WRIGHT IS RIGHT?

I don't have a pick in the draft today (day 12 of 20...even I'm getting sick of it, and the draft is the best part of the league), so we'll look at how the club did in Spring Training yesterday.

Everybody's favorite suddenly powerless poster boy, David Wright, smacked a homer against the Cardinals in a 17-11 Mets win.  He hit it off an NRI named Evan MacLane, though, so I can't get too excited.

Kenshin Kawakami went two scoreless against Pittsburgh.  Again, not a terribly difficult feat, but encouraging.

Love this quote from Hunter Pence, who went double-homer-single in 3 AB:  "I love the game. I had trouble sleeping last night," Pence said, drawing a chuckle from teammate Michael Bourn. "I know everyone will make fun of me, but I was very excited and it feels good to get out and play some baseball and play well."  Maybe that is the Astros' problem.  You claim to love the game and your teammates laugh at you.

Brian Matusz struck out four of the five hitters he faced.  The other one...uh, not so good.  Sean Rodriguez took him deep.  We should see alot of that at Camden Yards this year.

Luke Gregerson had a spotless inning against the Mariners, with one K.

Kosuke Fukudome singled and doubled at HoHoKam Park.  Great name for a ball park.

Why do the Angels have so many guys named F Rodriguez?  They got rid of one, and now they have two more, the other Francisco and Fernando.

I think we may get only our second draft-pick time-out.  The league physician is up, and he may be with a patient.  Come on man, what's more important here?

SLINGER SAGA

In light of moving this entity of suck to Blog*Spot, I have decided to start writing in it again.  In this incarnation, I will chronicle my underachieving Strat-O-Matic team, the San Antonio Gunslingers.  First, a brief history.  The United States Strat Platoon started in the winter of 1993 on the 16-bit graphical interface of Prodigy, an unbeloved and long since vanished "on-line service", as such dinosaurs were called.  Prodigy, Compuserve, MSN, and AOL were islands of content that could be reached only by telephone modem and only by signing up for an exclusive account.  AOL was probably the flashiest, but it also was the biggest resource hog on your computer, and they were constantly sending you CD's in the mail to get you to sign up.  Compuserve was one of the earliest and had a nice, simple clean Windows interface, but the information content and interactivity with other users was pretty sparse.  MSN was Microsoft's fairly late attempt to get into the game, and was not very well executed.  Prodigy was my service of choice, because of the number and the varied interests of users and for all the ways you could interact with them.  It was also colorful, simple, and easy-to-use and navigate, and relatively cheap.

In 1993, about the time I was starting to date my future wife, I joined an interest group on Prodigy for Strat-O-Matic players.  Strat is a Major League Baseball simulation game that began in the 1960's as a card and dice game, and had evolved by the 1990's into a crude computer game.  I won't go into much detail about Strat itself, which is too broad a topic to cover in a blog post; suffice it to say that it was a routine early-year obsession for me from the age of about 9 to obtain the new player cards for the most recent season and start playing a carefully crafted schedule of games between the best teams, dice roll by dice roll, until a champion was crowned sometime in May.  When the computer game came out in the early 90's, I could pick and choose the games I wanted to play "by hand", as it were, while the computer played the rest automatically.  This was a fundamental change that allowed me to play a much bigger schedule of games, but that took some of the fun out of the whole endeavor.  I didn't "own" the whole process any more, and it seemed to get out of my control, and wasn't as enjoyable.  By 1993, I was looking for a new way to play Strat that would allow me to use the best features of the computer game, but still give that sense of excitement that I had in the early days.  The Prodigy interest group presented the perfect answer: join a league with other players and play by e-mail.

I had heard of play-by-mail leagues throughout my adolescence, but that idea seemed hideously cumbersome.  You would play games against the other players using their mailed instructions, and then mail out the results to the league commissioner.  All this paper would be flying back and forth, and some poor sap would have to tabulate all the results by hand.  I never felt like I was obsessed enough or had enough time to go through all that pain and suffering, and I kept my game-playing to myself.  With Prodigy, however, there was a way to e-mail instructions and game results files and tabulate everything electronically.  It seemed like the wave of the future, and I jumped on enthusiastically.  The other guys in the league were all about my age, early-to-mid 20's, some married, some with kids already, some still single and just out of college or med school (yes, we did, and still do, have a league physician).  Most were originally from the Northeast or had some Yankee ties of some sort.  We had a couple of Californians, a fellow Texan, a Floridian, and even an Alaskan.  The first commissioner was a brash kid named Mike who I believe was still in college, or at least of college age.

There were sixteen original members.  We all spent about a month hashing out the format and original constitution of the league, with Mike going off on long rants why things should be this way or that.  As the process dragged on, I began to think Mike was a little unstable, as did many of the other original members.  A few other of the older, more reasonable guys started taking firmer control of things and eventually we got through the birthing process well enough to schedule the initial draft.  The first draft was serpentine, with each team being assigned a number from 1 to 16, and the picks proceeding from 1 to 16 and then 16 to 1 and so on.  I was number 11.  To this day, I think this number explains a lot about my mediocrity in the league.  It wasn't a high number, where I could get Ken Griffey, Jr., or Randy Johnson, and it wasn't a low number, where I could get two really good players early.  It was somewhere in between, where I could get second-tier star early, and a third-tier star in the second round 10 picks later.  The other problem was, I knew nothing whatsoever about properly evaluating player talent (and I still don't pretty much).  

My first selection was Padres 1B Fred McGriff.  This was supposed to be my Bopper, a guy who could deliver those three-run homers so coveted by the likes of Earl Weaver.  In round 2, I took the Reds' hard-throwing righty, Jose Rijo.  He was my Stopper, a starting pitcher who could stop losing streaks.  In round 3, I took Expos CF Marquis Grissom, my Burner, a leadoff man who could get on base, play the outfield, and steal bases.  In the 4th round, I selected my Closer, Doug Jones, the portly junkballer from my home town team, Houston.  I figured with my Bopper, Stopper, Burner, and Closer, I had established the four main roles that any winning team needs, and the rest of the guys were pretty much filler.  Man, what a moron I was.  This strategy in and of itself wasn't so bad, but the guys I selected were terrible for these roles.  McGriff was a one-dimensional slugger who had just played his age 28 season and was headed for decline, and despite his commercials on ESPN for Tom Emanski's defensive drills, a lousy defensive player.  Jose Rijo wasn't a bad selection, but he had had a huge workload since he was 21, and two years later at 30 his career flamed out spectacularly.  Grissom's OBP of .322 was not high enough for a leadoff hitter.  And then there was Doug Jones...ugh.  He had been a journeyman reliever until he changed leagues in 1992, and his assortment of slop was baffling to National League hitters that year.  It should have been apparent to me that once the hitters adjusted, he would go back to being a glorified batting practice pitcher, which is a terrible occurence for a guy in a high leverage position like closer.

Predictably, with that feckless foursome as my "stars", that first year finished with an embarrassing 72-90 record, good for last place in my division.  Mike the commissioner quit after a couple of months, and the older, wiser Adam took over.  Adam remains one of only four owners I have ever met in person.  Adam gave way to JJ and then Drew (both of whom I have also met).  My turn is probably coming, since I am one of the last remaining original members.  In 1995, we expanded to the 20 teams we still have today.  As for my team, things have never much improved.  My highest winning percentage to date is .549, in 2005.  I have never had a 90-win season, and it's not looking good this year, either.  I have made some really ugly, lopsided trades that have set me back years, and I have never been able to select or acquire a decent starting pitching staff.  My first ever trade occurred in mid 1993, I believe.  I traded Fred McGriff, who I had become disillusioned with, and a promising young reliever, Mike Perez, for Shane Mack and Cal Eldred.  The killer of the deal was that I also gave up my 1st round pick in the next draft.  I really liked Eldred, and felt he could be a solid replacement for Rijo, who was in the process of washing out in Cincinnati when the trade was consummated.  If you recall, Eldred himself had all kinds of arm problems and never did amount to anything after a stellar half-season debut.  Mack was a complete waste, and I no longer had that coveted draft pick, which was a pretty high pick, to help recoup my losses.

I've made some other real bonehead draft picks and trades that spring to mind.  I selected Rick Ankiel when he was a pitching prospect in an early round of one draft.  I got one good MLB season out of him before he went all Nuke LaLoosh on the Mets in the 2000 playoffs and couldn't even hit the bull mascot if there was one.  I traded him for that noted wastoid, Travis Lee, and missed out on his good years as a CF with St. Louis.  I drafted Kosuke Fukudome with the 9th pick in the draft as recently as last season when I could have had Yunel Escobar.  That hasn't turned out well.  I'll just never learn.  I traded Jamie Moyer in 2002 for an extra first round pick, who I turned into K-Rod.  That was OK for a while, but then I re-drafted Moyer last year and they both had awful years in 2009 and now they both suck for me.

Well, that's the sort-of brief history.  I am currently picking 8th in this year's draft after another mediocre season.  Here is my team right now:

Hitters

Abreu, Bobby

Cabrera, Miguel 

Fukudome, Kosuke 

Gonzalez, Adrian 

Hill, Aaron 

Martin, Russell 

Pence, Hunter 

Quentin, Carlos 

Ramirez, Alexei 

Snyder, Chris

Torres, Andres - 2010 6th round draft pick

Uribe, Juan 

Wright, David

Pitchers

Buehrle, Mark

Millwood, Kevin - 2010 2nd round draft pick

Sanchez, Jonathan 

Kawakami, Kenshin 

Moyer, Jamie 

Miller, Andrew 

Matusz, Brian 

Oliver, Darren 

Ramirez, Ramon 

Rodriguez, Francisco 

Masset, Nick  - 2010 3rd round draft pick

Gregerson, Luke  - 2010 4th round draft pick

Mijares, Jose - 2010 5th round draft pick

Prospects

Crow, Aaron

Green, Grant 

Sheets, Ben 

Smoak, Justin 

White, Alex 

Perez, Martin  - 2010 1st round draft pick

Christian Colon  - 2010 4th round draft pick

I have some quality hitters there - Wright, Cabrera, Gonzalez, Hill, Abreu, and Pence.  Quentin has plantar fascitis and may never duplicate his earlier successes.  Alexei Ramirez is a decent SS, but not a star, and Russell Martin has suddenly turned into Jason Kendall after a great start.  Uribe and Fukudome are role players that will have more plate appearances for my team than they should.  Torres is a defensive replacement who clobbers lefties, which should be somewhat helpful.  The overall team defense is mediocre, especially at LF, CF, SS and 3B.  I do have three 1's with Gonzalez, Hill, and Martin.

As for the pitchers, it's such a horror show, I can't bear to look at it, but I will try.  Buehrle is serviceable, and Sanchez has some upside, but Kawakami and Millwood are strictly league-average innings munchers, and Moyer is a mess.  Brian Matusz could end up taking Buehrle's role as my "ace", such as it is.  We'll have to see what Ben Sheets can do in Oakland this year.  I've had Sheets for his whole career, and I've just about had enough of his constant injuries.  I think I've improved the bullpen going forward with Gregerson, Masset, and Mijares, but I always say that and it never seems to happen.  K-Rod might be on his last legs, or he might re-emerge as dominant if the Mets stay healthy this year, although with my history, you should bet on the former.

In the minors, I have high expectations for Justin Smoak and Martin Perez, and I think at least one or two of the other guys (Colon, Crow, Green, and White) will emerge as decent players.  I expect to fill the prospect coffers with my final few picks this year.

The draft is going pretty well for me, I think, although I would be one of the last persons you should ask.  I made a solid pick at #8 with Perez, who held his own at AA at the age of 18 and looks like the next Johan Santana.  I got Millwood to fill a gaping hole at Starting Pitcher, and I have improved the bullpen at least for the time being.  I took a flyer on Colon in the late fourth round.  He's been compared to Derek Jeter in terms of leadership, and he has all the numbers you would want from a college player.  Torres will platoon in CF with Fukudome, who is miserable against lefties.  I have pretty much finished building my 2010 team, and will now focus on either acquiring more prospects or trading for 2011 picks.  2010 looks like another down year because of inconsistent starting pitching.  If Sheets, Matusz, Buehrle, Sanchez and maybe even Millwood and Kawakami have good years, perhaps 2011 will look better.

In future posts, I will finish out the draft, follow my guys in Spring Training, and then detail the 2010 Strat and real seasons.  Gives me something to do, anyway.

DON'T READ THIS...AS IF YOU DO ANYWAY

I moved this here blerg to Blog*Spot, I think, and I am testing it out to see if I did in fact move it. So, so very important doings afoot.

ISN'T IT IRONIC

Well, now we know that at least 52% of Massachusetts voters have a pre-existing condition of stupidity. Which means they won't even realize why their health insurance policy was cancelled.

YEAH, STILL HERE

It's barely awake, but, yes, this thing still has life. Maybe in the new year, I will add some entries to it. Or perhaps not. In any case, I will leave you with our first ever embedded video:



If they have a funnier ad during the Super Bowl, I might just self-immolate with laughter.

THESE GIRLS ROCK

Well, it was a pretty degrading way to get a sponsor's exemption in the first place.

AND SOMEHOW, I KNOW THEY WANT TO

I love Facebook. Now the girls I was too shy to ask out in high school can keep tabs on the girls I was too shy to ask out in college.

UBUNTU VS WINDOWS 7 - ULTIMATE SMACKDOWN

Yeah, I know you want my take on this. You who never read this.

First, Ubuntu. I love the idea of Ubuntu, but the execution is lacking. The interface is great, installing is great, and the features that come with it are great (OpenOffice, FireFox, a huge library of open source software). Unfortunately, there are three very important things that it can't do for me. One is to recognize and take full advantage of my Asus motherboard with integrated ATI HDMI graphics and sound. When I hook up the Ubuntu PC to my TV, I get no sound. I tried looking for updated drivers, but there were none. There is no version of the ATI Catalyst Control Center that runs on Ubuntu. I can use the alternate speaker output and hook that up to a receiver, but that's not what I wanted. I bought an HDMI motherboard, and I want HDMI, dammit!

Secondly, I can't run Quicken on it. No chance, forget it, na gon do it. Intuit has not signed on to the open source revolution and never will. They have tethered their rope to Microsoft, and that's the end of that. I tried running an old version on one of the many Windows emulators you can download for Ubuntu, but it kept crashing. I gotta have that fresh new feature-rich version of Quicken. Actually, I'm sure I can find a passable alternative in the Ubuntu library, but I'm so used to Quicken and the way it can connect to my bank and download transactions flawlessly that I doubt that anything open source will work as well or as easily.

Thirdly, I am a Strat-O-Matic gamer, and Hal Richman and the incredibly customer-averse boys and girls in Glen Head can't even spell Ubuntu, let alone design a game for it. Windows or Mac are my only options, and why should I spend out the ass for a Mac? I'm not getting an HDMI Mac for under $1,000, while the PC I just bought was $600.

That leaves Windows 7. Wow. Can I repeat that? And more loudly. WOW. Now this is cool. There were absolutely no problems finding the Asus Motherboard drivers during installation and the HDMI worked perfectly the first time. I loaded the ATI Catalyst Control Center from the CD, and it worked fantastically well. I now have 42" of pure Windows 7 satisfaction, baby! If I wanted to run Quicken or Strat, I'm sure I could, although I haven't tried yet. I have those apps running on another Windows PC in my home office right now, and they will probably stay there.

I loaded iTunes and some, er, uh, other software that I use to get movies, and I downloaded a few. I fired the latter up on the new Windows Media Center. The picture and sound were amazing. This is a really nice movie and TV watching system. There is no Boxee for Windows yet, but the one for Ubuntu isn't exactly there yet either, so I'm not missing much. In fact, Boxee for Ubuntu caused my wireless keyboard and mouse to disappear when I tried it.

Probably the best part was when I got MLB.TV running. Come to Jesus! I can now watch the Mets in what is essentially the SNY or WPIX-11 High Def feed. It's virtually indistinguishable from the real thing, aside from some slight pixilation every so often. It'll only take me about 5 years for the computer to pay for itself when you factor the difference between MLB.TV and MLB Extra Innings on cable. Of course, in 5 years, you'll have the option of having MLB.TV beamed directly into your brain, or at least we can hope.

I've been playing around with the rest of Windows 7, and I really like it a lot. It's still Windows, with all those Gatesian annoying quirks, but man is it pretty and fast. You can load little gadgets that have the weather or sports scores, similar to what Ubuntu offers, and personalization is much easier than previous Windows versions. It's completely integrated into the Internet - almost everything you can click takes you to a web site somewhere for help or to download something. The dockable taskbar is way cooler than XP, and I really like the new file explorer. So far, it has run everything I've thrown at it, except for one thing - antivirus and security software. Norton, which is my provider of choice, only has free trial versions that will work with Windows 7, and they expire every two weeks. I glanced at some other options, but I don't want to have multiple subscriptions. I'll just keep uninstalling and installing the trial version until a real version is available. It's a minor inconvenience that I could do without, but at least it is free. This is probably the biggest disappointment so far, and one which Microsoft better get fixed fast, given their horrendous security track record and how entwined Windows 7 is with the web.

Verdict - if you have an HDTV, get a new computer, and get Windows 7. It works with every imaginable kind of hardware, it's super fast and reliable, and Windows Media Center is great. And grab an old laptop or a netbook and run Ubuntu to do your main surfing and e-mail so the viruses can't get you.

WHEN WILL THEY EVER GRADUATE? AND WILL THAT HELP?

Overheard from the guy who spends all day in the hallway on his cell phone counseling his kids at college:

Dropping a class at this point...

All the summer classes are full.

After my first year...

This is what John would do, he'd take the summer and transfer the grade, kna' mean?

It's a long summer, grant you, but it gets two necessary classes out of the way...

You gotta do it, you gotta do it...

It doesn't have to be next summer, but it'll be some summer.

When he gets it done doesn't matter.

Literature probably doesn't matter either way.

He's got six of those.

Any two literatures, doesn't matter.

It's the right thing to do.

Not five weeks of overlap, kna' mean?

"I've seen it, OK, I've seen it, OK."

Same book, same lab, plus what you got, plus what you kept, kna' mean?

"I gotta have it."

If for some reason, the ball isn't going your way, you don't get all six...

It's already been approved.

I know, but so what? So what?

You understand my point, though?

etc.

I hope this kid doesn't need marriage counseling in a few years.

NORTH TO...ZZZZZZ

I just stepped off a red-eye flight from Honolulu to Anchorage, the two most dissimilar cities with regular air service in this or any other possible universe. I'm sitting in the Ted "Free At Last" Stevens International Airport at the Era Aviation gate, which is about as comfortable as getting waterboarded by Henry Rollins. The hard, unforgiving plastic chairs are one thing, but the instrumental music that sounds like the soundtrack to a Kirk Cameron-directed remake of a Sergio Leone movie brings things to a whole other level.

Ha! I just noticed the "Monetize" tab in Blogger. If I had had that back in 2002 when this here web-a-log started, I might have, oh, 27 cents by now. It's a good thing I have an engineering degree. If I had to live off writing, I'd be...well, I probably wouldn't be sitting in a Marquis De Sade-designed airport waiting area in fucking Anchorage. Maybe I should do some rethinking.

The wilds of Kenai await! And that's just the Safeway. Those people in there are crazy.

MAUKA FRONT BLOGGING

Yeah, they put me facing the mountain this trip. I'm here in Oahu over the weekend, staying until Thursday night. I just got done with a turnaround here, and then I take a 6 hour flight to Anchorage and work another turnaround in Kenai. Finally I get to go home on May 8th, where my wife has something landscaping-related that is as bad as a turnaround planned for me, I'm sure.

Disney is busy building something here, which I can see out my window. It's right where the Pro Bowlers used to practice before Commissar Goodell moved the game to Miami. Apparently, it will be a hotel and condo development to compete with the JW Marriott Ihilani and the Marriott Beach Club. Cool! I hope we get a rate decrease, though somehow I doubt it. I'll definitely have to try it, assuming the rates are similar, and there's no reason they shouldn't be. Mickey don't get no premiums in Hawaii, brah.

We'll be moving into our new building in June. It has a Starbucks. I may be broke (and leaking hazelnut syrup from several orifices) by 2010.

"Little Dorrit" continues on PBS tonight. And I came 4,000 miles to see it!

OCEANFRONT BLOGGING

I am back at the Ihalani for like the 12th time. I now have enough Marriott points to buy a Sony Blu-Ray surround sound system with wireless speakers, but I will probably end up listening to my wife and blowing it on a vacation to the new JW Marriott that they are building two miles from my house. That pretty much sums up my life in a broad stroke. "We don't even have to board the dogs!" Yes, I know, honey, we don't have to board the dogs. Sigh.

The estimable proprietors of this here resort have seen fit to honor me with an ocean view room. This is the best room I've ever had here. I can see the main lagoon and parts of the other ones, plus the pool. If only it was a tad lower, the better to gawk at the wahine, but I shouldn't complain. Maybe I'll go to WalMart and buy some cheap binoculars.

I am still getting over my colorectal whatsis surgery, which still hurts like a mother when certain waste products pass through it. I took the remaining Vicodin from my surgical prescription with me just in case, but I haven't taken any. I'm thinking of going down to Waikiki and seeing what the tourists will pay me for it (and then buying some really good binoculars, perhaps).

Tomorrow my colleague and I undertake the task of loading the world's most confusing software on the control system out here. I'm scheduled for a week, but I am secretly hoping it takes longer now that I am in this room. Whoops! Missed a step, have to start all over! Damn!

Maybe I will post some more. Maybe not. Refresh often! Or don't!

THAT CAN'T BE GOOD

I knew we were in an economic crisis, but I had no idea it was affecting the sun! Does this mean we can forget about global warming now?

A.B.B. - BARACK OBAMA

Good luck and Godspeed, President-Elect Obama. You're gonna need it.

ANOTHER DAY ON THE ROCK

I'm writing in here only because it's too early to go to bed. I'm in Hawaii, and there is nothing on television. All the college football games are over, the ALCS Game 6 is done, and regular TV on Oceanic Time Warner Cable (are we all on a giant houseboat or something?) is hopeless. There is this one show worth watching called "Wahine Blue", on the Ocean Network, which consists almost entirely of footage of young local girls surfing, but it's not on right now. And I can only watch it so much, if you know what I mean.

I think I'll head over to Hulu and watch a few episodes of "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia". In glorious Lo-Def, with constant buffering because of my crappy Internet connection. I love this job!

A.B.B. 20

I think I have that right. It's been a while since I did an A.B.B., and not much has happened...har! It's about two hours before I have to go to bed, and I have nothing else to do, so let's have a look at the race. Wow, 20 days. Freaking unbelievable.

BARACK OBAMA

I think he's gonna win. I will probably blow it for him by publishing this, but he's successfully navigated the Scylla, Charybdis, and whatever the third debate can be compared to (the Santa Maria?), and he didn't start foaming at the mouth or chanting Koran verses, so he's the man to beat. Everybody in the media is trotting out the Bradley Effect, which was specious to begin with, and saying that white people will get the willies when they hit the voting booth, but I'm not buying it. I sure didn't get even one willy (willie?), and trust me, I am very, very white - almost ghostly. I can't believe he's ahead in Ohio AND Florida, and he might even have a shot in West By Gosh Virginia ("Almost Heavin'") , as my friend and former Mountaineer Stater Ziggy liked to say.

JOHN MCCAIN

Poor John. He's not a bad guy, and he's got a great sense of humor, but events have overtaken him. He was revealed as the incompetent leader he is when he a) picked Sarah "The Moose Whisperer" Palin as his running mate, and b) called a time-out (and ducked David Letterman) when the banking system tanked. Either or perhaps both of those choices will go down in history, like Michael Dukakis' snoopy helmet, as the turning point in what might have been a winning effort. I'm sorry, John. Go back to the Senate, and keep up that maverick spirit. And stay out of the Arizona sun, for crying out loud, you with the 47 melanomas.

Sarah, my dear, you should go back to Alaska and not come back until you're fully baked.

There you have it. Barring an October/very early November surprise (and you know the GOP will try their damnedest), that's it for A.B.B. I'll be back on November 5th, or whenever the Republican lawyers give up the fight (God forbid), to proclaim who the Anybody is.

THE FRANCHISE

Texas actually sent me my absentee ballot. I take back every nasty thing I ever said about them. Except for the part about George W. Bush and Karla Faye Tucker, and anything Clayton Williams ever said. And the fact that they are overrun with stinking Aggies. But other than that, they're OK in my book.

I have voted. So don't blame me.

HEY, IT'S WORKING

So, I didn't fail the test, obviously. I'm glad I gave up trying to chronicle the Mets' inevitable collapse, although the real reason I abruptly stopped blogging was that my domain name was discovered by a certain other person that I live with. I have dropped the domain name, and we're flying with the slash now, baby.

Yes, that means NO ONE will ever find this little journal, but that's cool. I don't intend to ever add much to it. It'll be pretty much back to normal, where entries will come when you least expect them, or want them. And since you won't be reading them anyway, what difference does it make?

See you (probably) never. Man, Russell Martin looks so much like Turtle.

THIS IS ONLY A TEST

I'm testing. I think I'll fail.

CAN ANYONE HERE CLOSE THIS GAME?

I just got back from work, and I'm sitting in the hotel lounge while my room is being cleaned. I almost escaped at about 1:45 pm, but I kept getting sucked back in, and missed today's entire game. I see that the Mets won, but only because they happened to be playing the wretched Padres.

Chase Headley started the scoring in the 2nd with his second homer in as many at-bats, this one off Johan. You'll recall the last one was off Eddie "Never-ever-allowed-a-homer-oh-never mind" Kunz. The Mets scratched across a couple of tallies in the 4th on RBI singles by Danny Murphy and Nick Evans. The lead was extended to 3-1 in the 6th on an Evans sac fly scoring Murphy.

The Padres got one of those annoying, foreshadowing, ticky-tack runs in the 8th off Santana, Duaner Sanchez, and Pedro Feliciano. Actually, it should have been much worse, but Joe Smith relieved Feliciano and got a huge double play ball from Kevin Kouzmanoff to keep it to only one run.

Scottie Schoeneweis started the 9th, apparently because the switch-hitting Headley was leading off. Headley flied out, but then new Met Killer Jody Gerut stepped up and hit his third homer of the series to tie the game at 3-3. Aaron Heilman was summoned at that point, because we all know Eddie Kunz gives up a home run in EVERY game he pitches. With the pressure off, Heilman easily retired the final two hitters to give the Mets a chance to win it in the 9th.

Former Met Heath Bell relieved for San Diego. I still don't get why you wouldn't use your closer on the road in this situation. It seems to be a universal rule that all managers follow, but it doesn't make sense, and I've seen it come up wrong on numerous occasions. I say, get the three outs in the 9th, try to go ahead in the 10th, and then take your chances. The conventional wisdom is take your chances in the 9th, then try to go ahead in the 10th and have the closer ready to finish things off. But if the 9th inning guy blows it, you've left your best bullet in the chamber. Why would you send up a lesser pitcher with the game tied instead of possibly sending him in there with a lead? I'd rather give him a one-run cushion. If he gives up one run, you are still playing. In the conventional wisdom, if he gives up a run, you lose. Or, you could let your closer even pitch another inning if he feels good.

In any event, Heath Bell got two outs before serving up a fat one to David Wright, who atoned for yesterday's error with a two-run homer to win the ball game. Meanwhile, Trevor Hoffman didn't break a sweat.

Florida has beaten the Phillies, and the Mets are now two games out. And Eddie Kunz has allowed one career home run.