BOSSED WEEKEND

What has it been, Wednesday since I posted? Seems like a month. I've spent most of the last four days installing chair rail and crown moulding in our formal dining room with the assistance, for the most part, of my lovely wife, for whom this project has been seemingly a life-long dream. Boy, have I learned a lot! Mainly, I've learned that I never want to install chair rail and crown moulding ever again, and that I should keep that feeling to myself.

The Phils, meanwhile, have been stinking up the joint while I've been making joints. Chair rail and crown moulding joints, I mean. I could use the other kind about now. They actually started off my long weekend of home improvement hell with a win against the even sadder Rockies. Jim Thome finally hit a homer, and Jon Lieber, the only pitcher we've got other than maybe Myers and Billy Wags worth a damn so far, got his fourth straight win, 6-3.

Turner Field has never been particularly kind to the Phillies of late, and this recent three-game set was no exception. On Friday, the Phils got a first-inning run off Mike Hampton, but then gave it right back in the bottom of the first, and three more in the fourth. Brett Myers, who had heretofore been outstanding, looked like vintage Myers tonight, in this case meaning terrible. He was rushing his delivery and looking fidgety, as if everything he had picked up from ace Jon Lieber was left back in the Citizen's Bank Park bullpen. Hampton continued his dominance, going 8-2/3 until giving way to Danny Kolb for the final out to quell a minor Phillies rally. The Braves won 6-2, and the Phillies were below .500 for what may be a very long time.

The Braves pressed their advantage Saturday, roughing up Wolfie early for a five-run first and knocking him out after four full innings. Enter the spectre of Gavin Floyd, the latest Wade untouchable to suffer a dastardly fate. Floyd went walk, double, walk, single, fly out, single, walk, sac fly before being mercifully pulled and sent straight to Scranton/Wilkes Barre to sort things out. When the carnage ended, the Braves had a 10-1 lead on their way to an easy 11-1 win. Tim Hudson recorded his second win as a Brave, going six innings before turning it over to the back of the Braves bullpen.

This Floyd debacle shows how the Mind Of Ed Wade works. Any other GM faced with the dilemma of one too many starters would trade one of them to get a legitimate setup man or another middle reliever, but Wade wants to have it both ways. He wants to keep Floyd up with the big club, but not give him a rotation spot and pitch him in relief, which would be fine if he gave him a set role and stuck with it. But now that Floyd has been raked twice in a row in that role, he panics and ships him down to S/WB to "get in some starts". Make up your mind, Ed! Who cares if the kid gets bombed in a couple of blowouts? Keep at it. Give him a chance. Either that or trade Padilla or Lidle or Wolf for somebody you can actually use. One or the other, Ed. Now, we have Floyd pitching meaningless innings in northeastern PA, and Geoff Geary, who hasn't done squat in several chances, malingering in the pen. I just don't get it.

More of the same on Sunday. I veged out all afternoon, exhausted and with too many coping saw injuries to count, and completely missed this one. I'm glad I did. John Thomson, who took a break from churning out deck sealant, shut down the Phillies already anemic offense to the tune of 4-0. Padilla made it all the way to the fourth inning this time before giving way to Ryan Madson. Madson, Cormier, and Terry "The Thing" Adams actually pitched shutout ball for five innings, so that was encouraging. Nevertheless, this third straight loss drops the Phils to 8-11, three games back of Florida. Well, we have the same record as the Yankees, and you know they'll win the division. Oh yeah, they have good players. Almost forgot.