SLINGER SAGA

In light of moving this entity of suck to Blog*Spot, I have decided to start writing in it again.  In this incarnation, I will chronicle my underachieving Strat-O-Matic team, the San Antonio Gunslingers.  First, a brief history.  The United States Strat Platoon started in the winter of 1993 on the 16-bit graphical interface of Prodigy, an unbeloved and long since vanished "on-line service", as such dinosaurs were called.  Prodigy, Compuserve, MSN, and AOL were islands of content that could be reached only by telephone modem and only by signing up for an exclusive account.  AOL was probably the flashiest, but it also was the biggest resource hog on your computer, and they were constantly sending you CD's in the mail to get you to sign up.  Compuserve was one of the earliest and had a nice, simple clean Windows interface, but the information content and interactivity with other users was pretty sparse.  MSN was Microsoft's fairly late attempt to get into the game, and was not very well executed.  Prodigy was my service of choice, because of the number and the varied interests of users and for all the ways you could interact with them.  It was also colorful, simple, and easy-to-use and navigate, and relatively cheap.

In 1993, about the time I was starting to date my future wife, I joined an interest group on Prodigy for Strat-O-Matic players.  Strat is a Major League Baseball simulation game that began in the 1960's as a card and dice game, and had evolved by the 1990's into a crude computer game.  I won't go into much detail about Strat itself, which is too broad a topic to cover in a blog post; suffice it to say that it was a routine early-year obsession for me from the age of about 9 to obtain the new player cards for the most recent season and start playing a carefully crafted schedule of games between the best teams, dice roll by dice roll, until a champion was crowned sometime in May.  When the computer game came out in the early 90's, I could pick and choose the games I wanted to play "by hand", as it were, while the computer played the rest automatically.  This was a fundamental change that allowed me to play a much bigger schedule of games, but that took some of the fun out of the whole endeavor.  I didn't "own" the whole process any more, and it seemed to get out of my control, and wasn't as enjoyable.  By 1993, I was looking for a new way to play Strat that would allow me to use the best features of the computer game, but still give that sense of excitement that I had in the early days.  The Prodigy interest group presented the perfect answer: join a league with other players and play by e-mail.

I had heard of play-by-mail leagues throughout my adolescence, but that idea seemed hideously cumbersome.  You would play games against the other players using their mailed instructions, and then mail out the results to the league commissioner.  All this paper would be flying back and forth, and some poor sap would have to tabulate all the results by hand.  I never felt like I was obsessed enough or had enough time to go through all that pain and suffering, and I kept my game-playing to myself.  With Prodigy, however, there was a way to e-mail instructions and game results files and tabulate everything electronically.  It seemed like the wave of the future, and I jumped on enthusiastically.  The other guys in the league were all about my age, early-to-mid 20's, some married, some with kids already, some still single and just out of college or med school (yes, we did, and still do, have a league physician).  Most were originally from the Northeast or had some Yankee ties of some sort.  We had a couple of Californians, a fellow Texan, a Floridian, and even an Alaskan.  The first commissioner was a brash kid named Mike who I believe was still in college, or at least of college age.

There were sixteen original members.  We all spent about a month hashing out the format and original constitution of the league, with Mike going off on long rants why things should be this way or that.  As the process dragged on, I began to think Mike was a little unstable, as did many of the other original members.  A few other of the older, more reasonable guys started taking firmer control of things and eventually we got through the birthing process well enough to schedule the initial draft.  The first draft was serpentine, with each team being assigned a number from 1 to 16, and the picks proceeding from 1 to 16 and then 16 to 1 and so on.  I was number 11.  To this day, I think this number explains a lot about my mediocrity in the league.  It wasn't a high number, where I could get Ken Griffey, Jr., or Randy Johnson, and it wasn't a low number, where I could get two really good players early.  It was somewhere in between, where I could get second-tier star early, and a third-tier star in the second round 10 picks later.  The other problem was, I knew nothing whatsoever about properly evaluating player talent (and I still don't pretty much).  

My first selection was Padres 1B Fred McGriff.  This was supposed to be my Bopper, a guy who could deliver those three-run homers so coveted by the likes of Earl Weaver.  In round 2, I took the Reds' hard-throwing righty, Jose Rijo.  He was my Stopper, a starting pitcher who could stop losing streaks.  In round 3, I took Expos CF Marquis Grissom, my Burner, a leadoff man who could get on base, play the outfield, and steal bases.  In the 4th round, I selected my Closer, Doug Jones, the portly junkballer from my home town team, Houston.  I figured with my Bopper, Stopper, Burner, and Closer, I had established the four main roles that any winning team needs, and the rest of the guys were pretty much filler.  Man, what a moron I was.  This strategy in and of itself wasn't so bad, but the guys I selected were terrible for these roles.  McGriff was a one-dimensional slugger who had just played his age 28 season and was headed for decline, and despite his commercials on ESPN for Tom Emanski's defensive drills, a lousy defensive player.  Jose Rijo wasn't a bad selection, but he had had a huge workload since he was 21, and two years later at 30 his career flamed out spectacularly.  Grissom's OBP of .322 was not high enough for a leadoff hitter.  And then there was Doug Jones...ugh.  He had been a journeyman reliever until he changed leagues in 1992, and his assortment of slop was baffling to National League hitters that year.  It should have been apparent to me that once the hitters adjusted, he would go back to being a glorified batting practice pitcher, which is a terrible occurence for a guy in a high leverage position like closer.

Predictably, with that feckless foursome as my "stars", that first year finished with an embarrassing 72-90 record, good for last place in my division.  Mike the commissioner quit after a couple of months, and the older, wiser Adam took over.  Adam remains one of only four owners I have ever met in person.  Adam gave way to JJ and then Drew (both of whom I have also met).  My turn is probably coming, since I am one of the last remaining original members.  In 1995, we expanded to the 20 teams we still have today.  As for my team, things have never much improved.  My highest winning percentage to date is .549, in 2005.  I have never had a 90-win season, and it's not looking good this year, either.  I have made some really ugly, lopsided trades that have set me back years, and I have never been able to select or acquire a decent starting pitching staff.  My first ever trade occurred in mid 1993, I believe.  I traded Fred McGriff, who I had become disillusioned with, and a promising young reliever, Mike Perez, for Shane Mack and Cal Eldred.  The killer of the deal was that I also gave up my 1st round pick in the next draft.  I really liked Eldred, and felt he could be a solid replacement for Rijo, who was in the process of washing out in Cincinnati when the trade was consummated.  If you recall, Eldred himself had all kinds of arm problems and never did amount to anything after a stellar half-season debut.  Mack was a complete waste, and I no longer had that coveted draft pick, which was a pretty high pick, to help recoup my losses.

I've made some other real bonehead draft picks and trades that spring to mind.  I selected Rick Ankiel when he was a pitching prospect in an early round of one draft.  I got one good MLB season out of him before he went all Nuke LaLoosh on the Mets in the 2000 playoffs and couldn't even hit the bull mascot if there was one.  I traded him for that noted wastoid, Travis Lee, and missed out on his good years as a CF with St. Louis.  I drafted Kosuke Fukudome with the 9th pick in the draft as recently as last season when I could have had Yunel Escobar.  That hasn't turned out well.  I'll just never learn.  I traded Jamie Moyer in 2002 for an extra first round pick, who I turned into K-Rod.  That was OK for a while, but then I re-drafted Moyer last year and they both had awful years in 2009 and now they both suck for me.

Well, that's the sort-of brief history.  I am currently picking 8th in this year's draft after another mediocre season.  Here is my team right now:

Hitters

Abreu, Bobby

Cabrera, Miguel 

Fukudome, Kosuke 

Gonzalez, Adrian 

Hill, Aaron 

Martin, Russell 

Pence, Hunter 

Quentin, Carlos 

Ramirez, Alexei 

Snyder, Chris

Torres, Andres - 2010 6th round draft pick

Uribe, Juan 

Wright, David

Pitchers

Buehrle, Mark

Millwood, Kevin - 2010 2nd round draft pick

Sanchez, Jonathan 

Kawakami, Kenshin 

Moyer, Jamie 

Miller, Andrew 

Matusz, Brian 

Oliver, Darren 

Ramirez, Ramon 

Rodriguez, Francisco 

Masset, Nick  - 2010 3rd round draft pick

Gregerson, Luke  - 2010 4th round draft pick

Mijares, Jose - 2010 5th round draft pick

Prospects

Crow, Aaron

Green, Grant 

Sheets, Ben 

Smoak, Justin 

White, Alex 

Perez, Martin  - 2010 1st round draft pick

Christian Colon  - 2010 4th round draft pick

I have some quality hitters there - Wright, Cabrera, Gonzalez, Hill, Abreu, and Pence.  Quentin has plantar fascitis and may never duplicate his earlier successes.  Alexei Ramirez is a decent SS, but not a star, and Russell Martin has suddenly turned into Jason Kendall after a great start.  Uribe and Fukudome are role players that will have more plate appearances for my team than they should.  Torres is a defensive replacement who clobbers lefties, which should be somewhat helpful.  The overall team defense is mediocre, especially at LF, CF, SS and 3B.  I do have three 1's with Gonzalez, Hill, and Martin.

As for the pitchers, it's such a horror show, I can't bear to look at it, but I will try.  Buehrle is serviceable, and Sanchez has some upside, but Kawakami and Millwood are strictly league-average innings munchers, and Moyer is a mess.  Brian Matusz could end up taking Buehrle's role as my "ace", such as it is.  We'll have to see what Ben Sheets can do in Oakland this year.  I've had Sheets for his whole career, and I've just about had enough of his constant injuries.  I think I've improved the bullpen going forward with Gregerson, Masset, and Mijares, but I always say that and it never seems to happen.  K-Rod might be on his last legs, or he might re-emerge as dominant if the Mets stay healthy this year, although with my history, you should bet on the former.

In the minors, I have high expectations for Justin Smoak and Martin Perez, and I think at least one or two of the other guys (Colon, Crow, Green, and White) will emerge as decent players.  I expect to fill the prospect coffers with my final few picks this year.

The draft is going pretty well for me, I think, although I would be one of the last persons you should ask.  I made a solid pick at #8 with Perez, who held his own at AA at the age of 18 and looks like the next Johan Santana.  I got Millwood to fill a gaping hole at Starting Pitcher, and I have improved the bullpen at least for the time being.  I took a flyer on Colon in the late fourth round.  He's been compared to Derek Jeter in terms of leadership, and he has all the numbers you would want from a college player.  Torres will platoon in CF with Fukudome, who is miserable against lefties.  I have pretty much finished building my 2010 team, and will now focus on either acquiring more prospects or trading for 2011 picks.  2010 looks like another down year because of inconsistent starting pitching.  If Sheets, Matusz, Buehrle, Sanchez and maybe even Millwood and Kawakami have good years, perhaps 2011 will look better.

In future posts, I will finish out the draft, follow my guys in Spring Training, and then detail the 2010 Strat and real seasons.  Gives me something to do, anyway.

DON'T READ THIS...AS IF YOU DO ANYWAY

I moved this here blerg to Blog*Spot, I think, and I am testing it out to see if I did in fact move it. So, so very important doings afoot.

ISN'T IT IRONIC

Well, now we know that at least 52% of Massachusetts voters have a pre-existing condition of stupidity. Which means they won't even realize why their health insurance policy was cancelled.

YEAH, STILL HERE

It's barely awake, but, yes, this thing still has life. Maybe in the new year, I will add some entries to it. Or perhaps not. In any case, I will leave you with our first ever embedded video:



If they have a funnier ad during the Super Bowl, I might just self-immolate with laughter.

THESE GIRLS ROCK

Well, it was a pretty degrading way to get a sponsor's exemption in the first place.

AND SOMEHOW, I KNOW THEY WANT TO

I love Facebook. Now the girls I was too shy to ask out in high school can keep tabs on the girls I was too shy to ask out in college.

UBUNTU VS WINDOWS 7 - ULTIMATE SMACKDOWN

Yeah, I know you want my take on this. You who never read this.

First, Ubuntu. I love the idea of Ubuntu, but the execution is lacking. The interface is great, installing is great, and the features that come with it are great (OpenOffice, FireFox, a huge library of open source software). Unfortunately, there are three very important things that it can't do for me. One is to recognize and take full advantage of my Asus motherboard with integrated ATI HDMI graphics and sound. When I hook up the Ubuntu PC to my TV, I get no sound. I tried looking for updated drivers, but there were none. There is no version of the ATI Catalyst Control Center that runs on Ubuntu. I can use the alternate speaker output and hook that up to a receiver, but that's not what I wanted. I bought an HDMI motherboard, and I want HDMI, dammit!

Secondly, I can't run Quicken on it. No chance, forget it, na gon do it. Intuit has not signed on to the open source revolution and never will. They have tethered their rope to Microsoft, and that's the end of that. I tried running an old version on one of the many Windows emulators you can download for Ubuntu, but it kept crashing. I gotta have that fresh new feature-rich version of Quicken. Actually, I'm sure I can find a passable alternative in the Ubuntu library, but I'm so used to Quicken and the way it can connect to my bank and download transactions flawlessly that I doubt that anything open source will work as well or as easily.

Thirdly, I am a Strat-O-Matic gamer, and Hal Richman and the incredibly customer-averse boys and girls in Glen Head can't even spell Ubuntu, let alone design a game for it. Windows or Mac are my only options, and why should I spend out the ass for a Mac? I'm not getting an HDMI Mac for under $1,000, while the PC I just bought was $600.

That leaves Windows 7. Wow. Can I repeat that? And more loudly. WOW. Now this is cool. There were absolutely no problems finding the Asus Motherboard drivers during installation and the HDMI worked perfectly the first time. I loaded the ATI Catalyst Control Center from the CD, and it worked fantastically well. I now have 42" of pure Windows 7 satisfaction, baby! If I wanted to run Quicken or Strat, I'm sure I could, although I haven't tried yet. I have those apps running on another Windows PC in my home office right now, and they will probably stay there.

I loaded iTunes and some, er, uh, other software that I use to get movies, and I downloaded a few. I fired the latter up on the new Windows Media Center. The picture and sound were amazing. This is a really nice movie and TV watching system. There is no Boxee for Windows yet, but the one for Ubuntu isn't exactly there yet either, so I'm not missing much. In fact, Boxee for Ubuntu caused my wireless keyboard and mouse to disappear when I tried it.

Probably the best part was when I got MLB.TV running. Come to Jesus! I can now watch the Mets in what is essentially the SNY or WPIX-11 High Def feed. It's virtually indistinguishable from the real thing, aside from some slight pixilation every so often. It'll only take me about 5 years for the computer to pay for itself when you factor the difference between MLB.TV and MLB Extra Innings on cable. Of course, in 5 years, you'll have the option of having MLB.TV beamed directly into your brain, or at least we can hope.

I've been playing around with the rest of Windows 7, and I really like it a lot. It's still Windows, with all those Gatesian annoying quirks, but man is it pretty and fast. You can load little gadgets that have the weather or sports scores, similar to what Ubuntu offers, and personalization is much easier than previous Windows versions. It's completely integrated into the Internet - almost everything you can click takes you to a web site somewhere for help or to download something. The dockable taskbar is way cooler than XP, and I really like the new file explorer. So far, it has run everything I've thrown at it, except for one thing - antivirus and security software. Norton, which is my provider of choice, only has free trial versions that will work with Windows 7, and they expire every two weeks. I glanced at some other options, but I don't want to have multiple subscriptions. I'll just keep uninstalling and installing the trial version until a real version is available. It's a minor inconvenience that I could do without, but at least it is free. This is probably the biggest disappointment so far, and one which Microsoft better get fixed fast, given their horrendous security track record and how entwined Windows 7 is with the web.

Verdict - if you have an HDTV, get a new computer, and get Windows 7. It works with every imaginable kind of hardware, it's super fast and reliable, and Windows Media Center is great. And grab an old laptop or a netbook and run Ubuntu to do your main surfing and e-mail so the viruses can't get you.

WHEN WILL THEY EVER GRADUATE? AND WILL THAT HELP?

Overheard from the guy who spends all day in the hallway on his cell phone counseling his kids at college:

Dropping a class at this point...

All the summer classes are full.

After my first year...

This is what John would do, he'd take the summer and transfer the grade, kna' mean?

It's a long summer, grant you, but it gets two necessary classes out of the way...

You gotta do it, you gotta do it...

It doesn't have to be next summer, but it'll be some summer.

When he gets it done doesn't matter.

Literature probably doesn't matter either way.

He's got six of those.

Any two literatures, doesn't matter.

It's the right thing to do.

Not five weeks of overlap, kna' mean?

"I've seen it, OK, I've seen it, OK."

Same book, same lab, plus what you got, plus what you kept, kna' mean?

"I gotta have it."

If for some reason, the ball isn't going your way, you don't get all six...

It's already been approved.

I know, but so what? So what?

You understand my point, though?

etc.

I hope this kid doesn't need marriage counseling in a few years.

NORTH TO...ZZZZZZ

I just stepped off a red-eye flight from Honolulu to Anchorage, the two most dissimilar cities with regular air service in this or any other possible universe. I'm sitting in the Ted "Free At Last" Stevens International Airport at the Era Aviation gate, which is about as comfortable as getting waterboarded by Henry Rollins. The hard, unforgiving plastic chairs are one thing, but the instrumental music that sounds like the soundtrack to a Kirk Cameron-directed remake of a Sergio Leone movie brings things to a whole other level.

Ha! I just noticed the "Monetize" tab in Blogger. If I had had that back in 2002 when this here web-a-log started, I might have, oh, 27 cents by now. It's a good thing I have an engineering degree. If I had to live off writing, I'd be...well, I probably wouldn't be sitting in a Marquis De Sade-designed airport waiting area in fucking Anchorage. Maybe I should do some rethinking.

The wilds of Kenai await! And that's just the Safeway. Those people in there are crazy.

MAUKA FRONT BLOGGING

Yeah, they put me facing the mountain this trip. I'm here in Oahu over the weekend, staying until Thursday night. I just got done with a turnaround here, and then I take a 6 hour flight to Anchorage and work another turnaround in Kenai. Finally I get to go home on May 8th, where my wife has something landscaping-related that is as bad as a turnaround planned for me, I'm sure.

Disney is busy building something here, which I can see out my window. It's right where the Pro Bowlers used to practice before Commissar Goodell moved the game to Miami. Apparently, it will be a hotel and condo development to compete with the JW Marriott Ihilani and the Marriott Beach Club. Cool! I hope we get a rate decrease, though somehow I doubt it. I'll definitely have to try it, assuming the rates are similar, and there's no reason they shouldn't be. Mickey don't get no premiums in Hawaii, brah.

We'll be moving into our new building in June. It has a Starbucks. I may be broke (and leaking hazelnut syrup from several orifices) by 2010.

"Little Dorrit" continues on PBS tonight. And I came 4,000 miles to see it!

OCEANFRONT BLOGGING

I am back at the Ihalani for like the 12th time. I now have enough Marriott points to buy a Sony Blu-Ray surround sound system with wireless speakers, but I will probably end up listening to my wife and blowing it on a vacation to the new JW Marriott that they are building two miles from my house. That pretty much sums up my life in a broad stroke. "We don't even have to board the dogs!" Yes, I know, honey, we don't have to board the dogs. Sigh.

The estimable proprietors of this here resort have seen fit to honor me with an ocean view room. This is the best room I've ever had here. I can see the main lagoon and parts of the other ones, plus the pool. If only it was a tad lower, the better to gawk at the wahine, but I shouldn't complain. Maybe I'll go to WalMart and buy some cheap binoculars.

I am still getting over my colorectal whatsis surgery, which still hurts like a mother when certain waste products pass through it. I took the remaining Vicodin from my surgical prescription with me just in case, but I haven't taken any. I'm thinking of going down to Waikiki and seeing what the tourists will pay me for it (and then buying some really good binoculars, perhaps).

Tomorrow my colleague and I undertake the task of loading the world's most confusing software on the control system out here. I'm scheduled for a week, but I am secretly hoping it takes longer now that I am in this room. Whoops! Missed a step, have to start all over! Damn!

Maybe I will post some more. Maybe not. Refresh often! Or don't!

THAT CAN'T BE GOOD

I knew we were in an economic crisis, but I had no idea it was affecting the sun! Does this mean we can forget about global warming now?

A.B.B. - BARACK OBAMA

Good luck and Godspeed, President-Elect Obama. You're gonna need it.

ANOTHER DAY ON THE ROCK

I'm writing in here only because it's too early to go to bed. I'm in Hawaii, and there is nothing on television. All the college football games are over, the ALCS Game 6 is done, and regular TV on Oceanic Time Warner Cable (are we all on a giant houseboat or something?) is hopeless. There is this one show worth watching called "Wahine Blue", on the Ocean Network, which consists almost entirely of footage of young local girls surfing, but it's not on right now. And I can only watch it so much, if you know what I mean.

I think I'll head over to Hulu and watch a few episodes of "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia". In glorious Lo-Def, with constant buffering because of my crappy Internet connection. I love this job!

A.B.B. 20

I think I have that right. It's been a while since I did an A.B.B., and not much has happened...har! It's about two hours before I have to go to bed, and I have nothing else to do, so let's have a look at the race. Wow, 20 days. Freaking unbelievable.

BARACK OBAMA

I think he's gonna win. I will probably blow it for him by publishing this, but he's successfully navigated the Scylla, Charybdis, and whatever the third debate can be compared to (the Santa Maria?), and he didn't start foaming at the mouth or chanting Koran verses, so he's the man to beat. Everybody in the media is trotting out the Bradley Effect, which was specious to begin with, and saying that white people will get the willies when they hit the voting booth, but I'm not buying it. I sure didn't get even one willy (willie?), and trust me, I am very, very white - almost ghostly. I can't believe he's ahead in Ohio AND Florida, and he might even have a shot in West By Gosh Virginia ("Almost Heavin'") , as my friend and former Mountaineer Stater Ziggy liked to say.

JOHN MCCAIN

Poor John. He's not a bad guy, and he's got a great sense of humor, but events have overtaken him. He was revealed as the incompetent leader he is when he a) picked Sarah "The Moose Whisperer" Palin as his running mate, and b) called a time-out (and ducked David Letterman) when the banking system tanked. Either or perhaps both of those choices will go down in history, like Michael Dukakis' snoopy helmet, as the turning point in what might have been a winning effort. I'm sorry, John. Go back to the Senate, and keep up that maverick spirit. And stay out of the Arizona sun, for crying out loud, you with the 47 melanomas.

Sarah, my dear, you should go back to Alaska and not come back until you're fully baked.

There you have it. Barring an October/very early November surprise (and you know the GOP will try their damnedest), that's it for A.B.B. I'll be back on November 5th, or whenever the Republican lawyers give up the fight (God forbid), to proclaim who the Anybody is.

THE FRANCHISE

Texas actually sent me my absentee ballot. I take back every nasty thing I ever said about them. Except for the part about George W. Bush and Karla Faye Tucker, and anything Clayton Williams ever said. And the fact that they are overrun with stinking Aggies. But other than that, they're OK in my book.

I have voted. So don't blame me.

HEY, IT'S WORKING

So, I didn't fail the test, obviously. I'm glad I gave up trying to chronicle the Mets' inevitable collapse, although the real reason I abruptly stopped blogging was that my domain name was discovered by a certain other person that I live with. I have dropped the domain name, and we're flying with the slash now, baby.

Yes, that means NO ONE will ever find this little journal, but that's cool. I don't intend to ever add much to it. It'll be pretty much back to normal, where entries will come when you least expect them, or want them. And since you won't be reading them anyway, what difference does it make?

See you (probably) never. Man, Russell Martin looks so much like Turtle.

THIS IS ONLY A TEST

I'm testing. I think I'll fail.

CAN ANYONE HERE CLOSE THIS GAME?

I just got back from work, and I'm sitting in the hotel lounge while my room is being cleaned. I almost escaped at about 1:45 pm, but I kept getting sucked back in, and missed today's entire game. I see that the Mets won, but only because they happened to be playing the wretched Padres.

Chase Headley started the scoring in the 2nd with his second homer in as many at-bats, this one off Johan. You'll recall the last one was off Eddie "Never-ever-allowed-a-homer-oh-never mind" Kunz. The Mets scratched across a couple of tallies in the 4th on RBI singles by Danny Murphy and Nick Evans. The lead was extended to 3-1 in the 6th on an Evans sac fly scoring Murphy.

The Padres got one of those annoying, foreshadowing, ticky-tack runs in the 8th off Santana, Duaner Sanchez, and Pedro Feliciano. Actually, it should have been much worse, but Joe Smith relieved Feliciano and got a huge double play ball from Kevin Kouzmanoff to keep it to only one run.

Scottie Schoeneweis started the 9th, apparently because the switch-hitting Headley was leading off. Headley flied out, but then new Met Killer Jody Gerut stepped up and hit his third homer of the series to tie the game at 3-3. Aaron Heilman was summoned at that point, because we all know Eddie Kunz gives up a home run in EVERY game he pitches. With the pressure off, Heilman easily retired the final two hitters to give the Mets a chance to win it in the 9th.

Former Met Heath Bell relieved for San Diego. I still don't get why you wouldn't use your closer on the road in this situation. It seems to be a universal rule that all managers follow, but it doesn't make sense, and I've seen it come up wrong on numerous occasions. I say, get the three outs in the 9th, try to go ahead in the 10th, and then take your chances. The conventional wisdom is take your chances in the 9th, then try to go ahead in the 10th and have the closer ready to finish things off. But if the 9th inning guy blows it, you've left your best bullet in the chamber. Why would you send up a lesser pitcher with the game tied instead of possibly sending him in there with a lead? I'd rather give him a one-run cushion. If he gives up one run, you are still playing. In the conventional wisdom, if he gives up a run, you lose. Or, you could let your closer even pitch another inning if he feels good.

In any event, Heath Bell got two outs before serving up a fat one to David Wright, who atoned for yesterday's error with a two-run homer to win the ball game. Meanwhile, Trevor Hoffman didn't break a sweat.

Florida has beaten the Phillies, and the Mets are now two games out. And Eddie Kunz has allowed one career home run.

NEVER ENDING

No sooner than Howie Rose had mentioned that new Mets reliever phenom Eddie Kunz had never yielded a home run in his two-year professional career, Chase Headley hit one into the Flushing night. Some things you need to keep to yourself, Howie.

Well, this is the Majors, and Kunz's feat had been achieved in what is quite aptly called the Minors. Looking at the Mets lineup lately, there appear to be more players that belong in the latter rather than the former, and even though the entire Padres team should be toiling in the Pacific Coast League, they still beat the Mets 4-2.

Jody Gerut repeated his feat from his previous at-bat off Aaron Heilman and homered on the first pitch from Petey to make it 1-0. Brian Giles thought that looked like fun and hit an even longer homer one batter later to make it 2-0. The Mets answered with a triple by Danny Murphy, who may be a fugitive of Boston's Irish mafia a la "The Departed", and a David Wright grounder mishandled by second baseman Edgar Gonzalez. New York tied it at 2-2 in the 5th when Murphy, who patiently waited for Jose Reyes to steal second, smacked a single into right to score Jose. I was driving back from my brother's house in Rhode Island when this happened, and it was right about then that Howie Rose opened his big fat yap about Eddie Kunz.

I arrived at my hotel right about the time the Padres took the lead for good. Pedro Feliciano had relieved Petey in the 7th with Luis Rodriguez on third, and nearly escaped from the jam after striking out Gerut. He got Giles to ground to third, but Wright botched the play and Rodriguez scored. I didn't hear what happened because of the static on WFAN, but after hearing that Wright made yet another error, I wasn't surprised. I tried to follow the rest of the game on ESPN GameCast, but the crappy hotel internet connection wouldn't allow it. The first thing I did when I got up morning was to check the line to see if Kunz had in fact given up a homer. Nice one, Howie.

Man, I can't wait to get home. Red Sox Nation is totally screwing with my Mets fandom mojo. The Phillies of course won, so now we're three back again. We finish up with the Padres with an afternoon game before hosting Florida over the weekend. We need this game, Johan. And Eddie Kunz has now allowed a home run in EVERY GAME he's ever pitched in the Majors. There, I said it.

MEDICAL BILL

Uh-oh. Billy Wagner is on the 15-day DL with arm problems. They still beat the atrocious San Diego Padres last night 6-5, but only because Aaron Heilman wasn't allowed to blow his first chance to finish a game in Billy's absence. Scottie Schoeneweis had to do the honors after Heilman allowed yet another multi-run homer, this time a three-run job by Jody Gerut. Even so, Jerry Manuel has proclaimed Heilman the closer for the indefinite future. We are doomed.

In better news, Fernando Tatis hit two homers last night, and we needed both of them, plus a couple of tack-on runs driven home by Danny Murphy and Nick Evans. Meanwhile, while guys making near the minimum win games, Omar is probably trying to figure out how to pay Luis Castillo even more money.

The Phillies were smoked by the Marlins, so everybody moved up a game. We're two back, with two left against the Pads. The Phils have a three-game set this weekend with the Pirates, who have exchanged the Jolly Roger for a white flag for 2008 after some high profile trades, but then have to travel to the West Coast. We get Florida at home, a makeup game with the Bucs, the Nats in Washington, and then a series at Pittsburgh. Now, if we had a closer, we could maybe make up some ground. You have to know Omar is thinking, "Is Armando Benitez available?"

BROCKTON BLUES

I go to Brockton, MA, and the Mets start sucking again. Here's the rundown:

Monday: Mets take a 3-2 lead into the 8th, and Joe Smith and Scottie Schoeneweis decide that they don't want to win today. Five runs later, the Mets don't.

Tuesday: Good Oliver shows up and stymies the Marlins, Mets win 4-1. This will be the last good Mets game for a while. I'm still waiting, in fact.

Wednesday: Marlins 7, Mets 5. Mike Pelfrey gives up a 5-spot in the 4th, and the Mets never quite recover.

Friday: Oh, brother. The Mets load the bases with none out against the Ed Wade Dis-Astros in the 7th with the score tied at 3-3 and fail to score. The Dis-Astros load the bases with none out in the eighth and Aaron Heilman gives up a granny to Mark Loretta.

Saturday: Daddy Wags craps the bed against his former team, giving up two runs in the ninth to blow a 4-2 lead. Houston wins it in the 10th, 5-4.

Sunday: Randy Freaking Wolf and four relievers shut out the Mets 4-0 to give Houston their first Mets sweep in 15 years.

I need to get home soon, apparently. The Mets find themselves three games back and in 3rd place behind Florida. San Diego comes to town tomorrow. We have to beat them, right? Right?

BYE, ALBERT, AND DON'T COME BACK

That would be the rampaging Albert Pujols and his Bat of Doom, of course. The Mets would have a three game sweep of the Cards if not for Albert, but then, a lot of things would be better for the Mets if not for Albert.

I'm in Red Sox Nation for a business trip (I cleared customs with only the obligatory hour wait on the tarmac at Logan), so we'll dispense with the usual prose and go to a quick game recap.

Friday: Mike Pelfrey goes seven and allows only one run in a convincing 7-2 victory. Delgado and the Other Reyes went deep.

Saturday: Hail to Albert, and to Skip Schumaker, whoever he is. Skip had six hits and Albert had five in a 14-inning thriller. Albert's final hit may still be in low earth orbit. He hit it off an exhausted Aaron Heilman in the 14th to give the Cards a 10-8 win. The Mets had erased two earlier deficits of 4-0 and 8-5, so I can't complain much. Just too much Albert.

Sunday: Our somewhat less formidable answer to Albert, Johan, went the route and the Mets whupped on Kyle Lohse for a 9-1 laugher. Fernando Tatis hit his second homer in two days. I suppose we have to give Omar his due here. Fernando Tatis would not have been my first, second, or 867th choice to replace Moises Alou.

We start up with Florida, who is hanging in there in the division race. Philly took two of three from Atlanta to stay one back, and now gets to beat up on the Nats. After that, Albert will be the Phillies' problem, and they can have him.

FIRST PLACE, BARELY

We should be three games ahead. We should be three games ahead. We should be three games ahead!

Sorry, I can't get that thought out of my brain. I realize that this is self-defeating and not helpful in any way, but still, WE SHOULD BE THREE GAMES AHEAD! Ok, never mind.

The Mets won game three against the Wife Beaters with a clutch two-out, two-run double in the 8th from my new best friend, Carlos Delgado. Dude is raking. Yeah, I know, I called him an embarrassment and washed up. It was just my motivational techniques! Well, it would be if he read this. The Good Oliver Perez showed up as well yesterday afternoon, yielding a solo homer by Jayson Werth as his only major blemish in seven and two-thirds innings. Wags was sharp again to get his 26th save in a 3-1 final.

The Cards come to Shea for three games starting tonight. Their pitching staff is looking pretty ratty, and they just fell behind the Brewers in the wild-card race. It's as good a time as any to see them, although they will have Phat Albert. They'll throw Kyle Lohse on Sunday, who the Mets couldn't touch the last time they faced him. This will make tonight's and Saturday's games critical. We have some guy named Brandon Knight (another Baseball Witness Protection Program player?) pitching on Saturday. He was torched pretty good while he was with the Yankees back in 2001 and 2002, but he has a 1.60 ERA this season with the Zephyrs. I'm not sure why he is a better option than Tony Armas, Jr., but Jerry Manuel has a 14-3 record in his last 17 games, so I suppose we should trust him.

And, also, we should be three games ahead. Really.

TGIW

As in Thank God It's Wagner, and not the rest of the Gang Who Can't Get Anybody Out When It Counts (GWCGAOWIC?). I feel somewhat better this morning, although I can't help but think we should by all rights be two games ahead right now and gunning for a sweep.

Jose Reyes did the major damage with a well-timed three-run homer off Ryan Madson in the 6th that broke a 3-3 tie. The Chief Wife Beater himself, Brett Myers, started and was wild, walking five and hitting Carlos Delgado. Maddeningly, the Mets kept letting him off the hook, scoring only two in the first even though Myers had walked the bases loaded and then walked in a run. The Phils answered immediately in the 2nd with back-to-back solo homers off starter John Maine by Shane "Annoyin' Hawaiian" Victorino and Geoff Jenkins. The Mets wasted a great opportunity in the 3rd when they loaded the bases with one out, but could only score one after Marlon Anderson struck out. They were lucky to get that one when Jimmy Rollins bobbled a grounder by Damion Easley that might have been the third out. Maine lasted seven and pitched well, staying around long enough to get the W after Reyes' homer.

I can't completely excoriate the Non-Wagners (much easier acronym), since Scottie Schoeneweis and Joe Smith were spotless in the 8th, aside from a prudent walk to Pat Burrell. Billy looked completely healthy in getting three quick outs in the ninth. I'm assuming he's available for this afternoon's game. Oliver "Two-Face" Perez takes on the Methusalah of the Delaware Valley, Jamie Moyer, to decide who walks away in the lead. It's probably best that I will be following this on my BlackBerry, although it may not be good that my BlackBerry is so easy to throw.

TIN METS

Why, oh, why, Lord, am I doomed to root for a team with no heart?

So, what if Billy Wagner is hurt? Come on, Duaner, show some nutsack and get the 5-6-7 hitters for the Phillies out for crying out loud! Instead, each one of them singles, and then Joe Smith gets a slow grounder from Pedro Feliz that Jose Reyes apparently wasn't thinking could ever possibly be hit to him, and he forgets that Shane "Flyin' Hawaiian" Victorino is on first. Reyes stops to think for a few seconds, straining his pea brain, then steps on second base well after Victorino has arrived, so now nobody is out. YOU'VE GOT TO GET ONE OUT! Then, So Taguchi, who is on the Phillies roster for one reason only, to torment the Mets, gets his first pinch hit of the entire season (thanks for pointing that out in advance, Gary Cohen), by driving a Pedro Feliciano pitch over Endy Chavez' head to tie the game. Endy, he's facing a lefty who lives on the outside of the plate, don't you think maybe he might want to go to right? So why are you playing right behind second base? I see the Phils added three more after that. I turned it off in disgust before that inevitability occurred.

Oh, this was a team effort all right. Endy Chavez has to be blamed for a lot of it, but he wasn't the only one. Chavez ran the Mets out of at least two runs on two separate bone-head plays. The second one was much worse than the first one. On the first one, with none out in the 3rd, Endy had singled to move Reyes to second. David Wright then hit a double that Chavez had almost no chance to score from first on, but he was waved around by Luis Aguayo and was out by ten feet. You can kind of chalk that one up to aggressiveness, because it was early in the game, but he should have stayed at third. In the second episode, in the 7th and again with none out, Endy hit what should have been an easy triple but missed Aguayo waving him to third and ended up with a double. Wright then hit a sharp single to right field, and Endy once again had zero chance of scoring, but as if to try to make up for his earlier two blunders, he and Aguayo gave it another try, and this time he was out by about 15 feet. You knew those two runs would be significant, and they were.

We suck. And we don't even have as much will to win, fire in our belly, intestinal fortitude, call it what you will, as a bunch of wife beaters. Have fun in the Playoffs, Philly. You want it more, so you can have it.

SPLIT-CINNATI

The Mets went 2-2 in southern Ohio this weekend, which was good enough to stay in a first place tie with the Wife Beaters. Here's a quick recap of the weekend's games:

Friday: John Maine gave up four runs on two hits, three walks and a hit batsman in the 5th, and the Mets couldn't solve Bronson Arroyo for the second time this season, as they fell 5-2.

Saturday: This was a close, back-and-forth affair until the 7th, when Pedro Feliciano got pounded by Jay Bruce, Jeff Keppinger and Adam Dunn, and Aaron Heilman chipped in by allowing a crushing triple to Joey Votto. The Reds won easily 7-2.

Sunday: The Mets got out to a 4-1 lead in the 4th, and with Mike Pelfrey on the mound I was feeling pretty good. Then in the bottom of the 4th, Marlon Anderson let Ken Griffey Jr.'s pop fly drop in for a ground-rule double, Brandon Phillips singled in Griffey, Ramon Castro threw one into center field on a steal attempt to allow Phillips to go to third, Dunn hit a sac fly, and Edwin Encarnacion jacked one into the left field seats, and it was 4-4. Just like that. Both teams added a run, with the Reds' tally coming on an impressive upper-tanker by Phillips, also off Pelfrey. The game went to extras, and Reds reliever Bill Bray, which sort of rhymes with "Bad Day", had one. He gave up an instant double to start the inning to pinch-hitter Robinson Cancel. Jose Reyes tried to bunt him to third, and catcher Javier Valentin almost collided with Encarnacion trying to field it, allowing Reyes to beat it out easily. It looked like the Reds were going to
get a break when Argenis Reyes hit a sharp grounder right to Encarnacion. Since Cancel had to hold at third, Encarnacion decided to try for the force at second, but threw the ball away into right field, scoring Cancel and sending Jose Reyes to third. After a David Wright intentional pass, Carlos Beltran hit a fast-dropping liner to right that Griffey caught but that left him in no position to make a throw as Jose scored. Daddy Wags struck out the side in the bottom of the 10th for a 7-5 Mets final.

Both the Mets and Wife Beaters now have identical records of 53-46, with Florida a half game back at 52-46. Florida has a remarkable -25 in run differential, compared to our +35 and Philly's +75. We play Philly for three at Shea starting Tuesday, then host the Cards. Philly hosts Atlanta after us, and the Marlins host Atlanta but then have to travel to Wrigley to play the NL leading Cubs for four games. This week is a critical chance to establish some separation from our rivals, but given the way the rest of the season has progressed, I'll be content with a tie or a lead of any kind when it is over.

O ME OF LITTLE FAITH

I have a confession to make. Bless me, Mets fans, for I have sinned. I turned off the game last night right after the immortal Javier Valentin hit that bases-clearing double to put the Reds up 8-6. "Shit!" I said, to my cat and two dogs (the wife is visiting family, and she doesn't typically watch with me anyway). "There goes the streak. Nice going, Schoeneweis and Heilman!" And then, I clicked the red "X" in the corner of the Firefox window and disgustedly went to bed.

Yeah, I know, Crash Davis said that a player on a streak must respect the streak, and that goes for fans as well. I should have stayed up the extra half-hour to watch the rousing 9th inning comeback. I see that David Wright hit a two-run bomb to tie it, and Carlos Delgado put us in the lead with a double, and scored on Fernando Tatis' double. All of this came off the normally reliable Reds closer, Francisco Cordero, who had his worst outing of the season. Dammit! I wish I had seen that.

I had only been absentmindedly checking in on the game periodically from the beginning. I was listening to an audio book that I bought so that I could participate in an online book club. Every so often, I'd minimize iTunes and see what the score was. It started out well, with Delgado hitting a two-run homer in the 4th to give the Mets a 2-0 lead. The next time I checked, it was 5-2 Reds. Wow, back-to-back homers, a double and a triple off Johan. The Reds can definitely hit. No wonder they got rid of Josh Hamilton for some pitching. The Mets quickly made it 5-4, and then 6-5, and I thought, "Ok, the bullpen has been stifling of late, looking good." I finished the book about then and headed up to the Man Cave to watch the rest of the game.

By the time the "Buffering..." stopped, the Reds had two men on and Aaron Heilman was doing his trademark nibbling. He walked Dan Ross to load the bases, and Manuel brought in Scottie Schoeneweis to face the switch-hitting Valentin. Scottie had Valentin looking pretty foolish early in the at-bat, but then he laid in a spinning slider that Valentin crushed to right-center. Reds announcer George Grande went into that weird high-pitched thing he does when he gets excited as everybody scored, and I sat there steaming. I momentarily debated with myself on hanging on to watch a potential comeback, but with the time approaching 9:30 pm, I didn't think I could make it, and it probably wasn't forthcoming anyway.

So, I'll do two three "Meet the Mets" and ten "Ya Gotta Believes" as penance (or is it pennants?). The Mets win puts us in a flat-footed tie, whatever that means, with the Philadelphia Wife Beaters (as I have taken to calling them) at 52-44. Man, we were two games under .500 when this thing started. John Maine takes on Bronson Arroyo and his mad licks tonight to try for 11 in a row. It's Friday, and I'm staying up all night if necessary. Unless it's 15-0 or something, of course. I'm not a masochist. Or I least I won't confess to being one here.

BREAK IT DOWN

Wow, nine straight wins. Who predicted that? Certainly not me. I've been teetering on the edge of shutting this stupid Mets blog down on numerous occasions this year due to poor play, lackadaisical attitudes, crippling injuries, and bad general management. Then, Mike Pelfrey turns into the right-handed Randy Johnson, and we're a half-game out at the break. As per the usual Mets luck, the All-Star break is timed perfectly to halt the nine-game winning streak, and all the momentum of the streak will be drained by having to watch some 10-minute schmaltzy video produced by FOX during the pre-game show. A half-hour of Jeannie Zelasko alone will make you never want to play or watch baseball again.

That being the case, what happened in the last few games? We'll do a quick recap again, because I have reverse jet lag and the home run derby is coming on.

Wednesday - The Mets clobber my Strat team pitcher Jonathan Sanchez, and Johan goes five innings until the rains come. The bullpen goes the other four after the skies clear in scoreless fashion for a 5-0 win over the Giants.

Thursday - A four-run seventh off two more guys clearly using aliases, Sergio Romo and Jack Taschner, breaks open a 3-3 tie with San Fran, and the Mets win 7-3. The bullpen doesn't even give up a hit.

Friday - The Rockies are in town, and even grab a 1-0 lead, before the Mets quickly tie it and then win it 2-1 in the bottom of the 8th. The bullpen has an epic meltdown over the previous night and gives up one hit.

Saturday - Petey starts but can only go four (yet another injury), but with this bullpen, who cares? Wait, what? Yes, the bullpen is clearly taking performance-enhancing something, and once again goes hitless. Maybe it's just the Rockies. The final is 3-0.

Sunday - Who even needs a bullpen? Mike Pelfrey is a golden god. Pelf goes eight and continues the Rockies woes as the Mets get ANOTHER shutout, 7-0. This is getting monotonous.

The Phillies have also been winning, or we would be in control of this division. They took two of three from both the Cards and D'backs after we left town. The Phils start eating their own tails in the NL East for the rest of the month. We get the Reds for four in Cincy right off the break. After Cincinnati, we play the Phillies and Cards at Shea and then at Florida and at Houston. The Phils make the full circuit: at Florida, at us, home for Atlanta, and then back on the road in Washington. After two home series with Florida and Pittsburgh, they have to make a west coast trip. I'd say slight advantage to us until after that trip, but it looks remarkably close after that, with both of us having to play the Cubs and Brewers down the stretch. It'll probably be decided by starting pitching, as it usually is. If the Phillies get one of the remaining starting pitchers available in trade, like A.J. Burnett, that might be enough. We're going to have to stand pat (because we have nothing left to trade), but at the moment, that's not looking too bad.

FLOPPIN' PHILS

This will be very quick. I'm in Hawaii and jet-lagged, and I'd rather be looking at the ocean out my window, frankly.

Friday: the Mets lose 3-2 on a 9th inning 2-out single by a kama'aina, Shane Victorino. Maybe I'll go fire eggs at his porch.

Saturday: the Mets break open a tight game with 6 runs off a suddenly mortal Phils bullpen, win it 9-4.

Sunday: Daddy Wags blows a 2-0 lead in the 9th on a Jayson Werth homer, but Fernando Tatis picks him up with a 2-run shot of his own, as the Mets prevail 4-2 in 12 innings.

Monday: Wagner nearly blows another one, but the Mets scrape by with a 10-9 victory after leading 8-0 at one stage.

Tuesday: Mike Pelfrey dominates the Giants, as the Amazins beat San Fran 7-0.

Four wins, one loss, and they should have won that one too. The Mets are now only one and half behind Philly, and only one in the loss column. The only bad news is that Ryan Church is back on the DL with migraines, likely from his two concussions.

Ok, back to staring at the ocean...

THE MAUL OF TROY

Last night added to the growing pile of evidence that the Mets of 2008 don't have what it takes to be champions, as if we didn't know that for certain already. They took a 7-5 lead over the Cardinals to the bottom of the 8th, and lost the game in regulation on homers by nepotism beneficiary Chris Duncan in the 8th and in the 9th by Blue Jay cast-off Troy Glaus, who had also homered in the first.

Pedro Feliciano did the honors against Duncan, and Carlos Muniz (?) gave up the game-winner. What on earth is Carlos Muniz doing in a high leverage situation? It was probably because, well, he was the last and only option. Aaron Heilman, Joe Smith, and Feliciano had already appeared, and Scotty Schoeneweis is a lefty and has been terrible of late. Jerry Manuel was following the conventional wisdom of saving your closer on the road, which I think is stupid. You can't win it in the 10th if you give up a run in the 9th. I'd rather take my chances with Muniz with an opportunity to have the lead than with the game tied. Duaner Sanchez was also in the pen, but I guess he wasn't available after appearing last night. The real killer was Feliciano allowing the home run to Duncan, who was slugging .179 with ZERO homers against left-hand pitchers coming into the game. I missed the depressing doings because of a rain delay that pushed the final way past my bedtime, but, man, that must have some kind of cookie that Feliciano served up to Duncan.

The first part of the game was pretty encouraging, except for the fact that Pedro Martinez got shelled again. His career is in danger of an unsightly and premature ending if he can't get it together soon. The Mets were down 4-0 before the last cars had exited I-70, thanks to Glaus' first home run and a two-run single by Rick Ankiel. Ankiel added his second dinger in two games in the fifth to add to Petey's woes. In between, though, the Mets had once again staged a comeback to tie the game, with Damion Easley getting a big two-out single in the 3rd with the bases loaded to score two. The rain started in the 4th, and I turned it off and went to bed.

After Ankiel had made it 5-4, the Mets jumped all over the once great Mark Mulder in the 7th. Mulder had a miserable outing, giving up hits to Carlos Delgado and Ryan Church, throwing a wild pitch, and hitting Brian Schneider. That Billy Beane, he sure knows when to cut a guy loose. The Mets posted three runs in the inning, and looked to be on their way. So much for that.

The Phillies won again, and appear to be over their recent outbreak of suck. We've had that disease from the outset, and no cure is evident.

TONY, ARM US!

That was unexpected. The Mets called up retread starter Tony Armas, Jr. from New Orleans to fill in because of the Friday doubleheader with the Yanks, and he wasn't bad. In fact, I think Oliver Perez should start thinking about whether or not he likes hot sauce on his oyster po-boys.

The Mets prevailed 7-4 against the Cards, thanks in large part to Mr. Armas, Jr. He got off to a slow start, giving up a no-doubter two-run shot to Rick Ankiel in the first and another run on a Skip Schumaker double in the second. The Mets clawed their way back to a tie with a run in the 2nd and a Ramon Castro two-run double in the 4th. In the 5th, Cards pitcher Todd Wellemeyer's wheels fell off, and the Mets scored three runs on four hits to knock him out of the game. Armas, meanwhile, settled in and did not allow another run until the 6th. David Wright capped off the Mets scoring in the top of the 6th with a towering home run into the bullpen in left. Aaron Heilman, Pedro Feliciano, Duaner Sanchez, and Billy Wagner each got some solid work in to end the game.

No ground was gained in the East as the Phillies clubbed around the Braves, after sending noted sensitive man Brett Myers to AAA Lehigh Valley. Watch out, Allentown. You wouldn't like him when he's angry. Or drunk.

BEAT ME IN ST. LOUIS

I hope the Mets' plane makes it to St. Louis today. Oh, you mean they were there last night? Could have fooled me.

Kyle Lohse, who admittedly has received some Dave Duncan magic, but still, is not the second coming of Bob Gibson, stymied the so-called Mets on five hits over seven innings, and the Cardinals scored on the seemingly absent New Yorkers in each of the first five innings for a 7-1 drubbing. If it wasn't for Rick Ankiel throwing one of his trademarked wild pitches (and heaven knows, the Mets have seen that before), the Mets would have been shut out completely, and had very little to prove their presence at Busch Stadium.

John Maine had an Oliver Perez-like outing, with bad command and bad location, which meshed well with the Mets bad defense. David Wright needs to surrender his Gold Glove to authorities immediately. He caused one of the runs in the 4th by making a ridiculously conceived throw to first on an Aaron Miles grounder that even a post-knee-surgery Tiger Woods could have beaten out. The throw sailed into foul territory behind the bag, where $6 million man Luis Castillo was not backing up, allowing Miles to go to second. Phat Albert Pujols immediately bounced a single up the middle to score Miles to make it 5-0 and end any serious hopes of a Met victory. Prior to that, in the 2nd, The $6MMan, as I like to call him, let an easy two hopper by Skip Schumaker go right through his $6 million legs to allow Yadier Molina to score from second with the third Cardinal run.

The loss put us three back in the loss column behind the Phillies. We're still one behind them in games played, and will be up through the All-Star break. All the good teams are in the NL Central this year, which leaves the East and West up for grabs. If anybody can put together a 2007 Rockies-like streak at any point, the division will be theirs. I'd settle for a two-game winning streak at this point.

FOUR OUT OF SIX AIN'T BAD

The Mets may finish third or fourth, they may win only 75 or 80 games, Oliver Perez may frustrate the hell out of us, Petey may be on his last legs, Jerry Manuel may not be any better than Willie Randolph, Omar Minaya may continue to overvalue aging guys from the Dominican, the Wilpons may continue to meddle and sow dysfunction, and Luis Castillo may wear out a path with grounders to shortstop, but WE BEAT THE YANKS 4 GAMES TO 2! Suck it, Yankees!

Game 4 of the Subway Series was played Friday afternoon at The Stade, a make-up game for an earlier rainout. The Mets got out to 1-0 lead early on a gentlemen named Dan Giese whose likeness will not be appearing on any monuments, but gave the run right back in the bottom of the first. Carlos Beltran lined a two-run homer into the short porch in right in the 3rd to make it 3-1, but once again, the Mets couldn't consolidate, as Mike Pelfrey allowed a bunch of dinks and dunks for three more Yankee runs. Giese got into more trouble in the fifth, loading the bases on two walks and a David Wright single. That brought in another non-immortal, Edwar (My Parents Forgot The Last D) Ramirez. He allowed a fielders choice to Beltran, and then Carlos Delgado smacked a double that Bobby Abreu chased like a radioactive rabbit in the right field corner as two more runs scored.

Ramirez started the 6th, but gave up a single to Brian Schneider and a walk to Jose Reyes and was relieved by Ross Ohlendorf, who may not even have a uniform number for all I know. Wright singled to drive in Schneider and then Beltran walked, setting the stage again for Delgado, who hit a Mantle-like blast into the deep recesses of the right-center bleachers, possibly conking one of those "roll call" idiots right on his malformed noggin. That made the score 11-4, and the competitive section of the game was over. Delgado added a three-run shot off LaTroy Hawkins in the 8th to make the final score 15-6. He finished with a team record 9 RBI.

The nightcap at Shea was an unfortunate mess. Pedro Martinez was once again solid for a few innings, and then completely jumped the rails and gave up a total of six runs over the last two and two-thirds he was in there. Reclamation project Sidney Ponson was fantastic for the Yankees, lasting six innings and allowing no runs on five hits and four walks. Scotty Schoeneweis had another in a series of bad games and gave up the last three runs as the Yanks won 9-0.

Thanks to the wunderkind of FOX and MLB, I was unable to watch Saturday's game. Instead I was forced to watch the Cubs and White Sox, presumably because I live west of the Mississippi. Of course, I didn't watch it, because I don't care about those teams, and thus missed all the lovely advertising. Here's an idea: I paid over $100 for MLB.TV, so how about you let me watch that, and you can include all the advertising you want? There's nothing else to do between innings anyway. No, instead, you drive away the very people you want to attract with a blackout. Good job!

I listened on WFAN, and was not pleased. Once again, the Mets couldn't score enough runs for Johan Santana, and lost for his fifth straight start. It started well, with Ramon Castro hitting a titanic homer to left center off Andy Pettitte in the 2nd. That was the last lead the Mets would have, though. Santana started off the 4th with walks to Jeter and Abreu, and both players eventually scored. The Yanks added a crucial insurance run in the 6th when Robinson Cano hit a two-out single with the bases loaded to score A-Rod, who of course had also walked. David Wright led off the bottom of the 6th with a home run, but it was exactly two batters too late. If the Johan had gotten Cano out, Wright's homer would have tied it, and the Mets may not have seen Mo Rivera, but as it was, they did, and they were baffled like most everyone else is. 3-2 Yanks.

Sunday's game was on TBS, for some reason, so I got to enjoy some hi-def action for a change. Jason Giambi's mustache looks even more spectacularly 70's-porn-ier in HD. Ron Darling's pre-game chiron asked, "Which Oliver Perez will show up?" It turned out to be Gallant and not Goofus for a change, and the Yanks had no answers. Perez plowed through the Bomber order, walking none and allowing only three hits and a run (a huge Wilson Betemit homer) in seven innings. Pedro Feliciano had a 1-2-3 8th, and Billy Wagner made some hearts palpitate by allowing a leadoff single to Peter Eater Jeter, but escaped unharmed for his 18th save. Delgado hit another home run in the winning effort. The final score was a tidy 3-1.

The Phillies lost a late game in Texas, dropping their lead over Florida to one game. Despite our under-.500 first half, we're still only three out. A couple good weeks, and we could take charge of this thing. Unfortunately, Petey is a shambles right now, Pelfrey and Perez are still not consistent, and Johan is not getting any run support. The offense has been picking up, but Alou is out indefinitely, and even though it was nice to get Ryan Church back, Trot Nixon and Endy Chavez are both lousy corner outfielders on offense. Maybe we can get Xavier Nady back from the Pirates, but I doubt it. Omar has traded every decent player away, so this is probably the team that we go with in the second half.

But we beat the Yankees 4 game to 2! 2008 isn't so bad after all.

A.B.B. 130

With the Mets taking an off day on Thursday, let's focus on the Anybody But Bush race. Yesterday, Barack Obama met with former Democratic Party foe Hillary Clinton in the symbolically chosen town of Unity, New Hampshire. It's a good thing they didn't meet in Hillary's first choice, I Hate You And Everything You Stand For, North Dakota.



It's OK, it's a "Land of friendly people!"

Anyway, it's Obama vs. McCain, or Hussein vs. Bush Part II, if you listen to each one of their campaign staffs. Actually, Obama probably wouldn't want that matchup, based on what happened the first time. How are they doing? Let's run down the state polls.

Alabama - McCain safe
Alaska - McCain close
Arizona - McCain safe
Arkansas - McCain safe
California - Obama safe
Colorado - Obama close
Connecticut - Obama close
Delaware - Obama safe
D.C. - Obama safe
Florida - McCain safe
Georgia - Too close to call
Hawaii - Obama safe
Idaho - McCain safe
Illinois - Obama safe
Indiana - Too close to call
Iowa - Obama close
Kansas - McCain safe
Kentucky - McCain safe
Louisiana - McCain safe
Maine - Obama safe
Maryland - Obama safe
Massachusetts - Obama safe
Michigan - Obama close
Minnesota - Obama safe
Mississippi - McCain close
Missouri - McCain close
Montana - McCain close
Nebraska - McCain safe
Nevada - McCain close
New Hampshire - Obama safe
New Jersey - Obama safe
New Mexico - Obama close
New York - Obama safe
North Carolina - McCain close
North Dakota - McCain close
Ohio - Too close to call
Oklahoma - McCain safe
Oregon - Obama close
Pennsylvania - Obama close
Rhode Island - Obama safe
South Carolina - McCain safe
South Dakota - McCain safe
Tennessee - McCain safe
Texas - McCain close
Utah - McCain safe
Vermont - Obama safe
Virginia - Too close to call
Washington - Obama safe
West Virginia - McCain safe
Wisconsin - Obama safe
Wyoming - McCain safe

Tallying up the electoral votes, that gives us:

McCain safe - 126
McCain close - 80
Obama safe - 200
Obama close - 73
Too close to call - 59

If the election were held today, Obama would win with at least 273 electoral votes to a maximum of 265 for McCain. The battleground states appear to be Virginia, Indiana, Georgia and Ohio, but Obama would win even if he lost all four and maintained his advantage in the rest of the states where he is leading. And if these polls were even a semblance of reality, which we know they are not.

I would have to conclude from this cursory analysis that Obama will have to screw the pooch pretty badly to lose this election. He has 200 safe electoral votes to McCain's 126, which is an enormous cushion. With Obama's cash advantage by way of his decision to decline public funding, you would have to believe that he will only improve his numbers in the battleground states and possibly even turn one or two McCain-close states.

Obama has to watch out for Pennsylvania, Oregon, Colorado, Iowa, and New Mexico. These are all trending his way right now, but not by much. Pennsylvania and Oregon have been going Democratic in the past few elections, but both are high in a demographic he has struggled with, working class whites. Iowa, Colorado, and New Mexico have traditionally been Republican strongholds. If he has any more of these Reverend Wright flare-ups or other gaffes, all five of these states could go to McCain.

As for McCain, the fact that my home state of Texas is only in the "close" column says a lot about his candidacy. He has a tremendous amount of work to do, and it is difficult to imagine that he is up to the task. He'll have to turn at least a few of those five states I mentioned earlier, and he'll have to win Ohio, Virginia, and for heavens sake Georgia to have any chance. I can't believe Georgia is a battleground state. That might be apocryphal, but there are a large number of African Americans in increasingly prominent positions there, so it could be true.

WRIGHT IS RIGHT

I missed all the fun, again. I was banished to our makeshift office, which would otherwise be our spare downstairs bedroom, because my wife was having her book club in the (Half A) Man Cave. Since I knew that I wouldn't be getting the 42" screen, I dawdled, watching The Daily Show, Colbert, and PTI on the DVR in the bedroom until about 6:30, and then I listened to some podcasts until about 7 pm. When MLB.TV came on on the office PC, I was expecting another disaster, but happily, I saw the 2 2 4 line for the Mets in the first three innings. I had to check RotoTimes.com to figure out that David Wright had homered twice.

Then, as if to spite me, the Mets offense took the rest of the night off, and John Maine got into enough scrapes to make me nervous. Thankfully, Aaron Heilman, Joe Smith, and Duaner Sanchez each pitched a scoreless inning and ended all hopes of a Mariner sweep. The Mets won it 8-2, and will enjoy their rare home day off today as they prepare for a four game set with the Bronx Bummers. The Yanks have been showing faint signs of life lately, winning seven of ten and settling firmly in third place behind the Rays. Pretty much like us, really. It should be a good series. Not Ana Ivanovic in tennis whites good, but close.

WORSE THAN THE WORST

Yipe. An 11-0 shellacking by the freaking Mariners. Yeah, this was surely all Willie Randolph's fault.

R.A. Dickey, it turns out, is a knuckleballer. He's a knuckleballer with a 5.77 ERA coming in who the Mets could not figure out for the life of them, failing to mount even a serious threat for the first six innings Mr. Dickey was on the mound, and merely loading the bases with two outs in the 7th. The score was 10-0 by then, so even if Jose Reyes had come through, it would have been at best 10-4. What a sad and sorry lot.

Ok, we'll try this again. This game, they should win. Miguel Batista, who is replacing the injured Erik Bedard tonight, has an ERA of 6.26, and a 3-9 record. He lost his starting job earlier in the season and wasn't much better in the bullpen, and is only starting due to Bedard's injury. We have our #2, John Maine. Thank goodness the Phillies are still losing. By the way, the 16-2 runs-scored start to this series has put the Mets at a -8 run differential for the year, which is right what our record would indicate it should be.

FRANKLY, I COULD HAVE WAITED 38 YEARS

I made it to the Man Cave, and just as MLB.TV finished buffering and a picture popped up, there was King Felix's grand slam sailing over the right field fence. It was a replay, but I didn't like seeing it much no matter when it happened.

4-0 Mariners. And I hadn't even got the couch cushions arranged yet. Damn it! Then Felix proceeded to stymie the Mets for the next few innings. At least that I expected. The Mets did get a run and knocked Felix out of the game in the 5th on a wild pitch and a mad dash home by Carlos Beltran. Felix stood too much on the plate, and Beltran barreled into him, rolling over his left ankle. He's the proverbial day-to-day, but as Dan Patrick once asked, aren't we all?

The Mets had the inklings of a rally in the 9th off emergency closer Sean Green (not Jewish), but it fizzled when Carlos Delgado was viciously struck out by Green's replacement, Arthur Rhodes. Damion Easley also K'd, looking, to end the game at 5-2.

To recap, if King Felix doesn't close his eyes and hit a granny, that one was ours. Ok, you have to blame David Wright for booting a grounder and prolonging the inning as well, but still. Thirty-seven years since an AL pitcher has hit a grand slam, and the Mets have to be the ones to give up the next one. Sigh.

EASTWARD, HO!

The Mets completed the west-of-Texas segment of their schedule with a 2-games-to-1 series win over the Rockies. Believe it or not, we are only two games back of Philadelphia in the loss column. They have played two more games than us due to all the lousy weather in New York this year, plus they have a game in hand due to scheduling. Had we won the two rainouts that have yet to be played (vs. Pittsburgh and the Yankees), we'd be only two and a half out. Sorry about that, Willie.

As for the game this weekend, John Maine was stellar in the opener, allowing only six hits, three walks and two runs in six and two-thirds innings. The Mets rode a five-run explosion in the 2nd off Rockies ace Aaron Cook to an easy 7-2 win. The two-out hits in the 2nd inning were fairly breath-taking. Jose Reyes, Endy Chavez, and David Wright all smacked hard RBI singles off Cook when it looked like he had escaped the worst of it. I thought Cook was a goner at that point, but he ended up going seven, probably because the Rockies bullpen is a shambles. I turned it off after 4 innings and headed to bed, even on a Friday night. I am old.

Game 2 was a lowlight of the trip. Fortunately, I missed it because I didn't have the energy to go up to the Man Cave at 8 pm to tune in. We had just committed to spending about $7,000 on a home improvement project, and dropping that kind of money on something that is not going to be any fun at all is exhausting. The Mets took a quick lead on a Jose Reyes triple and a Luis Castillo sac fly, and Petey was strong for the first four, striking out four and only allowing two hits and a walk. Then the homers and singles and doubles started and wouldn't stop. Garrett Atkins and Brad Hawpe went back-to-back to lead off the 5th, then Troy Tulowitzki doubled, pitcher Ubaldo Jimenez singled, Willie Taveras singled home a run, Jeff Baker doubled home two more (you get the idea). When Claudio Vargas is deemed a better option, you aren't pitching well. Vargas did get a DP to end the inning, but the Mets had no answer for Jimenez, who lasted all the way through the 8th. The final was 7-1.

Sunday afternoon brought better things for the Mets pitchers especially. I was playing Strat and having brats at one of my fellow owners' houses, and he didn't have MLB Extra Innings, so I was out of luck. Reyes led off the game with another triple, and scored on a grounder by Wright that was ruled a hit and error after Tulowitzki threw it away. The Mets then scored all the runs they would need on a two-run homer by Carlos Beltran in the third. Mike Pelfrey is rounding into shape as a decent alternative to El Duque (and certainly one with a better future). He went five and two-thirds of shutout ball and was removed due to a high pitch count and a couple of walks in the 6th. Joe Smith finished the inning and then gave up the only Rockies run in the 7th, a Yorvit Torrealba dinger. The usual pair of Duaner Sanchez and Billy Wagner sewed up the 3-1 win.

The Mets return to Shea to play the woeful Seattle Mariners, owners of the worst record in baseball. Had it been two weeks ago, the stage would have been set for some crushing Metsian disappointment, but these look like games we should win. Johan faces King Felix tonight (I'll drag myself to the Man Cave for that one, come hell or hardwood flooring), and after that we get some guy named R.A. Dickey with an ERA north of five and then the thoroughly underachieving Erik Bedard on Wednesday. The Manuel magic will be put to the real test in the subsequent games, with four against the Yanks, four against the Cards, and four more against the Phillies. After these 15 games, we'll see what we have. Or we'll be actually looking forward to seeing the office get redecorated.

WP-ROD

This one was on me. All the way. Francisco Rodriguez is one of my Strat team pitchers, and David Wright is also on my Strat team (he normally plays left field, but that's another story).

The Mets beat the Angels in 10 innings by a score of 5-4 to notch Jerry Manuel's first managerial win. I was snoring loudly in Texas, and missed it all, of course. New York took another 1-0 lead in the first on a Wright groundout, and even expanded it to 3-0 before blowing it. Oliver Perez calmed his demons up until the 4th, when Jeff Mathis singled home the first run. The beasts within Oliver really came out in the 5th, when the Halos loaded the bases on two hits and a walk. Vlad "The Met Impaler" Guerrero then singled home the tying runs, and Torii Hunter put LAA on top 4-3 with another hit.

Perez was allowed to stay in, which looks to be the first instance of a non-Willie decision in Manuel's tenure. Peterson and Randolph would have worn a path to Perez in that inning and used at least three bullpen guys, so maybe things will be better. Perez got out of the 5th and got an inning-ending DP in the 6th before giving way to Joe Smith in the 7th with the Mets still trailing.

It must have looked pretty grim, with the Mets down to their last out, David Wright up against one of the toughest righty closers in the game, and Jose Reyes stuck on first because he was too afraid to try to steal with Wright up. K-Rod got strike one, but then after a ball, he bounced one in the dirt, which gave Reyes just enough time to scamper to second. The rest I've seen plenty of times on my Strat computer game, although Wright isn't the one doing it. David smacked one of K-Rod's trademark sliders into left field to score Reyes with the tying run, and after Duaner Sanchez recorded a 1-2-3 ninth, they went on to extras.

It didn't last too much longer. Third batter Damion Easley, who started his career with the California Angels (yes, he's old), hit a 1-0 pitch from Justin Speier into the left field seats, and Billy Wagner had no problems in the bottom of the inning for his 16th save.

Today the Mets get a day off, although they'll have to spend it in LoDo. Or SoDo, whichever. What lame neighborhood names they have in Denver. Let me guess, they call Upper Downtown UpDo? At least they are only one time zone removed from me, and I can maybe catch the first five innings. Yaaayyyy, no more Pacific time zone games!!! Summer is here.

MANUEL AUTOMATIC

The Mets, bleary from jet lag for the third time this year and throat-sore from answering 8,000 questions about Willie Randolph, put it on auto-pilot for a 6-1 defeat at the hands of the Ninety Miles Southeast of Oxnard Angels. Even Johan Santana couldn't help, giving up three quick runs in the first after the Mets had taken a 1-0 lead. LAA got another in the third and added a Jeff Mathis home run in the 6th before Santana was replaced by Aaron Heilman after 95 lackluster pitches. The sixth run scored in the 8th after a throwing error by $6 million man Luis Castillo.

The Jerry Manuel era starts 0-1. The Omar Minaya era continues its downward spiral into a black hole of stupidity. Which Oliver Perez will show up tonight? Will anyone care? And now that the Mets have been in California three times this year, are they eligible for gay marriage? These are the pressing questions before us.

SO, DOES HE HAVE TO CHECK OUT OF HIS HOTEL ROOM?

Ah, the Mets. After 46 years, you'd think they'd have a decent Human Resources handbook, or something.

Within hours of capping off a 9-6 victory over the (Insert Geography Joke Here) Angels, Omar Minaya, General "Manager" of the Mets, fired manager Willie Randolph, pitching coach Rick Peterson, and first base coach Tom Nieto. They were replaced by former bench coach Jerry Manuel, AAA pitching coach Dan Warthen, and the recently-hired Kenny Oberkfell, respectively. Yeah, that'll help.

I have no words. I'm going to write anyway, because I have nothing better to do at this particular moment. Remember when 2008 looked like a pretty good year? We had Johan, we had Wright and Reyes, this Church guy looked like a pretty good pickup, Pedro was healthy, Alou was healthy, Beltran was still in his prime, and though Delgado was not looking great, but he could still be counted on for 20-25 homers and some RBI's. Duaner was coming back fairly early, Billy the Kid was still there, Joe Smith looked to build on his impressive 2007 stint, and despite the fact we still had Schoeneweis and his ridiculous salary, he couldn't get any worse, could he?

Wow. It's all officially circling the drain now. Johan's been great, but the farm system we gave up to get him is as dry as my front lawn. Alou needs ID to get into the stadium he is there so infrequently. Delgado is an embarrassment. Beltran has only finally gotten going recently, but still isn't up to his normal standards. Church got a concussion and was subsequently sent on road trips (see lack of Human Resources handbook mentioned above). Wright can't hit righties, and Reyes is more streaky than usual. Luis Castillo is making $6 million dollars to slap balls to the shortstop. The bullpen is very close to having to be registered as a WMD. Oliver Perez pitches great one outing, and can't get anybody out in the next. Mike Pelfrey probably belongs in AAA, but with El Duque out indefinitely and Pedro in and out of the rotation, we have no choice but to let him learn how to pitch in the majors. There are guys who hadn't recorded a hit in
several YEARS prior to 2008 getting significant playing time.

So now we finish 2008 with an interim manager, an interim pitching coach, and a GM who has no clue and probably should be fired. This is a very bad mess, and a very expensive one at that.

How can we get out of it? Well, fire Omar and get a GM that knows his way around a sabermetric report would be a start. What GM in his right mind counts on Moises Alou, Orlando Hernandez, and Pedro Martinez to continue to perform at high levels well into their late 30's and 40's? How can Omar not see that Carlos Delgado is toast, and not at least have some idea of how to replace him? Why did Omar pay $6 million for Luis Castillo, when he could have paid the minimum for Ruben Gotay and gotten equally bad performance? How can Omar let a guy with a concussion go on road trips? WHO IN THE HELL IS ROBINSON CANCEL?

Here's a suggestion, Lords Wilpon: farm out the GM job to the Baseball Prospectus crew. They are pretty good a critiquing every other GM, so why not get them to put up or shut up? Gary Huckabay and Rany Jazayerli can be in charge of player personnel, Joe Sheehan can handle media relations, Will Carroll can direct the medical staff, Neil deMause can negotiate contracts, Clay Davenport can be the Assistant GM in charge of Advanced Statistical Methods, etc. If they win, it's good for the Mets, and if they lose, every other organization and Joe Morgan will send you gift baskets when they have to shutter their site.

Think about, guys. It can't be worse than what's going on now.

RANGERS IN THE DAY (AND EARLY EVENING)

This will be quick. I have no patience for these guys anymore. When guys like Robinson Cancel are getting game-winning RBI's, even if he is playing for the Mets, does it really matter?

The Mets blew a perfectly good 4-0 lead last Thursday afternoon to Arizona. I was following on ESPN's GameCast, and I saw it coming from 12 inches away (the distance from me to my monitor). First, in the 8th, Joe Smith relieved Johan Santana, who had been outstanding as usual, and gave up a RBI triple to Mark Reynolds to cut the lead in half. Then in the 9th Billy Wagner reprised his role of two days ago, and gave up the tying runs, although this time the tying run itself scored on a groundout that was nearly a game-ending DP. Then Aaron Heilman came in to start the 10th. Need I say more?

On Friday, New York cruised to a 7-1 win over Texas behind Oliver Perez, of all people. Oliver had one of his increasingly rare good days, giving up only three hits and three walks in seven innings. No one particularly shone on offense, with several players contributing timely hits. It was the kind of game that makes you even more angry at all the other games.

Saturday was a rainout, and with the Rangers only in town for one trip and needing to get away early, a traditional doubleheader was scheduled for Sunday. I was blacked out from watching the game on MLB.TV because the Rangers, some 300 miles away, are in my "home area", and were supposedly on Fox Sports Southwest, although they weren't showing up on my TV. Texas took a 1-0 lead off John Maine in the 3rd with an Ian Kinsler home run, but Carlos Delgado tied it in the 5th with a round-tripper of his own. Ramon Vazquez hit a two-run homer in the 5th, and then Carlos Beltran answered with a homer of his own in the 6th to make it 3-2. Maine started the 7th, but then the bullpen was summoned, and all hell broke loose, as usual. Pedro Feliciano gave up a two-run single to Vazquez, and Kinsler hit another dinger to put the game apparently on ice. The Mets battled back with three in the 8th and two in the 9th, but newly acquired former Diamondback Trot Nixon was stranded at 2nd for the 8-7 final.

The second game was a relaxed affair before friends and family, as most of the first game patrons had gone home to see if Tiger Woods could win the US Open on a gimpy knee (answer - probably, but not until today). That's what I was watching also, until my wife and I went to dinner and saw the game on Fox Sports Southwest on one of the establishment's TV's. After we got home, I checked the channel on the HD side, and got nothing but a test-pattern. I then checked the Low Def channel, and even though something called "Sports Science" was scheduled, there were the Mets and Rangers at Shea. So, I guess MLB.TV was right! Now, why is the HD channel not running when the Low Def channel is?

In any event, the Mets erased an early 2-0 deficit and rallied back to tie and then take the lead behind Petey. The first two scored on back-to-back RBI singles by David Wright and Beltran, and the final two came in on a hit by the aforementioned Cancel. What an appropriate name for an '08 Met! Pedro and the bullpen retired the final 16 Rangers batters and the Mets won 4-2. Maybe the Mets should restrict attendance at home games for the rest of the year. The bullpen seemed to like the relative quiet.

The series win puts us within two games of .500, looking up longingly at the Phillies, who lost two of three to St. Louis. Nothing has changed, and undoubtedly not much will for some time. Alou is back on the DL, and Trot Nixon is not the player Alou is even though he is over six years younger. Ryan Church may be back soon, but who knows how long he'll stay. The bullpen isn't going anywhere, and that's the biggest shame.

Hey, another trip to California! Just what we need.

SNAKEBIT/BITING BACK

On Tuesday, the Mets and D'Backs were in a race with a huge weather system bearing down on Shea, and each team scored early. Arizona got a run in the top of the first off John Maine, and the Mets answered with three runs off Micah Owings. David Wright hit a two-run homer deep into the left-field bleachers in the 2nd, and with Maine settled down, it looked like possibly a successful and quick night as the skies gradually darkened. Maine kept throwing more pitches than he would have like, though, and by the end of the 5th, with score now 5-3, he was over 100 pitches and needed to sit down. No problem, right? It's an official game, and the rain is coming any second.

Yup, here it comes. Any second now. Meanwhile, the D'Backs rallied for two runs to tie it in the sixth off Claudio "I Belong in New Orleans" Vargas. Of course, now it finally rained. I went to bed, disgusted at the Mets for blowing an easy rain-shortened win, so I missed the rest of it. Apparently. the rain subsided quickly, and Chris Snyder belted a home run off Joe Smith in the 8th to make it 6-5. Duaner Sanchez was brought in for the ninth but could not keep the game close, yielding dingers to Stephen Drew and Conor Jackson for a 9-5 final. Same old Mets.
The weather was better on Wednesday as Mike Pelfrey made another attempt to stay in the rotation. I was stuck in my bedroom and couldn't watch because my wife was using the so-called Man Cave for her book club. The Mets picked up three runs in the fourth off D'Backs ace Brandon Webb. Jose Reyes and Luis Castillo led off with singles, with Reyes advancing to third on a throwing error by Webb, and after Wright moved Castillo over with a groundout, Carlos Beltran drove home a pair with a base hit to right center. Carlos Delgado reached on an infield hit, and then Marlon Anderson, playing for the (surprise!) injured Moises Alou, grounded into a fielder's choice to pick up an RBI. Webb's pitch count in the 4th inning was 28, and he left after five still trailing 3-0.

Pelfrey, meanwhile, was uncharacteristically brilliant, averaging a strikeout per inning and generally baffling the D'Backs' hitters. Willie was prepared to let Pelfrey try for the shutout, but after Drew led off the 9th with a single, in came Billy Wagner. Again, no problem, right? Billy's pretty reliable. Down went Orlando Hudson on strikes, and things are looking good. Uh-oh, double by Conor Jackson, tying run at the plate, Chad Tracy up. Tracy K'd, and now the D'Backs were down to their last out, with Mark Reynolds up. Reynolds bats right and leads the team in HR's. I don't like where this is going. And where this is going is way up in the left-field bleachers on a 3-2 pitch. Two strikes on him, even! Tie game, 3-3, and Mike Pelfrey goes from a shutout to an ND in record time. Thanks, Bill.

I finally was able to tune in on MLB.TV in the bottom of the 9th just in time to see Brian Schneider hit a can of corn to center with two on to send the game to extras. It looked like another dispiriting loss was on the way, and it was only a question of when. The innings dragged on with neither team threatening. Feliciano relieved Wagner, who gave way to Heilman (ugh) and then Vargas (double ugh), but the Snakes couldn't take advantage. We did nothing against Chad Qualls, and then Edgar Gonzalez, the very dregs of the Arizona bullpen, came in and pitched a scoreless 12th. Just as it seemed the game might last until well past my bedtime, Castillo hit a harmless grounder to third that Reynolds botched. After Wright popped out for what should have been the third out, Beltran stepped up and on a 2-2 count, hit a screamer toward the scoreboard in right. "IT'S OUTTA HERE!! IT'S OUTTA HERE!! AND THE METS WIN THE BALLGAME!" bellowed Gary Cohen through my PC speakers. 5-3 in 13. We NEEDED that one.

The Johan battles the other Diamondbacks ace, Danny Haren, today. Moises is limping, Church is on the DL, and some guy named Chris Aguila is wearing #29. We're six and a half out, and two games under .500. This season is rapidly disintegrating, but at least for one night, it was fun to be a Mets fan. I guess I'll stick with it.

QUICK ONE

Since last time...

Padres 2, Mets 1
Padres 2, Mets 1
Padres 8, Mets 6

The Mets stink. That is all.

KEEP GETTING HIT WITH BASEBALLS, SAN DIEGO

Ok, enough with the "Anchorman" references. I promise. Until the next one.

The Padres beat the Mets last night 2-1 on...get ready...you'll love this...a bases-loaded walk-off hit by pitch. Seriously. Scotty Schoeneweis, rapidly reverting to his past suckitude, walked the sacks full in the 9th inning of a 1-1 game (why not try Master William here? You can't win it in the 10th if you give up a run in the 9th, Willie...Baseball 101). The first two unintentional walks both came after 0-2 counts. Nibbling much, Scotty? I missed it of course because I was sawing z's in my Central Time Zone abode, but someday I might have a look at the lowlights on MLB.TV. Adrian Gonzalez grounded out to the mound, but it acted like a sac bunt because Scotty could only get the out at first. Kevin Kouzmanoff was then intentionally passed to set up a force at any base. We got the force, but it was a force-in, not a force-out. Paul McAnulty (real name, once again, withheld) was the plunkee, and you can put this one in the loss
column for the Dumbass Mets.

Kouzmanoff factored in one of those rare plays you don't see often (I didn't see it either, but then again, I don't see much when they play on the West Coast and I'm not there with them) in the 7th inning. The Kouz smacked a hot grounder toward short which struck Tadahito Iguchi in the leg, giving Kouzmanoff a hit and the Mets the final out of the inning. As Crash Davis might say, if you can ricochet only one ball a week of your teammates, it's the difference between .250 and .300. Then again, Iguchi fell on his shoulder trying to avoid the ball and will be out for at least a month, so this may not be such a good strategy.

The loss wasted another decent effort by Mike Pelfrey, who lasted six innings and gave up eight hits, three walks and only the one run. Another who-dat named Josh Banks matched Pelfrey with an almost equal line of 6 IP, 5 H, 1 ER. Padres skipper Bud Black, himself an ex-pitcher, did not make Willie's mistake and used his future Hall-of-Fame closer Trevor Hoffman in the top of the 9th for one scoreless inning.

Ho-hum, the Phillies won again, this time with pitching (three-hit shutout by Cole Hamels). The Braves once again beat the Marlins, putting us back in fourth for the moment as we watch the Fish slide back into the depths. The Johan takes on former Phil and current umpire little brother Randy Wolf tonight. Hopefully, Jim is not working the plate. Of course, if Schoeneweis comes in, it wouldn't matter.

WORKADAY WIN

I was still at work when the Mets took a quick 3-0 lead on the Giants in the first inning of their getaway early afternoon game Wednesday. Doubles by Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran bracketed a hit-by-pitch of David Wright. Reyes and Wright scored on Beltran's two-bagger, and Carlos Delgado singled in Beltran. All this damage came off Giants youngster Matt Cain, who, today, was not able.

John Maine gave up an unearned run in the 3rd after a Jose Reyes error and a wild pitch. Jose Castillo singled home Fred Lewis (once again, I think these names are made up) to make it 3-1. Reyes hit a two-run homer in the 4th to give the Mets a 5-1 lead, which they held onto despite Duaner Sanchez's best efforts to blow it in the 8th. Sir William picked up another save, his 13th.

The MLB draft is today, with the Mets picking 18th and 22nd in the first round, plus a sandwich pick at #33. The estimable John Sickels is projecting that they will take catcher Jason Castro from Stanford at #18, and Andrew Cashner, a relief pitcher from TCU at #22. I don't put much stock in predictions after that point, since the permutations of who might be available get completely absurd. The important thing is that he thinks the Mets will draft from the college ranks, which makes sense because the farm system is decimated and needs a shot of near-ready talent immediately. Of course, Omar will probably trade it all away for Latino guys in their 40's as soon as possible, but at least they made an effort.

Braves closer-for-now Manny Acosta badly blew a save against the Marlins yesterday afternoon, which allowed the Marlins to stay in second and for us to tie the Braves for third. The Phillies ran into the Edinson Volquez Experience and lost 2-0, for what that's worth. Hopefully, it will screw up their bats for a while. We head down to San Diego, who ended the Cubs nine game winning streak behind Old Man Greg Maddux. Luckily, we won't have to see him, or Jake Peavy, who is hurt.

In other news, Hillary Clinton, having conceded the Democratic nomination, is vowing to fight on in her marriage, despite having to wait for Gina Gershon to get out of the bathroom so she could take her shower this morning.

OLIVER WITHOUT THE TWIST

Oliver Perez was lit up again on Monday night, this time by the lowly San Francisco Giants, who pounded him for six runs, two home runs, and two doubles to go with two walks in less than one inning. I guess he didn't get much sleep on the cross-country flight that took off at 3 am. The ignominious final was 10-2. Carlos Muniz gave up four runs in relief as a parting gift on his way back to New Orleans. Thanks, Carlos!

Muniz' departure brought in the man of the hour, the man of our dreams, Sweet Pete Martinez. Pedro was activated Tuesday morning, and made his second start of the year Tuesday night. Petey not only made it out of the first inning, but went six strong as the Mets stumbled to a 9-6 victory. The 5th inning was a bit of a sticky wicket for $126 million dollar man Barry Zito and the Giants. To wit: Walk, Single, Double, Sac Fly, Walk, Single. Vinnie Chulk came in and gave up Single, Single (Pedro's second hit of the night), Error, Double and the final two outs. It was 9-1 when it mercifully ended. The Giants battled back for five more runs, three off Scotty Schoeneweis on a Travis "Who Dat" Denker home run in the 9th to make it 9-6. Billy The Aging Kid was required for his 12th save.

One would have to be encouraged by Pedro's fine outing. That said, it was the Giants, and it was only one game. Give me about 15 more or those against some actual competition, and then we'll talk.

The Mets finish up in San Fran today, and then head south to Stay Classy San Diego. The Phils have sprinted out to a 2 and 1/2 game lead, and look unstoppable at the plate at least. The Marlins have lost six out of seven and are starting to resemble the Marlins again. The Braves keep treading water along with us, except they just lost one of their best pitchers for the year (John Smoltz) and we just got one of ours back. At least for one game, anyway.