Northeast Philadelphia last week.
- Left several suspicious packages at the Philadelphia International Airport last week.
- Checked into a hotel room last night and sprayed grafitti all over the walls and left a package for Al-Qaeda.
The FBI and the Philadelphia Police Department, seemingly more amused than alarmed, have not yet apprehended Mr. Lit, and he remains on the loose, both literally and figuratively. So if you see any stark raving lunatics carrying paper bags and muttering religious-themed love sonnets to Steve Levy, please return him to Philadelphia. We need our idiot back. Oh, we have several other candidates ready to step in, but it just wouldn't be the same without Preston. Thanks.
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