Former terrorist czar Richard Clarke went on "60 Minutes" last night to claim that President Bush has done "a terrible job" fighting terrorism. In response, the White House trotted out National Security Adviser Condi Rice this morning on "Good Morning America", "Today", and "The Early Show" and possibly "Romper Room" for all we know to refute the charges. Among other things, she noted that Clarke, who at the time was the leading anti-terrorist expert at the White House, "wasn't involved in most of the meetings of the administration." Touché, Dick!
Anyway, Condi's whirlwind tour of the Diane & Charlie/Katie & Matt/Some Guy & A Random Blonde Chick triumvirate is only the beginning of the balls-out assault by the Bush Administration and its well-funded character evisceration apparatus. Here's a preview of some of the charges the Bushies will be leveling at Mr. Clarke:
- Performed a gay marriage ceremony between Richard Gere and a guinea pig.
- Was seen laughing hysterically at "The Passion Of The Christ".
- Trades abortion videos on Kazaa.
- Named illegimate son with Jane Fonda after Osama Bin Laden.
- Once burned a flag by striking a match on a broken chunk of the Alabama Ten Commandments monument.
- Had anal sex with a welfare mother while simultaneoulsy smoking crack and shooting up heroin at a Kim Jong Il Fan Club meeting on national broadcast television.
- Is actually the former host of American Bandstand without hair dye:
Oooh. That last one might stick.
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