GOOD WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT

Amhed Chalabi, leader of the anti-Saddam lobbying group known as the Iraqi National Congress and member of the Iraqi Governing Council, was profiled today in the NY Times.

It's a two-pager, but somewhere on the second page, the Times conveys this rather startling fact:

"Nevertheless, the Department of Defense continues to pay his organization $340,000 a month to gather intelligence in Iraq. "

Let's see...Chalabi feeds the Pentagon a bunch of lies, and gets, um, doing the math here...carry the one...two and half shitloads of money. Hey, I can do that! Finally, my ticket to the good life. Hey, Rummy, try this on for size:

- Osama Bin Laden was staying in my basement. He took off and said he was heading to San Antonio for the Final Four, though, so you just missed him.

- Um, there's like a bunch of guys with heavy guns and rockets and bombs and stuff, like, in Najaf, or Umm Qasr, or Ramalamadingdong, or some place. And they look pissed.

- That guy you caught in the spider hole was a double. Saddam is hanging out with Martha Stewart in the Hamptons, planning an extremely tasteful yet vicious revolt.

So, Pentagon brass, what do you say? I'm thinking a quarter of a mil for all three pieces of intelligence, or $100,000 sold separately. And I'll take one those Comanche helicopters off your hands, while we're at it. I need to cut my commute time.